


Finding the Right Words

by TurquoiseTerrier



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Muteness, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-01-04 01:49:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 44,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21189563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurquoiseTerrier/pseuds/TurquoiseTerrier
Summary: His voice stolen by the trauma of his childhood, Aaron lives a quiet life.Until he meets Robert.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, a few days after I decided to 'take a break' for a bit... here I am. Self control? What's that... :P
> 
> Anyway. New idea for me, so please let me know what you think! :D

**February 2015**

Robert shoves the car door shut, the white Audi R8 one of the few things he still owns after being unceremoniously fired from White International.

He only has himself to blame really; cheating on your fiancée, who just so happens to be the daughter of your boss... really not the best plan.

Still. He got a decent severance package. Silver linings and all that.

He tosses his car keys up in the air before catching them in the same hand. Hitting the button to lock the car up, he walks down the street, turning left, onto the forecourt of the Woolpack. There's a sign beside the door. 'Closed for Private Function' it says.

He shrugs, goes to open the door anyway. He's been away for years, surely whatever this private function is can't be more important, he thinks.

He pushes the door open, walks inside.

*

A funeral.

Ah. Maybe he should come back later, he wonders.

Curious as to whose wake it is though, he steps further into the room, craning his neck to see the photos on the bar.

Katie.

He feels a brief flash of sadness. She was so young... he wonders how she died. No-one's noticed him yet, and he takes the opportunity to glance around, see who he recognises.

Chas, behind the bar, serving. Diane, over by the buffet table. Victoria, next to Diane with her back to him. He scans the room, clocking a fit bloke at the bar nursing a pint. He gives the bloke another look, a quick once over. Nice...

No sign of Andy though. Robert frowns, turning to leave. He'll come back later, he decides.

He almost, almost makes it to the door before a hand grabs his arm, spinning him around.

“Robert!” Victoria cries, pulling him into a hug. He wraps his arms around her automatically, holding her tightly.

“Hi,” he says, grinning at her as she takes a step back to look at him properly. “Miss me?”

She swats at him. “You pick your moments, don't you?” She says. “You ring up out of nowhere, tell me you've lost your job, I tell you to come home, then nothing?”

“Sorry,” he says, genuinely.

“It's been weeks Robert!” She scolds him, before sobering. “If you'd have rung, then I would have told you about...” she waves at the room behind her. “This.”

Robert nods. “I erm...” he pauses, unsure what to say. “When did she die?” He goes for.

“Just over a week ago,” Vic tells him. “Andy's not dealing with it very well.”

“Understandable,” Robert replies. “Where is he, anyway?” He asks.

“He's outside,” she says. “Got a phone call.”

Robert nods, opens his mouth to speak, but gets interrupted by Diane. His step-mum's attention has finally been torn from the buffet table, and she walks briskly across the room, stopping in front of him with a fond smile. “Hello pet,” she says, giving him a quick hug. “Victoria told me you'd phoned, didn't expect to see you though.”

He shrugs, non-committal. “Just a spur of the moment thing,” he says. “Was in Leeds, thought I'd drop in.”

Diane raises an eyebrow. “Well, your timing could be better,” she points out, always critical.

“Yeah...” he agrees. He can't really argue with her, can he? “I should have phoned.”

“Well, you're here now,” Diane says brightly. “Do you want a drink?” She asks.

He shakes his head no. “How did she er... how did she die?” He says instead, curious. The answer, if either his sister or his step-mum was planning on giving him one, is lost when Andy comes back through the door. Diane and Victoria rush over to him, and Robert sighs. Always second best. He briefly wonders why he bothered coming at all. He's never going to be the golden boy, he knows that.

He shakes his head minutely. It's Katie's funeral, he tells himself. Andy deserves their full attention today, of all days.

He'll see what happens tomorrow, he decides instead.

Walking over to the bar, he leans against it casually, close enough to hear what Andy's saying, even though his adoptive brother hasn't yet noticed him.

“The bloke says he can come pick them up tomorrow,” Andy's saying. Robert frowns, wondering what he's on about. “Take the whole lot of them in one go.”

“Well, is it a good price?” Diane's asking.

Andy shrugs. “I don't care,” he replies. “I just want them gone, I don't care where, I don't care how.” He sniffs. “I just want those horses off the farm, Diane.”

Robert doesn't know what makes him say it. He really is his own worst enemy sometimes. The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. “Getting rid of the horses pretty quick, aren't you?” He quips. “You jealous?” He asks. “She always did like them more than you.” He says with a grin.

Of all the reactions he could have expected, sheer unbridled fury is not one of them. Andy's eyes widen as he realises who is standing in front of him, and his brother lunges for him, shrugging off Diane and Victoria's meagre attempts to stop him in his tracks. Robert ducks away, sending Andy crashing into the bar instead. Glasses go everywhere, shattering on the floor, a mixture of beer, wine and spirits soaking into the bar, running down to the floor.

“She had a riding accident, you idiot!” He hears someone shout. He doesn't know who it is, he's too busy avoiding the muscle-bound lunatic his brother has transformed into. He's half expecting him to turn green, if he's honest.

Definitely not the best choice of opening lines then, he thinks as he ducks another punch. “I didn't know!” He shouts, fruitlessly. Andy's too enraged, too upset and caught up in his grief to be listening.

“Get him out of here!” He hears someone screech, high pitched. Female. Probably Chas, it came from the direction of the trashed bar.

He ducks another punch, finding himself cornered this time. Breathing in quickly, he prepares to charge.

Hopefully Andy won't flatten him, he thinks.

He doesn't fancy his chances, but he doesn't really have much choice.

Suddenly, Andy is grabbed around the middle by two sets of arms and dragged away. Robert breathes a quick sigh of relief before he too is grabbed, by one person this time, and unceremoniously shoved out of the pub, through the double doors and outside.

He and his captor stumble down the steps and to the left. He's pushed around the side of the pub, spun around and slammed up against the side wall of Pear Tree, unfamiliar hands fisted in his blazer, pinning him to the wall.

Breath knocked out of him, he wheezes, before opening the eyes he'd squeezed shut, looking down slightly.

His gaze meets that of bright, bright blue eyes and he blinks slowly, mesmerised.

It's the bloke from the bar. The fit one.

He's even fitter in natural light, Robert thinks. Brown hair, slightly curly. Black jeans, black top, black hoodie over it.

Got a favourite colour then, Robert notes.

Their faces are so close their breath is intermingling. They stare at each other in silence for long moments before the other man lets out a strangled growl and lets him go. He turns and walks away, leaving Robert to slump slightly.

Robert watches him go, watches him disappear back inside the pub.

A grin forms on his face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your comments and kudos! <333 Please keep letting me know what you think!

The following morning, Aaron comes downstairs and into the back room of the Woolpack, yawning widely.

“Morning,” his Mum says, from the kitchen area. She's got the toaster in front of her, peering at it anxiously. He doesn't know why she does that; it's not like the toaster doesn't make any noise when it pops up. “You want some toast, sweetheart?” She asks him, watching him as she waits for a response.

He nods at her, rolling his shoulders as he walks around the back of the sofa, plonking himself down in the nearest chair at the dining table. He watches Chas silently as she retrieves her toast from the toaster and puts it on a plate, giving that to Aaron before getting two more slices from the bread bin and starting the whole process again. He smiles at her in thanks when she next looks at him, butters his toast and takes a big bite from it.

Chewing, he looks around the room, frowning at Chas when she sits down opposite him with her own, fresh toast. “What, love?” She asks him. He looks around the room again, then at her quizzically. 

She looks at him with brief confusion, before she realises what he's getting at. “Diane?” She asks. He nods. “She's not here,” she tells him, stating the obvious as usual. “Andy was still upset last night, Victoria couldn't calm him down so she went up there late on, after you'd gone to bed,” she explains. “She rang before, she's coming down later to pack, she's going to move in up at Wylies with him for a while, so it's just you and me for the foreseeable.” 

Aaron nods at her, takes another bite of toast. He doesn't dislike Andy as such, but he's heard stories, and the man had never bothered to make an effort with him, so while he felt sad that the bloke had lost his wife, he didn't care much beyond that.

“I know I told you you could have today off, Aaron, but...” Chas says to him, looking hopeful. He knows what's coming before she even says it. “Could you give me a hand this afternoon? I've managed to persuade Bob to give me a hand tonight, after he's done at the cafe but we've got that coach trip coming through, I could really use the help?”

He nods a yes at her, never able to refuse her. It's not the easiest thing, serving customers when you can't talk to them and tell them what they owe, or ask them what they want in the first place, but him and his Mum have gotten it down to a fine art over the years. His usual tasks are changing barrels, collecting empties, general cleaning up and serving the locals who know about his... issue, as he likes to call it. His Mum deals with anything more complicated, and of course, this incoming coach crowd would be mostly dealt with by her.

“Thanks sweetheart,” she says, a soft smile on her face as she looks at him. “Oooh, is that the time?” She says, looking at her watch. “I'd better go get my face on, we'll be opening soon.” She grabs her other slice of toast as she stands up, gives him a quick half hug on the way past and disappears through the door. He hears her feet on the stairs a few seconds later, and sighs.

He hasn't slept well; he can't stop thinking about the blond man from the wake. Robert, he found out after he came back from dragging the man out of the bar.

Robert Sugden.

Throwing the other man up against the wall, then the moment, he can't call it anything else, that they'd shared, looking at each other like that...

It had sparked something within him. Something he'd never felt before.

He just didn't know what to do about it.

*

Robert adjusts his leather jacket as he leaves the B&B, walking out into the bright, but chilly February morning sunshine. He shivers lightly, regretting not putting another layer on as well as the shirt and jumper he already wore underneath the black leather, but he doesn't want to face another round of questioning from Auntie Val if he goes back inside.

Last night had been bad enough. She'd missed the 'fun' at the wake, and had refused to let him go up to his room until he'd given her a blow by literal blow account of the whole disaster.

Three times.

For good measure, she'd insisted.

Spying Vic down the street, he breaks into a jog, calling her name as he races to catch her up. She pauses, waits for him down by the shop and he comes to a halt beside her, only slightly out of breath.

He's been working in an office job for the last few years. That's his excuse anyway, and he's sticking to it.

“Hows Andy this morning?” He asks her, knowing full well if it's not the first question out of his mouth, he'll probably be accused of not caring.

She purses her lips. “Eventually calmed him down,” she tells him. “He's still upset though,” she adds. “Diane's moving up there for a while, stay with him, keep him company.”

Robert nods. “I am sorry,” he says. “I didn't know, and I did try to ask but no-one said.”

“Mmm,” Vic replies. “It's fine,” she says. “It's done now. Just... stay out of his way, yeah? Probably for the best.”

“Yeah,” Robert agrees. “So erm,” he changes the subject swiftly. “The bloke who dragged me out of the pub last night?” The one who he hadn't been able to stop thinking about ever since, but he couldn't tell Vic that. Too many questions. Got to keep it casual... “He didn't say much,” he goes with instead, trying to fish for info without it being too obvious.

“Aaron?” Vic asks.

Robert shrugs. “I don't know,” he says. “Shorter than me, younger than me, brown hair, beard.”

“Yeah, that's Aaron.” She says.

“Strong, silent type is he?” Robert asks.

Vic shakes her head. “Not in the way you're thinking,” she tells him. “Aaron...” She pauses for a second, looking at him as if sizing him up. “Aaron's mute,” she blurts. “He doesn't talk, at all.”

“Wow,” Robert says eventually. He hadn't been expecting that. It just makes him more curious though. “Has he always...?”

“I don't think so,” Vic says. “Chas is his Mum,” she tells him. “From what I've heard, he used to come visit her, he lived with his Dad, and he used to talk, but then his step-mum dumped him here just before Christmas... ooooh... 2008 I think it was? Anyway, he hasn't said a word, not even when she dropped him off.”

Robert blinks. “Did he have an accident or something?” He asks. “Did something happen that caused it?”

Vic shrugs. “No-one knows,” she says. “From what I've heard... people talk, you know that... there's no medical reason why he doesn't talk, he just... doesn't.”

“So how does he communicate?” Robert asks, curious.

Vic starts to answer him, but is interrupted by her phone ringing. “Hang on,” she says, answering it. He doesn't really pay much attention to her side of the conversation, letting his mind wander instead until she touches his arm. “I've got to go,” she tells him. “Diane needs me up at Wylies. We'll talk later, yeah? Catch up properly?”

Andy coming first again, Robert thinks before berating himself. He shouldn't be jealous, the man's just lost his wife but he can't help himself. Over nine years away and he's still way, way down on their list of priorities.

He watches his sister walk away from him, up the street and his thoughts return to Aaron.

Six years... over six years for that matter, without saying a word?

It only makes Robert more interested in the younger man. “Aaron,” he says out loud, letting the name roll off his tongue. It's a pleasant sound. He likes it.

*

An hour, a bright idea and some internet searching later, Robert is on an Aaron hunt.

He assumes that he lives at the pub, with Chas but that wouldn't be a good idea. Not after last night anyway.

So he has to bide his time instead, with a new tactic.

One that consists of wandering up and down the street, trying not to look like a stalker, while watching the pub intently waiting for, hoping for Aaron to emerge.

Surely he can't stay in there all day...

He tells himself that it's only been half an hour since he started his casual amble up and down the street, and he needs to be more patient.

Problem is, patience has never been his strong point.

He wanders level with the shop, turns on his heel and fishes his phone out of his pocket. Meandering back up the road, he pretends to be doing something on his phone, glancing up towards the pub every few seconds as he goes.

He's almost level with the pub when his idea pays off; Aaron appearing at the front door, jogging down the steps lightly and out onto the tarmac. Smiling to himself, he changes direction, crossing the road, straight into Aaron's path. Catching Aaron's attention as he gets in the other man's way, he raises his right hand in a silent wave. Aaron pauses in his tracks, and he grabs the opportunity.

Hello. My name is... R... O... B... E... R...T... he signs awkwardly, haltingly, his brief internet session hopefully paying off. He just hopes he's correct. The last thing he needs is to say the wrong thing by accident.

Aaron looks at him like he's an alien, and he realises that he probably has done something wrong. Aaron raises an eyebrow, clearly offended before shoving past and heading off up the street towards the bus stop. Robert turns quickly to chase after him, grabbing Aaron's right arm before he gets too far away and spinning him around to face him. Aaron flinches in fright, both hands coming up in defensive mode and Robert releases him quickly, raising both hands in surrender, trying his best to look non-threatening. 

“Sorry,” he says to him, out loud this time. The signing was clearly a very bad idea. Aaron stares at him for long seconds before taking a step back, about to leave. “I just wanted to talk to you!” Robert blurts, loudly. “I didn't mean to offend you,” he adds, softer. “I just thought...” he trails off. For once in his life he's not sure what to say. “I just wanted to talk to you,” he repeats, trying a smile. Aaron softens slightly, and Robert grabs the chance. “Can I buy you a coffee?” He offers, pointing at the cafe.

Aaron glances to his right, at the cafe and considers for a moment before nodding.

“Right then,” Robert says. “Coming?” He asks, halfway across the road already.

Aaron nods, follows him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for your comments and kudos, it means so much. <333 As always, please let me know what you think!

Robert walks into the cafe first, holding the door open for Aaron, who's just behind him. The place looks a hell of a lot different to when he was last in here, that's for sure, he notes, letting go of the door once Aaron's clear of it. He starts to make his way to the counter, before realising that he doesn't know what Aaron likes, coffee wise. Turning to him, he opens his mouth then closes it again while he tries to work out how to ask. 

“Do you have a usual?” He tries, hopeful. Aaron nods, and Robert smiles. “Will...” he glances at the blonde woman behind the counter he doesn't recognise. “Whoever that is know?” He asks. Aaron nods again, and Robert grins properly. “Last question,” he continues. “In here or outside?”

Aaron tips his head towards the window, and Robert nods. “Outside it is,” he says. “Back in a few minutes.” He leaves Aaron by the door, heading up to the counter. There's a woman standing in front of him paying for her food he doesn't recognise either, and he glances behind him, seeing that Aaron has fished a phone out of his pocket and is peering at it.

The woman in front of him picks up her coffee and cake and turns. Robert steps sideways to give her room to get past him, before stepping up to the counter. “Americano please,” he says to the blonde woman. “And whatever Aaron's usual is? Takeaway, please.”

She nods at him, starts to make up his order. “You're Robert Sugden, aren't you?” She asks, glancing at him with curiosity.

“That's me,” he confirms. Please... please don't let her be a talker, he silently begs. He wants to get back to Aaron. Glancing behind himself again, he sees him, still messing with his phone, ignoring everyone else.

“I thought it was,” the blonde is saying. “I'm Brenda,” she tells him. Finishing his order, she puts the two takeaway cups on the counter between them. “I heard there was a bit of a to-do at the wake last night?” She says, fishing for information.

Village gossip then, Robert realises. “You heard right,” he tells her, getting his wallet out and handing her a ten pound note. She takes it, doesn't move to the till though. He stares her down until she blinks and realises that there's a queue forming behind him, before moving very quickly to sort his change out. 

He takes the handful of coins she tips into his palm, shoving them all into his jeans pocket without checking it's correct. If it's not... well he doesn't really care. He grabs the two cups and escapes her scrutiny, darting as quickly as he can through past the queue and the table next to the counter, reaching Aaron's side. “Here,” he says, offering Aaron his coffee.

Aaron shoves his phone into his jeans pocket and smiles at him in thanks as he takes the cup. He leads the way back out, Robert following close behind him. As the door swings shut, muffling the noise of the cafe, Robert points at the tables out front. “Want to sit here?” He asks.

Aaron shakes his head then tips it to the left, silently asking Robert to follow him. Robert does, and they end up walking side by side around the cafe, then down the path between it and Brook Cottage, towards the village hall. Aaron doesn't stop once, walking with purpose all the way down past the hall, across the grass, towards and then over the wooden bridge across the river until they reach a wooden bench just beyond it. Aaron sits down, Robert dropping down next to him.

They drink their coffees, Aaron finishing his before Robert, fiddling with the cup in his hands as he waits for Robert to finish. Draining the last of it, Robert puts the empty cup on the ground next to his foot, making a mental note to pick it up before they leave, so he can put it in a bin. “Why here?” He asks, before remembering that Aaron can't tell him. “Sorry,” he says.

Aaron shrugs, looks at the field, then Robert, then back at the field and Robert understands. “The view?” He tries. Aaron nods. “It's peaceful here,” Robert observes, and Aaron smiles. “That another reason?” He asks, and Aaron nods again. 

“So you don't sign?” Robert asks a few minutes later. “Or you do, but I was so bad at it that I offended you?” 

Aaron shakes his head no, with an added snort, Robert assumes at the latter question but he has to be sure. 

“You don't sign?” Robert checks, and Aaron nods. “Why not?” He asks, curious. “I mean... would it not help, with your... Vic told me, by the way. That you don't talk, that you never have, not for years anyway.” He pauses, realises how intrusive that probably sounds as Aaron frowns at him. “Sorry. I only asked her because I was curious. Me, sticking my foot in it as usual, eh?” He tries to play it off casually, but he's almost sure he's just blown it. Asking weird, personal questions about a bloke whose only interaction with you had been dragging you out of a pub and shoving you up against a wall is... decidedly odd, now he thinks about it properly. 

Aaron shakes his head, and somehow, even without words, Robert knows that Aaron doesn't mind. “So how do you communicate with people then?” He asks. “If you don't mind me asking. You don't talk, you don't sign... do you just nod, shake your head and point at things?”

Aaron snorts, nodding his head before pulling his phone back out of his pocket. He taps on the screen for a few seconds before turning the phone so Robert can see it.

I write things down sometimes too, it says on the screen.

Robert laughs, he can't help himself. “But only when you have to?” He guesses, and Aaron laughs too, nodding in agreement with him. Robert does a double take. He didn't expect that Aaron could laugh, but apparently that is something he can do. It's a quiet laugh, but to Robert it's a beautiful sound, one to savour.

Aaron's phone buzzes in his hand, and he looks at it, then at Robert with a wince. “You have to go?” Robert guesses, and Aaron nods, apologetic. “See you later?” Robert asks as Aaron stands up. Aaron nods at him with another, soft, smile and leaves, his feet thunk thunk thunking as he jogs back across the bridge.

Robert leans down, picks up his empty cup, unable to stop the smile on his face.

*

Later that day Robert walks into the pub, hoping to catch a glimpse of Aaron. He's in luck; Aaron's behind the bar, serving. Robert hovers near the door, watching Aaron as he interacts with... Jimmy King, Robert realises it is as the man turns to the side. 

Aaron's pulling a pint for the last surviving King brother, and from his place by the door, Robert notices a marked difference in the way Aaron acts around the other man. He's closed off, guarded. Making only the bare minimum of eye contact. Literally doing his job, and little else. Jimmy doesn't seem unnerved by it, so Robert guesses that this is normal behaviour for Aaron. 

Very different to how he'd been a few hours earlier, Robert notes.

Jimmy gives Aaron the money for his drink and picks it up, disappearing off towards one of the booths at the back of the pub and Robert makes his move. 

Stepping up to the bar, he smiles brightly at Aaron. “Hiya,” he says. He watches as Aaron's whole demeanour changes in front of his eyes; a smile to match Robert's own on his face in greeting. “Pint please,” Robert asks, mindful of Chas, who has appeared from the back and is hovering only feet away. 

Aaron nods at him, maintaining eye contact for a few seconds before looking away and grabbing a glass to pour Robert's drink into. Robert waits, watching Aaron's arm muscles flex under the fabric of his long sleeved, black t-shirt as he pulls the pint. Aaron finishes, goes to put it on the bar top and Robert moves his hand just slightly too quickly to pick it up.

Their fingers brush.

They look at each other, and Robert swallows hard, picking up the glass as Aaron pulls his hand back, taking a sip before replacing it on the bar briefly while he digs the money out of his pocket. Using the change he'd gotten from the cafe earlier, he gives Aaron the right money and picks his drink up again, making his way over to the tables at the side against the wall, from which he has a good vantage point of the bar, and Aaron.

Taking another long sip of his pint, he watches Aaron as he interacts with his Mum. He can't hear what Chas is saying to him in low tones, but he notes that Aaron meets her gaze without any issue, and while he doesn't speak, he's nodding and shaking his head at intervals, acting much like he had with Robert while they were alone earlier. 

He watches as Chas smiles at her son, before going to serve a customer. “Oh, Aaron!” She says loudly a few seconds later. “Can you go change the barrel for me?” She asks, pointing at one of the pumps. Aaron nods at her and disappears off through the back.

Robert's halfway through his pint when Aaron reappears. A group of Dingles have arrived while Aaron was in the cellar; Zak and Lisa, with Sam and Belle. Robert watches with curiosity to see how Aaron acts around other members of his family beyond his Mum.

He doesn't.

Aaron sees them when he comes back into the bar and pretty much retreats, shrinking into himself slightly as he goes to the opposite end of the bar. He's trying not to make it obvious, that Robert can tell but it's very apparent that he doesn't want to go over to his family members. He glances at them a few times while Robert's watching, but doesn't make any attempt to go over and join in the conversation that Sam is leading. Something about a pheasant, from what Robert can hear.

Chas laughs along with the other Dingles, sorting out a drink for each of them and putting the money in the till. Robert watches from his corner as she realises Aaron's back up from the cellar and goes to her son's side, brushing her hand on his arm lightly. Aaron visibly relaxes at the touch, but doesn't make any attempt to join in when Chas goes back over to them.

Robert sips his drink, making a hmm noise in his throat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos! <333 I hope you like this chapter too. :)
> 
> Chapter Warning: Mentions of a suicide attempt.

Aaron sits on the sofa in the back room of the pub, contemplating Robert Sugden. He can't deny it, he's attracted to the taller blond.

Aaron knows that he's gay; has known that for years. Accepted it. After a... blip, as he likes to call it.

Can you call a suicide attempt a 'blip'? Probably not, he thinks, but if he puts any more thought into that... it brings up other things.

Things he'd rather forget ever happened.

Shaking his head to clear it, he returns his focus to better things. Tall, blond, leather jacket wearing better things.

Smiling to himself, he lets himself imagine, just for a moment, him and Robert together. A couple.

He wonders how his Mum would react. She doesn't even know that he's gay. No-one does. It's not like he can tell them, is it? Not properly. It's not really something that you write down, either. He's never acted on it anyway, never tried to pull anyone, anything like that.

Never even kissed a bloke.

Kind of hard to pull someone when you can't talk, after all. From his observations in the pub over the years, people generally want an actual conversation before they go off with someone.

Unless they're called Robert, that is.

Robert genuinely doesn't seem to mind that Aaron doesn't talk. His attempt at learning sign language was sweet, if ultimately pointless. There's just something about him though; something that makes Aaron relax, feel comfortable in a way that he doesn't around anyone other than his Mum, and to an extent, Diane when she's here.

Robert just seems to get him. Know what he's trying to say without taking ten minutes to guess like most people. It feels like it's meant to be.

He has to stop himself, he's getting carried away. He doesn't even know if Robert is interested in blokes. He's heard the stories of Robert's exploits over the years, sleeping with Katie while she was married to Andy, all the rest of it, before he left under a cloud, after that car crash.

He might not know whether or not Robert could be interested in him that way, but he does know that there's something between them. He felt it, the first time he made eye contact with Robert, and again a few days ago, when passing him that pint. Their fingers had brushed, and he'd felt a spark, he knows he did. He can't be mistaken.

Can he?

*

Due to having several appointments, finalising his dismissal from the White's company, Robert has been so busy the last few days that he's only been in the village to sleep at night, nothing beyond that, so he hasn't seen Aaron.

He knocks on the door of Keepers, hoping Vic is in. She answers the door a minute later, and he smiles at her. “Hiya,” he says. “Can I come in?” He asks.

“'Course you can Rob,” she says brightly, stepping to the side to let him past. She shuts the door behind him, following him into her living room. She sits in the squishy armchair, while he takes the sofa. “I've barely seen you the last few days,” she comments.

“Sorry,” he says. “Been busy. Had some final meetings and that, sort out paperwork for my old job, getting that severance package paid into my account, that sort of thing,” he explains.

She nods. “So, what's with the mid-morning visit then?” She asks.

“Can't I just want to see my little sister?” He says, feigning offence.

She snorts. “What is it Rob?”

He sighs. So much for a casual Q&A session. “I was just wondering about Aaron,” he says.

“Again?” She replies with a frown. “You asked me about him a few days ago,” she points out. “Why you so interested?”

He panics briefly; he doesn't want to tell her why he's interested. She doesn't know he's interested in blokes. No-one around here does. He doesn't think he has a problem with telling her, he's sure she of all people wouldn't react badly, but he's just not ready for that. Not yet.

So he thinks of an excuse instead. Something that sticks close to the truth. “I bought him a coffee, the other day,” he tells her. “An apology for having to drag me out of the pub, you know?” He adds in the lie. “We got... well not chatting, obviously but he seems like a decent bloke, you know? Just wanted to know a bit more about him, that's all.”

She considers him for a moment, before buying the half-truth. “What do you want to know?” She asks.

Robert pounces on the opportunity. “So he's been mute since Christmas 2008, right?” He asks.

“Just before then,” she corrects him. “At least. No-one knows how long he was like that before his step-mum dumped him here.”

“Dumped him?” Robert asks.

“Yep,” Vic confirms. “She dropped him off with Chas, then did a flit. No-ones seen her since.”

“What about his dad?” Robert asks.

Vic shrugs. “Never heard anything about him. Guess he did the same?”

“So you don't actually know?”

“No,” she says, shaking her head. “I don't think he's in the picture at all. He didn't even turn up when Aaron tried to...” she trails off, as if realising she's said too much.

“When Aaron tried to what?” Robert asks her, a horrible feeling settling in his gut.

“I don't know if I should tell you...”

“You can't just leave it at that Vic,” he says. “What did Aaron try to do?”

“He tried to kill himself,” she blurts. “In the garage, in Cain's garage.”

Robert closes his eyes. What the hell happened to you Aaron, he thinks. “Well he survived,” he points out, stupidly. “Obviously...”

“Yeah,” she replies. “Was touch and go for a bit, but he recovered. Chas barely managed to stop them from sectioning him. He wouldn't talk when he woke up,” she says. “So the hospital were trying to get him into therapy and all sorts, thinking it was to do with what he'd done. She only just managed to talk them out of it, from what Diane told me at the time.”

“Poor bloke.” Robert says, trying to sound nonchalant. Deep down, he's in turmoil. A suicide attempt? What happened to you Aaron?

“I think they tried therapy in the end,” Vic continues. “But it didn't make much difference, obviously.”

Robert nods. “He doesn't seem all that close to his family,” he points out. “I saw him in the pub the other day,” he explains when Vic looks at him in confusion. “He seemed fine with Chas, but then a few Dingles came in and he was avoiding them, stopped at the other end of the bar, wouldn't go near them.

Vic doesn't seem surprised. “He's not that close to them,” she tells him. “They look out for him, he's a Dingle, of course they do but they don't get it. The not-talking thing, it confuses them, they don't get it.”

“So they ignore him instead?” Robert snaps, unable to hide his disgust this time.

“I don't think it's quite like that,” Vic corrects. “Look, he's close to Chas, and him and Diane get on well enough, but anyone beyond that...” She shrugs. “He just keeps himself to himself.”

Robert nods, thoughtful.

*

“Aaron!” Robert shouts, jogging up the street to catch up with him.

Aaron's up by the pub, just about to turn down the side, towards the car park. Hearing Robert's shout, he halts, looking around. Robert catches up to him, and Aaron smiles.

“You fancy a pint?” Robert asks, grinning at Aaron. Aaron purses his lips, mulling it over before nodding. “Come on then,” Robert says, leading the way along the front of the pub, up the steps and inside.

“Two pints please Chas,” he asks as he reaches the bar. “You want to go get us a table?” He asks Aaron, who nods at him, heading off to the far side of the pub.

Chas pauses half-way through pulling the first pint. “You're buying my son a pint?” She asks him, regarding him with suspicion.

“What of it?” He asks her in return.

“You know he doesn't talk, right?” She says.

“I do,” Robert replies. “Don't worry, I can talk enough for the both of us,” he quips, grinning at her.

She frowns at him, finishes pulling the first pint and starts on the second, but doesn't otherwise comment.

For that, Robert is glad.

*

Chas goes into the back room of the Woolpack, sitting down on the sofa next to her son. Aaron looks at her, then at the door that leads through into the bar.

“Bob's covering,” she tells him, knowing what he's trying to ask. “You and Robert Sugden?” She says, getting straight to the point. He looks at her questioningly, and she elaborates. “Having a pint, together,” she says. “Him talking away, you paying attention, nodding, shaking your head. Smiling at him...” She pauses, takes a breath. “He's not good news Aaron.” She points out.

Aaron sighs, reaches for the notepad and pen that live permanently on the coffee table. He scribbles on it quickly, then hands it to her.

I like him. He's nice, the note says. Chas looks at Aaron with a raised eyebrow. “Robert Sugden, nice?” She says, incredulous. “Are you sure?”

Aaron huffs, snatches the notepad back, scribbles something else.

He gets me! Has been added to the bottom. She drops the pad into her lap, looks at her son, who looks back, an almost pleading look in his eyes.

She gives in. She always does. The fact Aaron is actually trying to make a friend is enough to sway her. It's not like he's ever done this before. Even trying to connect with someone else, she has to admit she'd thought it was beyond him. “Robert Sugden though?” She asks him. “Are you sure about this?”

He stares at her, and she raises her hands in surrender. “Alright, alright,” she says.

Robert Sugden it is then.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos! <3 Hope you enjoy this one!

Aaron takes a bite out of his burger. Chewing, he watches Robert, sitting opposite him. They're having lunch in the pub; his own suggestion. He'd been eager for them to spend more time together than it took to have a drink, and lunch seemed like a good idea. He'd written Robert a note on his phone with the suggestion, and Robert had agreed eagerly. Very eagerly, Aaron had noted.

Robert sits with his lasagne, Aaron with his own burger and chips. They eat in companionable silence until, suddenly, Robert reaches across the table, snagging one of Aaron's chips. Aaron looks down at his plate, then up at Robert open-mouthed. Robert grins at him, waving the chip triumphantly before shoving it in his mouth. Eats it, then sticks his tongue out at Aaron's look of indignation.

He looks so pleased with himself Aaron finds himself snorting out a short laugh. Robert grins at him, and Aaron shakes his head, quickly pulling his plate out of reach when Robert tries for another chip.

*

Their lunches in the pub quickly become a daily occurrence; one of them, usually Aaron, texting the other to arrange a time to meet, then they spend an hour or so together each day, eating lunch before Robert updates Aaron on the latest in his job hunt. It's proving difficult; sleeping with the boss's daughter, proposing marriage then proceeding to cheat on her... doesn't give grounds for a good reference, that's for sure. He'll sort something out. Hopefully.

Aaron isn't much of a texter; it seems to match that of his muteness. What he does say is short and to the point, no added extras, no random conversations.

Robert doesn't mind. He prefers Aaron's physical company, anyway.

*

Chas is wiping the bar down for the third time when Cain walks in. Jumping at the chance to do something that enables her to both keep an eye on her son, and look appropriately busy at the same time, she darts to the end of the bar. “Hiya,” she says brightly. “Pint?”

Cain nods. “Yeah, thanks,” he says. As she sorts it out, he glances around the pub, his gaze pausing on the table where Aaron is sitting with Robert. He looks at her with curiosity. “Didn't know Aaron and Sugden were mates,” he comments. “Didn't know Aaron had mates.”

“It's new.” Chas tells him, putting the pint on the bar top. She takes her brother's money and puts it in the till as he takes a long drink of the pint.

“New?” Cain asks, putting the glass back on the bar. “How long's it been going on?”

“Just over a week,” she says. “They've ate in here every lunchtime for about that long.”

Cain raises an eyebrow. “Sugden, though?” He says, his tone questioning. “You alright with this, sis?” Cain asks, looking over at the table, then back to her.

She sighs. “You know how long I’ve wanted him to make a friend?” She says. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted for him. Now, I might not… understand his choice, or agree with it...” She says, carefully. “But he’s trying, and they seem to be getting on well, so I’m going to keep my mouth shut.”

She looks over at their table, sees Aaron smiling widely at something Robert's telling him, and knows she's making the right choice.

*

Unaware that they're the topic of conversation at the bar, Aaron gets up when Robert does, following him out through the back of the pub and outside to the car park. Robert has a meeting to go to, and Aaron's on a promise to help his mum in the pub, so they can't spend any more time together today, unless Robert comes in for a drink after his meeting.

Aaron hopes he will, but Robert had told him that the meeting will probably run late, so he doubts it.

“Right, I'd best be off then,” Robert says, checking his watch. “Don't want to be late.”

Aaron nods at him. He takes a step back and away, only to find himself wrapped up in Robert's arms, an unexpected, but not unwelcome hug lending him warmth in the cool February air. While Robert has a jacket on, Aaron doesn't, and he shivers slightly, Robert tightening his grip as he does. Aaron breathes deeply, inhaling Robert's scent, filling his lungs with it as his arms come up to grip around Robert's back, resting lightly on his shoulder blades.

They stand like that for a little while, before pulling away from each other, coughing in unison to clear their throats.

“Right,” Robert says, the awkwardness thick in the air between them. “I'll see you tomorrow then?” He asks, sounding slightly nervous, slightly unsure.

Aaron nods, and Robert smiles, relaxes slightly before turning and heading off to his car.

Aaron watches him go, wrapping his arms around himself to try and stay a bit warmer, before going back inside once Robert's car is out of sight.

*

The next morning, Robert sits on the bed in his room at the B&B. Aaron is on his mind; he can't think about anything else. The hug he shared with Aaron yesterday... he wants more, craves more. More hugs, more touches... kisses too.

He doesn't even know if Aaron's interested. It's not like anyone seems to know which way he swings, sexuality wise. He hasn't heard anything about girlfriends, boyfriends... nothing whatsoever. Aaron could be asexual for all he knows.

He doesn't think so though; he's sure he saw a flash of lust in Aaron's eyes, a flicker of interest. He's sure he didn't imagine that.

Briefly, he imagines if they did get together. What would people think? What would his family think?

He quickly realises that he doesn't actually care. They can think what they like, he decides.

It's a strange feeling, not caring what his own family think of him and his relationship choices. He's kept his sexuality a secret for years out of fear of how they'll react, yet the thought of having Aaron, being with him...

Aaron seems to be making him do all sorts of things he never thought he could, without even trying.

*

Aaron sits on his bed, looking out of his window. It gives him a view down the back of the row of cottages, over their gardens. It's not a bad view, pretty private. He can see out, but no-one can really see him without him being aware of it.

Just how he likes it.

The hug he shared with Robert plays over and over again in his mind; he can't shake it.

Doesn't want to either.

Being held in Robert's arms had felt so gloriously good. He'd felt safe. Truly, completely safe for the first time in a very long time.

He wants more. So much more, but he doesn't know how to broach the subject.

This not talking thing is, for the first time, very, very annoying.

He sighs. Fuck it, he thinks to himself. You don't try Aaron, you'll never get anywhere will you?

He picks up his phone, steels himself, and sends Robert a text.

*

Aaron's leaning forward, his arms resting on the sides of the wooden bridge when Robert joins him. “Hiya,” he calls out. Aaron pushes himself up, turning sideways so he's facing him as Robert stops a foot or so away. “You weren't waiting long, were you?” He asks. Aaron shakes his head, and Robert smiles. “A bit early for lunch, and we're in the wrong place too,” he quips.

Aaron stares at him, and Robert shuffles from foot to foot, feeling incredibly awkward all of a sudden. He opens his mouth to speak, hasn't got a clue what he's going to say but-

Aaron lunges. That's the only way to describe it. He lurches forwards, Robert suddenly finding a pair of lips pressed against his own in a brief kiss.

Aaron pulls away, stepping back. A look of sheer terror is on his face, and he takes another step back as Robert stands there uselessly. He's about to bolt, Robert realises. He thinks he's done the wrong thing, and Robert can't, won't let this, their first kiss, be marred by a miscommunication.

So he does what he's wanted to do for over a week now.

Grinning, he reaches out, snags Aaron by his hoodie and pulls him closer, enveloping Aaron's lips with his own.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your comments and kudos! <3

The kiss deepens as Robert's hands come up to frame Aaron's face, Aaron gripping Robert's leather jacket for dear life. Robert's tongue slides into his mouth, and Aaron groans into the kiss, Robert following suit as their tongues twist together.

Lost in the kiss, Aaron doesn't know how much time passes before they pull apart, the need for air becoming overwhelming. They stand close together, breathing hard, breath intermingling as they gaze into each others eyes instead.

As first kisses go... that was pretty incredible, Aaron thinks. He feels dazed, overwhelmed... incredible.

He's pretty sure Robert feels the same, judging by his expression.

Aaron can't quite believe what's just happened. Can't believe he had the guts to just kiss Robert like that. His risk paid off, but still... he swallows hard as Robert reaches a hand up to stroke down his cheek, before resting it on his shoulder, gripping lightly.

“Well, that was... unexpected,” Robert says, smiling at him. “In a good way,” he adds as Aaron looks at him warily. “I'm... I'm er...” he trails off. Aaron stares at him expectantly and he takes a deep breath to continue. “I'm not exactly out,” he finishes and Aaron feels relieved. He already knew that, after all. “So can we keep this between us?” He asks. “Just for now. Until I've told my family?”

Aaron nods, but he can't hide his disappointment completely, and Robert notices. “You want to tell your Mum, don't you?” He guesses, correct as usual. Aaron nods, and Robert brings his other hand up to rest on Aaron's other shoulder, squeezing both lightly. “Alright,” Robert says. “We'll just have to ask her to keep it to herself, yeah?” He offers. 

Aaron nods, happy with that, although he has a whole new fear settling in now.

*

They kiss a few more times before making their way back up to the pub, walking side by side but not touching each other beyond the occasional brush of their shoulders together. They walk down the side, around the back to the door that leads directly to the stairs, and Aaron puts his hand up to stop Robert as he reaches for the door handle.

Robert frowns at him, and Aaron raises his hand, palm outward, asking Robert silently to wait. Folding down his thumb, ring and little fingers, he leaves just two pointing upwards, and Robert understands.

“I'll wait here for two minutes, yeah?” He says aloud, to check. Aaron nods, smiling at him as he reaches for the door handle himself, letting himself into the pub.

Chas is sitting at the dining table when he enters the living room, and he's relieved that he doesn't have to go looking for her. 

He's been working himself up about this the whole walk up from the bridge, he doesn't need the extra hassle of his Mum not being where he expects her to be. She looks at him, and he shuffles from foot to foot awkwardly. “Is something wrong, sweetheart?” She asks, getting up from the table and coming to stand in front of him, concerned. “Has something happened?”

He shakes his head no, steels himself and leans past her, getting the notepad and pen from the coffee table. He flips the card cover back, and writes on the top, blank page. There's something I need to tell you, he puts down, turning the pad to show her.

“What?” She asks, curiously.

He looks at her, stares at her for a long moment, and hopes that he isn't about to ruin things, hopes that this isn't about to go very very badly. He's terrified, that she'll hate him, that he'll end up losing her but at the same time... he has to tell her. He has to.

He braces himself. Turns the page over. Writes I'M GAY on the new page in big block capitals, hiding it from his Mum's sight while he does. He looks at the words, taking them in. Seeing it written down like that... it feels right. Feels like him. 

He knows he's doing the right thing telling her, he knows he is, so he hands her the notepad with only a slight hesitation.

She takes it from his fingers, turns it around so she can read it. Stares at it for a few seconds, just long enough to worry him, before he finds himself gripped tightly in her arms. The notepad digs sharply into his shoulder blade, but he doesn't care. She steps back, still holding him, her hands resting on his upper arms now, but she's far enough back that she can look at him properly, which she does as he watches. She smiles at him, a warm smile that sinks deeply into his very being, and he finds himself smiling back.

“What's brought this on?” She asks. “You telling me, I mean. Though I've suspected for a little while,” she says. He furrows his brows, confused and she laughs. “I found that magazine you tried to sneak into the bin,” she says knowingly.

Oh.

That magazine.

He blushes bright red, and she giggles at him again. “So?” She asks again. “What's brought this on?”

Robert picks that moment to come in, closing the door behind him with a click. Aaron turns his head, glancing at him as he walks over to stand next to him. He looks at his Mum, then to Robert, then back to his Mum again as he tentatively reaches for Robert's hand, taking it in his own, sliding his fingers between Robert's.

Chas's eyes widen as the penny drops. “Oh,” she says. “Oh...” She lets Aaron go, her hands dropping back to her sides briefly, before she puts one up to her mouth. “You two?” She asks.

Aaron nods. 

“Yeah,” Robert says. “We're together,” he says firmly, looking at Aaron. “I'd appreciate it if you'd keep it to yourself, at least for now,” he adds.

“Why?” She asks, voice hardening, her hackles raised immediately, protective instincts coming to the fore. “Why don't you want anyone to know? Are you ashamed of him?”

“No!” Robert snaps back quickly. “Never!” He softens. “I'm not, and I never will be ashamed of him,” he says to her, glancing at Aaron with a small smile. “I just... my family don't know,” he says quietly. “I'm not really ready to tell them either. They're all wrapped up with Andy, which is understandable... I need to pick my moment, that's all,” he says, looking at Chas earnestly.

“Is that the only reason?” She asks him, watching his face carefully.

He nods. “Yes,” he says. “I mean, I'm a bit worried about how they'll react,” he admits. “But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

“I'm sure they'll be fine Robert,” she tells him, softening.

He shrugs. “I daresay I'll find out,” he says. “I will tell them,” he repeats. “Just when Andy's doing better, you know? I need to find my moment.”

She nods. Pulling Aaron into another hug, she reaches across and grips Robert's wrist gently, runs her hand down his arm in a soothing, motherly fashion before stepping back again. Looking at the notebook, she carefully tears out the page that Aaron had written on, folding it up carefully and tucking it into her cardigan pocket. “So I can remember the day you got the courage to tell me,” she says to both Aaron and Robert's curious expressions. Smiling at them both one more time, she leaves the room, going through to the bar.

“You alright?” Robert asks him, once Chas is out of earshot. Aaron nods, but not very convincingly judging by the look Robert gives him in return. Aaron sighs, picks up the notebook from where his Mum had put it back on the coffee table.

It's not what you think, he puts down first, showing it to Robert.

“Okay...” Robert says. “What is it then?” He asks.

I've never kissed anyone before, Aaron writes below it on the page, handing it to Robert nervously.

Robert raises his eyebrows. “Well I wouldn't have guessed that, the way you lunged at me,” he comments, laughter in his voice. He's not mocking him, Aaron gets that straight away. He's just amused. Aaron takes the notepad back, writes something else.

I've never felt like this before, he scribbles, handing it to Robert one more time.

Robert reads the words, then looks at Aaron, his eyes soft. He leans in, pressing a kiss to Aaron's lips. “I've never felt like this before either,” he admits to him, before kissing him again.

*

The following day, Robert turns up early for his and Aaron's lunch 'date'. Bob's helping out behind the bar again, and Robert expertly ducks past him and through to the back room. “Hiya,” he says, seeing Aaron and Chas sitting at the table. Aaron looks up when he hears him, smiling and Robert goes over to join them, pressing a quick kiss to Aaron's lips before he sits down. “I know I'm early,” he says to Aaron's curious look. “But I've got a proposition for you,” he says.

Chas snorts. “Do I need to leave the room?” She asks.

Robert glances at her. “Not that kind of proposition Chas,” he says. “I have a reservation at a new restaurant in Hotten for tonight,” he says, turning his full attention back to Aaron. “I thought we could go?” He offers. “If you're up for it, obviously.”

“And what if he doesn't want to go?” Chas asks, pointedly.

“Then I'll cancel the reservation,” Robert counters. For all she'd seemed accepting of them yesterday, he should have known better. She's not going to make it easy for him. He's more than up for the challenge though.

Aaron's worth it.

Robert's phone buzzes a few seconds later, and once seeing that Aaron's got his own phone in his hand, he checks it to see a text from him. “I will pick you up at half six,” he tells Aaron. “Reservation's for seven.” He grins. “See you later,” he says, kissing Aaron again before he goes.

*

It's a nice table, that Robert has managed to get them. Near to the window but not so close that they're on display to the street as they eat, and the layout of the place means it's not crowded.

Robert looks at the menu, looking up to see Aaron doing the same. “You sorted?” He asks, as Aaron drops the menu back to the tablecloth. Aaron nods, and Robert catches the waiter's eye. He comes over, and Robert points to Aaron, to let him order first. Aaron points at the menu in a few places, the waiter writing on his pad, then it's Robert's turn. The waiter leaves, pausing a short distance away beside one of his colleagues.

Something makes Robert's ears prick, and he strains his ears to listen to what's being said. One thing makes him see red, and he apologises to Aaron. “I'll be back in a minute,” he says, getting up from the table.

*

Chas is waiting outside when they leave the restaurant, her car parked up down the street. “I wasn't expecting you back until late,” she comments. “And I thought you'd be making your own way back to the pub, not having Aaron text me barely half an hour after you left. What happened?” She asks.

Aaron looks at Robert pointedly, who stops in the middle of the street, not far from Chas. Aaron hovers halfway between the two of them. “We were having a nice time,” Robert tells her. “We'd ordered, then I overheard our waiter making a... comment, about Aaron.”

“What kind of comment?” Chas asks.

“You don't want to know,” Robert tells her. “I won't repeat it.” He sighed. “Anyway, I erm... might have pinned the bloke to the wall, and the manager might have gotten involved and threatened to call the police.”

Chas sighs. “Am I a getaway driver?” She asks. “'Cause if I am, we'd better get going.”

Robert shakes his head. “No, no, nothing like that,” he tells her. “A couple on a nearby table heard what the waiter said, they backed me up. The manager ended up apologising to Aaron, and the waiter... I'm pretty sure he's about to lose his job.”

Chas sighs. “Not the quiet evening you'd planned then,” she says dryly. “Come on then,” she says to them both. “Car. I'm sure Marlon will make you something when we get back to the pub.”

Aaron starts to walk to the car, and Robert makes to follow him, only to be stopped in his tracks by Chas. “I'm glad he's got someone looking out for him,” she says quietly. “I hope you're going to tell me later what the bloke said though.”

Robert nods. “I will,” he says to her. “Aaron didn't hear it in the first place, and I don't think he wants to know, that's why I didn't repeat it just now.”

Chas nods. “Right. Come on then,” she says, walking off down the street towards her car.

Robert follows.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, hope you're all still with me. :)

“Hey you,” Robert says as he walks into the back room of the Woolpack. He sits down next to Aaron on the sofa. “You alright?” He asks when Aaron doesn't look at him. Aaron nods, and Robert frowns. “I know it didn't go to plan last night,” he says. That's putting it mildly, he thinks to himself. “But I was thinking, we could try again? Somewhere else, obviously.” He asks, hopefully.

Aaron glances at him sideways before shaking his head no, pulling the sleeves of his jumper down to cover his hands. Robert touches his arm gently. “Is this just about last night, or is there something else?”

Aaron glances at him again before sitting forward, starting to reach for the coffee table. Robert leans across, grabbing the notepad and pen he knows Aaron wants, handing it to him. Aaron gives him a small smile of thanks before opening the notepad and scribbling on one of the pages.

He hands it to Robert. “You shouldn't have to deal with all of this?” Robert reads the words aloud. “All of what?” He asks, confused.

Aaron gestures to himself, then reaches over, holding the corner of the notepad with his left hand while he writes 'burden' on the bottom of the page with his right.

“What do you mean?” Robert asks him, horrified that Aaron could think that about himself. “You aren't a burden, why would you think that?”

Aaron shrugs, and Robert closes his eyes briefly. “Aaron,” he says, opening his eyes again. “You are not a burden, alright?” Aaron looks at him, and Robert puts a hand on his arm. “You aren't. I like you, I really, really like you and I'm damned if I'm going to let some idiot waiter ruin that for us, alright?” Aaron bites his lip, and Robert continues. “You think it's going to make me run or something, is that it?” Aaron shrugs again, and Robert shakes his head with a huff of laughter. “You're seriously underestimating my perseverance skills, you are,” he says with a grin. “I like you, and I'm in this no matter what, I want this, us, to work, so please, will you let me take you out to dinner?”

Aaron stares at him for a long moment, long enough to make Robert worry, before he nods jerkily. Robert smiles widely, kissing him softly. “Good,” he says. “I will sort something out. Tonight?” Aaron nods again. “Leave it with me,” he says, pulling Aaron into another kiss.

*

“See?” Robert says as he follows Aaron back through the door, into the darkened back room of the pub. Aaron flicks the light on, shrugging his coat off and chucking it over the back of the sofa. Robert leaves his leather jacket on, flopping down on the sofa beside Aaron. “Told you it'd be fine,” he grins.

Aaron wrinkles his nose, otherwise not reacting. Robert laughs at him. “Go on, admit it,” he teases. “You enjoyed yourself.”

Aaron makes a non-committal hum in his throat, and Robert grins. “I knew you did,” he says. Aaron shakes his head, unable to keep the smile from forming on his lips, and Robert leans in to kiss him. 

They'd gone to an Italian restaurant this time, one that had been recommended to Robert by a business contact. Good food, the best company in Aaron of course, and staff who hadn't made comments about his... boyfriend? Can he call Aaron that now? He's not quite sure.

Either way, it had been a very enjoyable evening, and he's not quite ready to go back to the B&B yet. “Want me to go get us both a pint?” He offers, nodding his head towards the door that separates the back room from the bar. 

Aaron shakes his head, leaning in to kiss Robert instead. “Mmm,” Robert moans as Aaron's tongue slides into his mouth.

*

Robert's hands slide up Aaron's back, under the soft fabric of his black jumper. Aaron's own hands are wandering too, Robert's leather jacket in a heap at the end of the sofa, fingers tracing Robert's ribcage both under and over his shirt. He's straddling Robert's lap, and they're grinding against each other a little as the kiss deepens further.

They're so lost in each other that neither of them hear the door opening. “Aaron love, can you change a- OH!”

They spring apart, Aaron jumping away from Robert to stand up. He's bright red, looking everywhere but at Chas, who is standing beside the door with her hands over her eyes. Robert doesn't know which one of them is the most embarrassed, but uses the opportunity to adjust his shirt, trying to hide the fact that half of the buttons are undone, and it's mostly untucked from his jeans.

“I erm, I was going to ask if you could change a barrel for me, but you're er... you're busy,” Chas says, eyes still firmly covered. “I'll sort it, don't worry.”

Aaron, ever the gentleman, darts across the room and lays a hand on his Mum's arm. She moves her hands away to look at him, and he shakes his head at her, looks over his shoulder to offer Robert a smile of apology, and disappears off to, Robert assumes, the cellar.

There's a brief moment of awkwardness when it's just him and Chas left in the room, and Robert clears his throat, trying not to make eye contact.

“I'll er... I'll just... yep, I'll go do that,” Chas stumbles over her words, before leaving the room very quickly.

Robert tips his head to rest against the back of the sofa with a heavy sigh.

*

They stumble through the door of Aaron's bedroom, Robert grunting as his back hits the doorframe, too lost in Aaron's lips to really care.

They get further into the room, Aaron kicking the door shut behind them both, reaching down towards the handle with the hand that isn't at the back of Robert's head. Robert hears a click, realises Aaron's locked the door. 

After Aaron had changed the barrel, he'd returned to the back room with determination, dragging Robert to his feet and leading him upstairs.

Realising that they need to talk about this, at least as best they can, Robert puts a hand on Aaron's chest, gently pushing him back to break the kiss. Aaron does, but looks at him with confusion. 

“Are you sure about this?” Robert asks him quietly. “Just, you know... you haven't, have you?” He says. “Done this before I mean.” Aaron shakes his head, and Robert touches the side of his face gently. “We don't have to go any further,” Robert tells him, and Aaron's frown, an upset, confused frown, makes him realise Aaron thinks he doesn't want to. “I mean, I do, of course I do,” he says quickly, and Aaron's expression brightens. “But there's no rush,” he tells him. “I'll wait,” he tells him. “Until you're ready.”

Aaron rolls his eyes at that, leaning in, kissing Robert hungrily. “I'm saying all the wrong things now, aren't I?” Robert says to him with a laugh, and Aaron raises an eyebrow at him, clearly in agreement. “You sure about this?” He asks him, needing to be absolutely certain. Aaron nods at him firmly, obviously, and Robert smiles. “If you want to stop,” he tells him. “You just let me know, yeah?”

Aaron nods quickly, before lunging at Robert, pressing their lips together, sliding his tongue into Robert's mouth.

Aaron takes the lead and Robert lets himself be pushed onto the bed, flat on his back with Aaron on top of him. Aaron makes short work of his remaining shirt buttons, the shirt itself yanked off of Robert's torso and thrown over Aaron's shoulder. Robert pushes until they're both on their sides, and slides his hands up and under Aaron's jumper, taking the material up and off, over Aaron's head. He pulls his lips away from Aaron's momentarily to gaze at Aaron's bare chest, shocked to see scars criss-crossing Aaron's belly. He looks at them, then up to Aaron's face. Aaron shakes his head, rolling onto his back and pulling Robert over him.

Bare chests pressed together, they rock against each other, still kissing. Aaron's hands slide into the back of Robert's jeans to explore and Robert groans. His own hands wander down into Aaron's pants, and Aaron gasps into his mouth.

They lose their jeans quickly, underwear following soon after, and are finally, blissfully, naked. Aaron lies under Robert, watching him with a trusting gaze. Robert, weight resting on his hands, hovers over Aaron, his outstretched arms keeping him at a distance enough to look at Aaron's naked body with appreciation. He licks his lips, leaning down to press a kiss to Aaron's. “You sure?” He asks again. “We can stop here if you want, we don't have to do anything else tonight.”

Aaron rolls his eyes at him, reaching up and pulling Robert down with a firm grip on his shoulders. Their dicks brush, and Robert groans loudly, Aaron gasping as he reconnects their lips.

Sinking into the kiss, Robert lets his hand trail down Aaron's chest to wrap around his cock. “You like that, do you?” He murmurs against Aaron's mouth as Aaron whines. Aaron spreads his legs, Robert finding himself between them, Aaron's thighs pressing against his hips. Taking a chance, he lets go of Aaron's cock, his fingers moving down further, touching Aaron's hole lightly. Aaron whines again, higher pitched this time, and Robert marvels at how vocal he is, despite the fact he hasn't said a word.

“You want to?” He asks, his fingers rubbing lightly. Aaron gasps again, breaking their kiss to nod frantically. He reaches to the side, scrabbling for the bedside table and the drawer. Reaching into it, he feels around before producing a bottle of lube, shoving it into Robert's hand as his legs come up to wrap around Robert's waist.

Robert reaches over the side of the bed, finding his wallet in his jeans. Showing Aaron the condom packet, he drops it on the sheets next to them and opens the lube, coating his fingers before reaching down, kissing Aaron firmly as he breaches him for the first time.

Aaron whines into the kiss, fingers digging into Robert's shoulders.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I hope you're all still reading, please let me know what you think. :)

Aaron opens his eyes. Blinking in the dim room, he briefly wonders what woke him, before realising with a jolt. He winces as a foot strikes the back of his left leg, turning his head to look at Robert, sound asleep behind him.

He frowns. Feeling Robert's leg shift back to kick him a third time, he parts his own legs, deftly trapping Robert's foot between them when he kicks forward. The errant foot now securely pinned, he smirks to himself. Job done.

It's only when he starts to shuffle around, trying to prevent the kicking machine that Robert seems to have become in his sleep, that he notices that there's a weight lying across his waist, and something underneath him.

He's wrapped in Robert's arms.

Considering that for a minute, he decides that he quite likes the feeling. It's...

Safe.

He feels safe. Something that he hasn't felt in well... he can't even remember how long. Years... ever since... no. Not thinking about that. Not now, especially not now.

Not when he's just had the most... incredible experience.

He didn't know it could feel like that. Had never even imagined that something could feel so good, so... so right.

He hadn't planned to have sex. He didn't wake up yesterday morning thinking 'todays the day', nothing like that. If he had... he'd probably have talked himself out of it by the time the time came, so to speak.

Fear and bad memories have that effect, after all.

But kissing Robert on the sofa last night... everything just fell into place. He wanted to. He really had wanted to, and... he smiles to himself at the thought, he wants to do it again.

And again.

And again for good measure. Can't have too much of a good thing after all.

He grins to himself as Robert stirs slightly at his back. Robert shuffles but doesn't wake, instead tightening his grip around Aaron, pulling him closer to his chest and tucking his head in against Aaron's neck. Robert's nose ends up pretty much in his ear, and Aaron tries not to laugh, snuggling himself down into Robert's embrace instead, letting himself doze off again.

*

The bright sunlight filling the room wakes Robert. Opening his eyes, he’s met with the sight of both the back of Aaron’s head, and the window beyond, curtains wide open; they’d been too distracted last night to close them.

Robert smiles to himself as he thinks about the night before. He’s had sex with a fair number of people in his life, good sex with a few of those but sex with Aaron?

Blew all of that out of the water.

He’s never felt like that, so good, so… he can’t even describe it. Incredible, amazing… no word seems enough. 

Perfect.

Perfect might be the only word close to right, but even that doesn’t feel like enough. It was beyond perfect, what he and Aaron had shared. Beyond perfection.

As if sensing that he was being thought about, Aaron turns in his embrace to face him. Their eyes meet; Aaron’s soft, half asleep gaze a contrast to Robert’s hungry one. “Hello,” Robert whispers, Aaron smiling at him in response. “You alright?” Robert asks.

Aaron nods, his smile growing wider and Robert lets one of his hands trail up and down Aaron’s back. “Last night was pretty… incredible,” Robert says. Aaron hmms in agreement, stretching not unlike a cat as Robert continues to stroke his hand down his spine.

Robert’s dick twitches, and he’s suddenly very aware that they’re both very naked. “You like that, do you?” He asks Aaron with a smirk.

Aaron hmms again, shuffling closer, brushing against Robert’s hardening cock. Robert groans, letting his hand wander lower.

Aaron’s hands snake around him, and he rolls them over, Robert landing on top of Aaron with a grunt. Aaron leans up, kissing him gently, chastely.

“So, boyfriend,” Robert says without thinking. “Erm,” he backtracks. “Sorry. We haven’t even…” He trails off, and Aaron looks at him, confused. “Boyfriend. We haven’t really discussed it. Is that… is that what we are?”

Aaron grins, pressing a wet kiss to Robert’s lips. “I’ll take that as a yes then,” Robert says. Aaron smirks, wrapping his legs around Robert’s waist and his arms around his shoulders, pulling him down flat on top of him. He’s hard, Robert feels it against his own cock, and he smiles against Aaron’s mouth as they kiss. 

He’s reaching for the lube when they hear a creak outside the bedroom door. Freezing in place, they look at each other with matching wide-eyed gazes. The footsteps fade away, and Robert breathes a sigh of relief. 

“We’re going to have to be quiet,” he says. Aaron raises an eyebrow at him, and Robert huffs a quiet laugh. “You might not have said any actual words, but you were NOT quiet last night,” he points out.

Still grinning, Aaron shrugs one shoulder, tightening his thighs around Robert’s waist as he pulls him back down into another kiss.

*

They walk into the back room together. Robert had assumed it would be empty, being almost midday after all (perfection can’t be rushed), but Chas is hovering in the kitchen. It looks like she’s been there for a while too, Robert thinks, judging by the small pile of magazines she seems to have accumulated. She adds another, before looking up and seeing them. Her eyes scan over Robert from head to toe, making him aware that she's noticed he’s wearing yesterdays clothes. He feels himself begin to blush.

Aaron, oblivious to his boyfriends sudden pause and embarrassment, pads over to the dining table, flopping down into the nearest chair. Chas gets up as he sits down, going into the kitchen. “Cuppa, either of you?” She asks.

“Sure,” Robert says, trying for a normal tone. He's not sure he manages it. She shifts her gaze to Aaron, who nods with a smile.

“Can you give me a hand, Robert?” She says, her tone meaning business. Robert joins her in the kitchen, fishing tea bags out and putting them in cups, before getting the milk out of the fridge.

While they wait for the kettle to boil, Chas looks at him pointedly again. “What?” He asks quietly.

“You stayed over?” She whispers, getting straight to the point. Robert nods, and she continues. “I didn’t think you were at that stage yet,” she says.

“Aaron wanted to,” Robert defends himself. “I didn’t push him.”

She looks at him carefully. “I know,” she says quietly. “You’re a lot of things Robert, but you wouldn’t do anything like that.” She pauses, glancing over at her son quickly. “He hasn’t been in a relationship before,” she says, looking at Robert again. “This is all new to him.”

“I know,” Robert tells her. “You don’t have to worry Chas,” he tries to reassure her. “This is all at his pace. I really really like him,” he confides. “The last thing I want to do is mess this up.”

“You’d better not,” she says, her tone suddenly incredibly serious. “Because if you do, I will end you.” She stares at him. “You got that?”

Robert nods. She's deadly serious, he knows that. “You don’t need to worry Chas,” he says. “I won’t hurt him.”

“Then we don't have a problem,” she says, a bright smile appearing on her face.

The kettle boils, and Robert is soon carrying two mugs over to the dining table. Putting one of them in front of Aaron, he drops a kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead, by his hairline, before sitting down himself.

Aaron looks at him with a soft smile, Robert mirroring it. As Aaron looks away again, picking up his cup of tea and blowing on it to cool it, Robert spares a glance up at Chas, who he’s pleased to see is watching them both with a fond smile of her own.

*

They decide to go for a walk after they finish eating; partly to avoid Chas, her fond smile has been starting to freak Robert out a bit, but mainly just to spend some time alone.

Wandering through the village with Aaron by his side is a nice feeling, Robert muses as they make their way back up towards the pub. They haven't been far, just down the road, across the wooden bridge where they kissed for the first time, pausing for a re-enactment on the way, then a wander around the field beyond before retracing their steps.

His hand itches to take Aaron's, to hold hands with his boyfriend in the street, let interlinked fingers show how they're together, arms swinging both freely, yet joined.

He resists the urge. He still doesn't know what his family will say. He hopes it won't be a bad reaction when he does tell them. He knows he's going to have to tell them at some point, it's just... finding the right time.

Also, finding his nerve.

That's going to be the hardest part, he knows that for certain. His own fears, the way his dad had reacted... it sticks. Makes things so much harder than they need to be.

Maybe he just needs to tell them, he thinks as he follows Aaron into the pub. Just blurt it out, just get it over with.

He'll think about it later, he decides, waiting beside Aaron for Chas to pull two pints. Right now, he's got something far more important to keep himself occupied.

Spending time with his boyfriend, he thinks, smiling at Aaron softly. Aaron glances at him, smiles back.

*

Chas stands behind the bar, watching her son and his boyfriend. 

Boyfriend.

She's not sure the novelty of knowing Aaron, her silent, shy son, has gotten himself a boyfriend will ever wear off, she thinks, smiling to herself as she observes the two of them from a distance.

They're on their second pint, Robert chatting away to Aaron animatedly, Aaron listening to him intently, looking at him like he hung the moon. He's smitten, she realises, the thought giving her a warm feeling inside. Watching Robert as he grins widely at Aaron, she realises the feeling is definitely mutual.

Robert Sugden though... Aaron can't half pick them. 

She's struck with the strangest feeling that one day she's going to end up with Robert for a son in law. The idea doesn't fill her with horror, she's surprised to realise.

He's clearly growing on her.

Shaking her head to clear it, she watches as Robert leans in, lost in Aaron's gaze, to press a kiss against his lips. It's brief, chaste but the smile that appears on her son's face when Robert pulls back is something she wants to see more often.

Yes, Robert's growing on her, but if he can make Aaron smile like that, then she's happy to let him.

“Since when's our Aaron gay?”

The voice shocks her, pulling her from her reverie, and she turns to the side, to see Zak standing at the bar.

Oh shit, she swears silently. Robert hadn't wanted anyone to know yet, she remembers. Thinking quickly, she takes the two steps to stand directly in front of Zak, leaning over the bar to whisper at him harshly.

“Yeah,” she confirms. She can't deny it, not after what he's just seen. “And if you say anything to anyone, I'll bar you,” she threatens. “Family or not.”

He looks at her, then beyond her to Aaron and Robert, sitting in one of the booths by the back windows. The expression on his face is guarded, and as he turns and leaves, she tips her head up to the ceiling, breathing out.

Making her second decision, she walks with purpose to the booth her son and Robert are occupying. Leaning down, she places her hands palms down on the wooden table, leaning close to them.

“What?” Robert asks, Aaron giving her a questioning look to match.

“Zak just saw you kissing,” she tells them. Robert winces, and she continues. “He knows. I warned him not to say anything but I don't know if he will or not.” She sighs. “I know you didn't want to tell Victoria or anyone yet but I think it'd be better coming from you, instead of them finding out from someone else.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos! <3 Sorry this one is so late, had an argument (well, several) with it and a lack of time didn't help either.
> 
> Warning for mentions of self harm in this chapter.
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think! <3

With an apologetic look, Robert leaves Aaron sitting in the booth as he leaves the Woolpack at speed, the only thought on his mind to get to Vic before anyone else does.

Emerging into the bright, early March sunlight, he blinks a few times, looking around quickly to see if he can see Zak. He spots Victoria instead, and winces. Praying that she missed Zak, he walks towards her. “Hiya,” he says casually. She gives him a strange look and fear grips him. Coming to a stop a few feet away from her, he forces some more words out, his tongue suddenly thick, his throat dry. “You alright?”

“You going to tell me what you've been doing?” She asks him, ignoring his question.

“What do you... what do you mean?” He replies, panic rising within him.

“I just saw Zak,” she tells him.

Game over, he thinks. He didn't even get the chance to tell her himself. “Vic...”

“He was all weird with me,” she continues, interrupting him. “He took one look at me and walked in the opposite direction, then you come out of the pub, so what have you said? Did you have an argument with him or something?”

He breathes a sigh of relief. She doesn't know. “No, no, nothing like that,” he tells her. He steels himself. “Can we erm... can we go to yours?” He asks. 

She frowns. “Yeah...” she says. “Why though?”

“Just want to talk to you about something,” he says with a disarming smile. “Nothing... bad... I promise.”

“Okay,” she replies. “I was going to go and see if Marlon needed a hand,” she says, pointing at the pub. “He was panicking about this big coach party we've got coming in tonight when I was in earlier to check the rotas.”

“I'm sure he'll cope,” Robert tells her. “It's Marlon, he panics, you know he does. It's his default setting.”

“True,” she says. “I'm sure he'll ring me if he needs me.”

“I'm sure he will.” Robert starts to walk towards Keepers. “So... can we?”

Victoria nods, following him across the road, then darting in front to unlock the door.

*

The spoon makes a high pitched clattering noise against the side of the mug as Robert stirs. Picking the two mugs up, he walks into the living room where Vic is sitting on the sofa waiting for him. 

He gives her her mug and sits down in the chair, blowing on his tea and sipping it. He knows he's just delaying things, but he can't help himself.

He needs to tell her. He wants to tell her.

He's just not sure how to word it.

They sip their tea in silence for a few minutes, Robert avoiding his sister's expectant gaze whenever it's directed at him until she, never the most patient person, puts her mug on the coffee table with a heavy thud, sloshing the tea up and over the side. She huffs at him, widening her eyes and pursing her lips.

“Are you going to tell me whatever it is you dragged me back here for or are we just going to sit here drinking tea?” She asks bluntly. 

He gulps.

Luckily, she seems to sense that he's nervous. “What is it?” She asks him, her tone soft, concerned. “Whatever it is, you can tell me? I know we've been apart but you're still my brother, you can talk to me.”

He takes a deep breath, looks at her carefully. Just rip the plaster off Robert, he tells himself. It'll hurt less if you just tell her.

She's looking at him expectantly, and mildly frustrated. “I don't want you to hate me,” he says. It's not what he'd intended to say, but he goes with it.

“Why would I hate you?” She frowns. “Rob, it would take a lot, and I mean a LOT for me to hate you. Whatever it is, we can sort it out, alright? But we can't if you don't tell me.”

“I'm bisexual,” he blurts, stopping her in her tracks. She stares at him wordlessly, and he continues, breathing shakily. “I like both. Women... and men.” He looks at her, terrified of what she's going to say, how she's going to react.

“Why would I hate you for that?” She asks him.

He shrugs.

“Oh Robert,” she says, getting up from the sofa and moving to sit on the arm of the chair. “You're a right idiot,” she tells him. “Why would I hate you for that?” She repeats, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him to her. His head comes to rest against her stomach, and he wraps one arm around her waist awkwardly, his mug of tea still in his other hand.

He lets her hold him, selfishly enjoying the comfort she's giving him. He should have known that she wouldn't hate him, wouldn't react badly to it. It's his own hang ups about his family and how they'd react that stopped him saying anything before, not Victoria herself.

“I don't get what this has to do with Zak though,” she says eventually. “Did he say something to you? Did he insult you or something?” He feels her tense up, like she's planning on going and confronting Zak Dingle, having a spat with the man on his behalf. The thought gives him a warm feeling inside, while being equally terrifying. His sister might be small, but she is mighty, that he knows.

He bites his lip. Rip the plaster off Robert, he tells himself again. “He saw me...” He trails off, takes a breath. “He saw me kissing Aaron,” he tells her. “In the pub.”

She leans away from him, and he looks up to see her peering at him with confusion. “Aaron?” She says. “Aaron Dingle?”

He nods. “Yeah...”

“He's gay?”

Robert nods. “Yeah,” he says.

“He doesn't talk,” she says next, stating the obvious.

“I had noticed,” Robert quips. “Like I told Chas, I talk enough for the both of us.”

“You must really like him.”

He nods. “I do,” he tells her, smiling. “I really do.”

“Then I'm happy for you,” she tells him, smiling brightly. “I'll have to come over, be introduced properly,” she says. “Or you can bring him over here. I could cook!”

Robert nods along, suspecting he looks a bit like a deer caught in headlights. Vic doesn't seem to notice as she stands up. “What does he like to eat?” She asks. “He's not allergic to anything, is he?” She turns to him, wide-eyed. “I don't want to poison him by accident, that wouldn't be a good start!”

Robert laughs. “I'll ask him,” he says.

“How does that work?” She replies, with genuine curiosity. “He doesn't speak.”

“He writes things down,” Robert says. “Good old fashioned pen and paper. Or his phone. Or my phone... we text.”

She nods. “That... makes sense,” she says. “Right. Find out for me. I need to plan!” She heads into the kitchen. “How to impress my brothers boyfriend...” she's talking to herself as she leaves the room. 

He'd been going to ask her how to broach the subject of his sexuality with Diane and Andy, but she's off in her own world, too busy planning what is starting to sound increasingly like a dinner party for him to even get a word in edgeways.

She sticks her head through the serving hatch behind his head and he nearly jumps out of his skin. “Well go on then!” She tells him firmly. “I need to know what he likes to eat!”

“We went to an Italian restaurant last night,” he tells her. “We both had lasagne, and judging by his reaction, you'd be pretty safe with that, alright?” She pouts at him, but he stands firm. “Don't make a big deal of it, yeah?” He says. “I don't want him freaking out if you cook a seven course meal or something.” He stands up himself. “Just... keep it simple.”

She nods. “Simple,” she says to herself. “Alright. I'll keep it simple. Nothing too fancy. Don't want to scare him off.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. “Thanks Vic,” he says, honestly.

She emerges from the kitchen, stops in front of him. “You going to tell Diane and Andy about you and Aaron?” She asks him.

He winces. “I don't know,” he replies. “I need to, but... I've barely spoken to Diane since I got back and Andy... well that hardly ended well the last time I saw him, not sure it's a good idea.” 

She winces. “Do you want me to tell them?” She offers. “Or be with you when you do?”

Robert considers it. “Can I think about it?”

She nods. “'Course,” she says, smiling at him. “Just let me know if you need me as either messenger or human shield,” she jokes. 

He chuckles. “Thanks Vic.”

*

He'd gone in the front of the Woolpack, via the bar, but on seeing no sign of Aaron or Chas, heads through to the back room.

Aaron's on the sofa when he goes into the room, Chas at the table surrounded by paperwork. As soon as he lays eyes on him, Aaron's on his feet, approaching him before opening his arms, tentatively offering a hug. He steps into his boyfriends waiting arms, pressing his nose into Aaron's shoulder as they hold each other tightly.

They pull apart after a few long moments, sitting down next to each other on the sofa. Aaron's expression is a mix of worry and curiosity, and Robert is quick to explain what happened. “It went well,” he tells him. Chas is listening from her seat at the table. “She's invited us both around for dinner,” he tells Aaron, who smiles at him. “If you want to go, obviously,” he says.

Aaron nods with a snort. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he types something in the notes and shows it to Robert.

“As if I'd pass up free food,” Robert reads from the screen, starting to laugh. “Yeah, you're right there,” he teases. Aaron sticks his tongue out at him, turning the phone back to himself and typing something else.

Andy and Diane? The phone reads when Aaron shows it to him again, and Robert swallows.

“She said she could tell them for me, or she'd go with me when I do,” he tells him. “A human shield,” he says, shaking his head. “I don't know what to do,” he continues. Aaron watches him with quiet concern, and he gives him a small smile. “Vic... Vic was one thing. I pretty much knew she wouldn't react badly but Andy and Diane... Andy especially...” He trails off. 

Feeling a light touch to the back of his hand, he turns it over, letting Aaron link their fingers together. “I know, it's none of their business,” he says to Aaron's pointed look. “I just can't help it, I care what they think of me.” Aaron maintains his expression, and Robert softens. “Alright, alright. Yes, they aren't worth bothering with if they react badly, I know,” he says. Aaron nods firmly, and Robert squeezes his hand. “They're still my family though,” he says. “I don't want them to hate me.”

The chair scrapes on the floor as Chas pushes it back to stand. “I'm going to... yeah...” she says awkwardly, leaving the room.

Robert waits until the door clicks shut behind her before returning his attention to his boyfriend. Aaron looks worried, and Robert knows he needs to reassure him. “It doesn't change this, us though,” he says. “No matter how they react. I'm with you, and if they don't like that then...” He shrugs. “That's their problem.”

Aaron squeezes his hand, standing up and pulling Robert to his feet. Robert lets himself be led out of the back room into the hallway and up the stairs, through into Aaron's bedroom. Once there, Aaron kicks off his trainers, letting go of Robert's hand to go and sit on his bed. Robert toes off his own shoes and joins him, Aaron lying down on his back, tugging Robert down with him and arranging him so he's lying tucked against Aaron's side.

It's a strange feeling; he's taller than Aaron yet he feels smaller, knees bent up, head resting on Aaron's shoulder, arm across Aaron's stomach. Aaron's fingers are running through his hair, teasing all the wax out of it as they work. He'd thought, when Aaron had brought him up here, that Aaron was wanting sex, but he realises that that isn't what he's here for.

Aaron's offering him quiet, and comfort, nothing more.

There's no expectation, he doesn't want anything from him other than... himself and that...

He knows that at some point in the future, when he thinks about just when he fell in love with Aaron Dingle... it would be this moment right here. 

He closes his eyes, and they lie like that for a long while, quietly relaxed in each others presence. Aaron's hand is still running through his hair soothingly, and he's stroking his own hand across Aaron's belly when he feels the slightly raised lines through his boyfriend's t-shirt.

Remembering what he'd seen the night before, he decides to ask about it. “You have scars,” he says. “On your stomach.” He lifts his head slightly, sees Aaron watching him, his expression unreadable. “You did it yourself, didn't you?” He realises. “Self harming?”

Aaron nods once, quickly, jerkily.

“You don't do it anymore though?” He asks. “The scars... they looked old.”

Aaron nods again. 

“Why?” Robert asks, curiosity taking over. “Why did you do it?”

Aaron looks away.

“You don't want to say?” Robert asks. Aaron shakes his head. “Maybe one day?” He asks him, reaching up with his hand and gently turning Aaron's head so he can meet his gaze. 

Aaron stares at him for a moment, contemplating, before nodding once.

One day.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos! <333 Please keep letting me know what you think!
> 
> Warning for a small amount of biphobic language in this chapter.

Aaron's already awake when Robert opens his eyes. Aaron's fingers are resting at the back of Robert's head, as he looks up to see his boyfriend watching him with soft eyes.

They're still in yesterdays clothes, he realises; they'd fallen asleep lying against each other, the way Aaron had arranged them the night prior.

He pushes himself into a semi-upright position, yawning as he does. Aaron sits up too, getting up from the bed and reaching for Robert's hand. Robert lets himself be pulled to his feet, following Aaron willingly out of the bedroom door, across the landing and into the bathroom. 

Aaron closes the door behind them, turning the lock with his free hand as he manoeuvres Robert around to face him. Robert raises an eyebrow as Aaron looks him up and down, before attacking his shirt, unbuttoning it from top to bottom swiftly, and quickly. Aaron goes for Robert's belt next, and Robert lets himself be undressed. Aaron clearly wants to do all the work, for now at least, so Robert steps out of his jeans when they're shoved down, boxers too and he's soon standing stark naked in front of a fully dressed Aaron.

His cock twitches, hardening and Aaron smirks, reaching over and turning the shower on before unceremoniously shoving Robert under the spray. It's freezing cold, and Robert gasps and splutters, grabbing frantically at the tiles in his haste to alter the temperature. The water starts to warm up and he glares at Aaron, who is giggling at him. 

Yes. Giggling.

Robert can't be annoyed at his boyfriend for too long when he looks like that when he's giggling, after all. “You just going to leave me in here on my own then?” He asks, waggling his eyebrows in a valiant, very soggy attempt at seduction.

Whether his shit seduction attempt worked or it was Aaron's plan all along, he's soon being treated to Aaron removing his own clothes, hoodie, then t-shirt, then jeans and everything else.

It's far from a striptease, but Robert finds himself staring regardless. He can't help himself; he's had a lot of people in his bed in his not quite twenty nine years, had a fair few seduction techniques played out in front of him, yet somehow...

Somehow... watching Aaron hopping on one leg while trying to get his jeans off turns him on more than anyone else ever has.

His boyfriend finally rids himself of the offending articles of clothing, boxers too and is gloriously naked, standing on the bathroom floor for all of five seconds before Robert's reaching out, grabbing him and pulling him under the spray.

He spins Aaron around, pressing him firmly against the tiles, chest to chest, wet skin pressing together, hard cocks rubbing against each other. “I'm in charge now,” he growls. Aaron whines as Robert covers his lips with his own, fingers greedily grabbing at Aaron's thigh, pulling his leg up and around his waist.

*

Aaron’s walking a little bit stiffly when they get back into the bedroom. They had been rather… enthusiastic, Robert muses. He wonders idly about switching positions, if Aaron'd be up for it anyway. He loves having Aaron under him, loves being inside him but he's not adverse to bottoming, and he'd certainly like to with Aaron.

Aaron turns to look at him from where he is, standing by the chest of drawers and Robert can’t resist pulling him into a kiss. Their lips slide together wetly, Robert holding the back of Aaron's head with one hand, the other trailing down to the towel that's wrapped around Aaron's waist, a mirror of his own. Aaron's hands are resting against his bare chest, fingers starting to explore and Robert is just beginning to step backwards, to lead Aaron to the bed when his boyfriend pulls back, breaking the kiss. Robert pouts, leaning in for more but Aaron dodges, shaking his head and getting a t-shirt out of the drawer.

Tugging it over his head, he grabs another, chucking it at Robert. It hits him in the face and Robert grumbles. “We could have gone back to bed y'know,” he says, putting the t-shirt on anyway. Aaron snorts, looks over at the clock pointedly. “Ah,” Robert says, seeing that it's almost eleven. “Late breakfast? Very late breakfast?” He asks. Aaron nods, the towel hitting the floor as he puts a pair of boxers on, holding another pair out for Robert to take.

Robert takes the hint, the borrowed boxer shorts giving him a little thrill when he pulls his own pair of jeans up over them. He ends up dressed in more of Aaron's clothes than his own; a pair of socks completing the set, and he follows Aaron down the stairs a few minutes later, only the jeans and shoes he's wearing actually belonging to him. 

Chas is pottering around in the kitchen when they enter the room. She raises an eyebrow at Robert's clothes, but otherwise doesn't say a word, boiling the kettle without asking. “Toast?” She offers. Both he and Aaron nod, and she shoves some bread in the toaster for them.

She disappears off into the bar, coming back when they're both sat down at the table, munching on toast in unison. “Don't know where the hell that delivery is,” she says. “He should have been here hours ago.”

Robert swallows his mouthful of toast before speaking. “The brewery not know where he is?” Robert asks.

She shakes her head. “They're chasing him up,” she tells them, Aaron looking up in interest too. “But they've been saying that for the last hour so god only knows what they're doing.” She sighs heavily, sitting down at the table. “So,” she says brightly. “You got plans today, you two?” She asks.

Aaron shakes his head when she looks at him, so she turns to Robert. “I need to go up to Wylies,” Robert says. “Go and tell Andy and Diane before someone else does.”

Chas nods. “It'll be fine,” she says.

Robert snorts. “Yeah, I doubt that,” he replies. “I'm taking Vic as a human shield though,” he says wryly. “Think I'll need all the help I can get.”

“It'll be fine,” Chas repeats. A shout echoes through from the bar and she darts to her feet. “I think that's my delivery,” she says hopefully. “Bloody better be,” she adds. She puts a hand on Robert's shoulder before she leaves, squeezing gently, firmly. He glances up at her in thanks, and she leaves the room.

Turning his attention to Aaron, Robert sees his boyfriend watching him with a fond smile. “You think the same as your Mum?” Robert asks. Aaron nods, and Robert sucks air through his teeth. “I wish I had the same faith the two of you do,” he says. “Diane... she'll probably be alright but Andy?” He scoffs. “He already hates me.”

Aaron stands up, coming around the table to stand next to Robert's chair. Putting his arms around Robert's shoulders, he gives him a tight hug, Robert clutching at his waist in return. 

They break apart, and Robert stands up. “Alright,” he says. “Gonna go grab Vic, get this over with.” He winces. “Wish me luck?” He asks with a nervous chuckle.

Aaron smiles at him, standing up on his tiptoes to kiss Robert on the lips. “Even better,” Robert quips, unable to stop the smile spreading on his face.

He feels better as he heads out through the pub, Aaron trailing after him briefly, stopping to help Chas sort out the delivery. Glancing back at the two of them before he leaves, he takes a deep breath, seeing Aaron look up at him with pride in his eyes. Robert smiles back, a confident feeling in his gut.

He can do this.

*

The confident feeling didn't last.

“So you're gay now?” Andy says, shaking his head. “All those women? Katie?” He scoffs.

“I'm not gay,” Robert replies shortly, snappily.

“Yet you've just told us that you're with Aaron, and last time I saw him he's a bloke, so...”

“I'm bisexual,” Robert tells him. “I like both.”

Andy rolls his eyes. “'Course you are,” he says, his face twisting. “That's you all over isn't it? Got to have everything, haven't you?” He shakes his head at Robert with disgust before storming out, the door slamming behind him. Victoria winces at the sound from her position at Robert's side.

“He's just upset over Katie,” Diane says, optimistic. “He'll come around when he's calmed down.”

“Why are you making excuses for him?” Robert snaps. He's upset, and it's not Diane's fault, not really but he can't stop himself. “You're always making excuses for him.” He sighs, shaking his head in defeat. “I've had enough,” he says, turning towards the door. “I'm going.”

He makes it two steps before her hand is wrapped around his arm. “I'm sorry Robert,” she says. “I'll talk to him, make him see sense,” she offers. “I'm sure when he's calmed down he'll be more rational.” She lets go of Robert's arm, wrings her hands together. “It's just a shock, you see and he's already upset...”

“There you are again,” Robert snaps at her. “Making excuses for him, again!” He shakes his head. “Don't bother,” he says, stepping towards the door. “Just... don't bother.”

*

“Robert, wait!” Vic shouts after him as he strides towards his car. 

He pauses by the drivers door, turns on his heel to face her. “What?” He asks, resigned to the lecture he's sure is coming.

However, his sister surprises him. “I'm sorry,” she says.

“What for?”

“Our insensitive, ignorant prat of a brother?” She replies, pulling a face. “Diane too, for making excuses for him.”

“It's not your fault,” Robert tells her. “You shouldn't have to apologise for them.”

“No,” she says. “I know that. I just...” she trails off, sighs and shrugs her shoulders. “Don't really know what else to say, do I?” She finishes.

“It doesn't matter,” Robert says sadly.

“It does,” she argues. “Are you alright?” She asks.

“I'm fine,” he tells her. He's not. He's really really not but he can't tell her that. 

She raises an eyebrow, not believing him. “You aren't,” she points out. “I can tell.”

“Honestly Vic, I'm fine.” Maybe if he says it enough, she'll believe it. Or it'll become true.

Hopefully both.

She seems to realise that she's not going to get anywhere, and changes the subject instead. “Will you and Aaron still come for your dinner tonight?” She asks. “I mean, I'd planned for enough for five of us but that just means there's all the more to go round.”

Robert winces, remembering. “I forgot to ask him Vic, I'm sorry,” he apologises. “I'll ask when I get back,” he promises. Glancing up, he sees Andy in the distance. “Now can we just go please?” He asks, wanting to get as far away from Wylies as possible, as soon as possible.

Vic turns to look where Robert had, seeing Andy for herself. “Yeah, come on then,” she says, walking the remaining distance to the car and getting in the passenger side.

Robert takes one last look at his brother before getting in the car himself, starting the engine with a roar and swinging the car around, speeding off through the gate and away, blinking unshed tears from his eyes as he does.

*

Aaron is keeping his Mum company behind the bar, helping out when she needs him to, when Robert returns, and he only needs to take one look at his boyfriend to know that the visit to Wylies hasn't gone well.

As Robert rounds the bar, heading silently through to the back room, Aaron gives his Mum a look. She nods, having clearly seen Robert's facial expression herself, and he jogs through to the back room in Robert's wake.

Robert is standing in the middle of the room when Aaron gets there, looking as lost and forlorn as he's ever seen him, both hands moving from his hair down his face, pressing hard.

Aaron crosses the room quickly, pulling Robert to him and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. It takes seconds for Robert to break down, burying his head in Aaron's shoulder as he cries quietly. Aaron can do nothing but hold Robert tighter, unable to voice words of comfort so he rubs a hand up and down Robert's back instead. 

He hears footsteps behind him, and his Mum's voice cuts through the silence. “What happened?” She asks.

Robert lifts his head from Aaron's shoulder, sniffing. Aaron moves the two of them to the sofa, sitting as close to Robert as he can, keeping his arm around Robert's shoulders, the other hand on his leg, trying to comfort him as best he can as Robert starts to speak.

“Andy didn't react well,” Robert tells them both. “He said some things... stuff about me being Bi.” He pauses, breathes shakily. “How I want 'everything'... things like that.” He pauses again momentarily. “Then Diane goes and defends him,” he says, anger fighting for dominance over his upset. “Says he's 'upset' over Katie and he'll calm down...” He shakes his head. “She always sides with him,” he says. “No matter what. I should have known better.”

Chas moves to sit on Robert's other side, laying a hand on his shoulder. “This isn't your fault,” she tells him firmly. “Andy shouldn't have said any of those things and Diane... well I'll be having words with her,” she declared.

“No, no,” Robert tries. “Just leave it Chas, I don't want to cause problems between you.”

“It's not causing a problem,” Chas says firmly. “Diane did that herself. I'm just going to let her know my feelings on the subject.”

“Chas...”

“No buts,” she tells him. “You're with my son, and that makes you family. I don't take kindly to people upsetting my family, no Dingle does. Leave it to me.”

He swallows thickly, realising that he's somehow managed to integrate himself within the Dingle family. He's not sure how he feels about that, but the smile Aaron has on his face when he glances at him means so much.

He glances between Aaron and Chas, smiling a little when the latter pulls him into a hug, Aaron getting dragged into it too, the three of them sitting on the sofa holding each other.

It feels nice, having a family, he thinks to himself.

*

Robert knocks on Vic's door three times before looking back at Aaron and Chas, standing just behind him. Aaron hadn't taken much persuading to come when Robert had finally remembered to ask; a quick text saying how he'd never turn down free food gave Robert a chuckle, and asking Chas after that felt right.

“Hiya,” he says as Vic opens the door, flour coated apron covering a nice dress. She's clearly gone to a bit of effort and it makes Robert feel warm inside. “I asked Chas if she wanted to come, I hope you don't mind?” He asks, mentally crossing his fingers.

“No problem,” Vic says brightly, smiling widely. “Hi Chas, Aaron,” she says as they both follow Robert inside. “I'll just... erm,” she says, pointing towards the kitchen where Robert can hear a timer beeping. “It's nearly ready, if you want to go through I'll be there in a minute.”

“Brought some wine,” Chas says, showing Vic the bottle. “Is that alright?”

“Perfect,” Vic replies. “I'll get some glasses,” she says.

“Just show me where they are, I'll get them,” Chas tells her. Vic nods, leading Chas into the kitchen. The timer stops beeping a few seconds later, and Robert goes into the living room closely followed by Aaron, to see the table set neatly, almost fancy by the window.

*

Dinner was pleasant; conversation had flowed well, between three of them at least. Aaron had sat, quietly attentive while he ate the meal, a beautifully presented and incredibly tasty lasagne. 

Chas is stacking dishes neatly next to the kitchen sink when Vic comes through with some more of them. “That's the last of them,” she tells Chas, turning to lean back against the worktop, watching through the open serving hatch into the living room.

Chas stacks the last of the plates and mimics Victoria, watching her son and his boyfriend as they interact, still sitting next to each other at the table. Both of them had offered to help with the clearing up, but had been overruled by both Chas and Victoria. Glancing sideways, Chas smiles to herself.

Seems like Vic had the same idea as her; come through into the kitchen so they can observe Robert and Aaron from afar.

“He seems to know what Aaron wants without Aaron even having to work out how to ask,” Victoria points out.

Chas nods. That had happened twice during the meal; first of all when Aaron had wanted some more wine. They'd exchanged a single, simple look and Robert was reaching for the wine bottle, topping up Aaron's glass without a word. The second time was when Aaron had wanted the last portion of lasagne. Robert must have seen him glancing at the dish or something as neither Chas nor Vic had noticed anything until Robert was reaching across the table, picking up the dish and setting it down by Aaron's plate, Aaron dishing up the remainder of the food onto his plate as Chas and Vic had a conversation, wine glasses in hand, both of their plates empty and both women content to leave them as such.

“Yeah,” Chas says. “You know... your brother is not who I would have picked for Aaron, given the choice,” she muses. “Sorry,” she says quickly, glancing at Vic who shrugs one shoulder with a half smile. “But you know what?” She adds, watching the two of them as they sit on the sofa, heads close together, Robert saying something to Aaron quietly. “He's so good for Aaron? He just... he just gets him, they seem to have just clicked and he makes my son happy, I've never seen Aaron smile as much as he has these last few days so for that, for that I can't say a word against him.” She smiles at Vic. “Aaron's happy, Robert makes him happy so that makes me happy, and that's all I need.”

Vic smiles back, knocking her shoulder into Chas's before they both laugh, tearing their gaze away from the two men in the living room as Vic picks up a bottle of wine from the side, showing it to Chas who nods, reaching for the glasses.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments! Please keep letting me know what you think (and that you're still reading!)! <333

Robert wanders into the back room, stretching. His body aches pleasantly; he'd mentioned to Aaron about them switching places and Aaron had been more than happy to top him.

He smiles to himself, thinking about it. Aaron's still asleep upstairs, and he starts to wonder if he's got time to make his boyfriend some toast and take it up to him before he wakes.

His toast plans are soon put on hold though, as he sees Chas sitting at the table, surrounded by paperwork with her head in her hands. “You alright?” He asks.

She glances up at him, staring at him blankly for a moment before shaking her head. “Not really,” she says.

Robert frowns, walks over to the table. It's covered in bank statements and what looks like the accounts for the pub. “What's wrong?”

She sighs, folding her arms. “I went to speak to Diane this morning,” she tells him. Robert glances at the clock. It's gone ten; he hadn't realised it was that late. He turns his gaze back to Chas as she continues to speak. “I er... I had words with her about what happened with you and Andy yesterday,” she says.

Robert winces. “I was hoping you weren't going to do that,” he tells her. “You ended up arguing with her, didn't you? Have you fallen out?” He sighs. “Because of me?”

Chas pulls a face. “She wants to sell her half of this place,” she tells him bluntly.

Robert's eyes widen, and he all but collapses into the nearest chair, running his hands down his face before leaning forward, resting his elbows on the tables edge, his chin in his hands. “Chas...”

“It's not your fault,” she's quick to tell him, even though he doesn't believe her. He raises an eyebrow at her. “It isn't,” she repeats. “She came up with it too quickly. I don't know, I think she's been thinking about it for a while, just hasn't said anything what with everything that's been going on.”

“You think?” Robert asks. “You aren't just saying that?” A large part of him hopes that it isn't his fault, but the rest of him, the ingrained part that always, no matter what, thinks it's his doing, can't believe that.

“I saw her looking at the books a few weeks ago,” Chas admits. “She said she was sorting them out but I'd already done that, and when I said that to her she got all flustered.” She shrugs. “Either way, it doesn't help me.” She sighs heavily. “I can't afford to buy her out, which means I'm going to have to hope to find someone who I get on with, and can live with since they'll probably want to move in here too... and with Aaron too... oh god,” she puts her head in her hands. “He doesn't deal with new people well, you are an exception to the rule,” she tells him. “He's not going to like this. He's lived here with me and Diane for years, he's settled, he was as happy as I could get him, happier now obviously with you but... you know? Now all that's going to be messed up again.”

Robert doesn't need time to consider things, he reacts on instinct. “I'll buy it,” he blurts.

“You'll... you'll what?” Chas says, shaking her head as if to clear it. “With what?” She asks.

“I got a good payout from my last job,” Robert tells her. “I was high up and they wanted me to go quietly, so they threw money at me to make sure I left with as little fuss as possible.”

“As little fuss as... what did you do?” Chas asks him, incredulous.

He coughs nervously. “I was erm... I was dating the daughter of the owner of the company,” he tells her. “I was engaged to her, actually. More her idea than mine,” he tells Chas. “Anyway... it wasn't right, I wasn't happy, I was with her for the wrong reasons and I cheated on her. She found out and went running to her father, who made sure I wasn't going to be anywhere near her again.” He meets Chas's gaze. She doesn't look as shocked as he'd expected. “You aren't surprised?” He asks.

“With you?” She laughs. “Never. I know what you're like, remember?”

“But you aren't... I mean I'm with Aaron. You aren't going to warn me off him, or vice versa?” He's genuinely frightened that she will.

“No,” she tells him. “For one reason,” she continues. “Because I see the way you are with him. I don't think you'd ever want to hurt him,” she says. “I believe that, so I trust that you won't. But,” he tone darkens. “If you ever do... I'll string you up.” She stares him down.

“I won't,” Robert says honestly. “But... noted.” He says, with a small smile. Chas's fierce protectiveness over Aaron is good to see. Aaron needs as many people in his corner as he can get, Robert knows that, and while he might only have himself and his Mum, and probably Victoria too, the three of them together make a pretty formidable defence squad, that he knows for sure.

Chas smiles back. “So. You can afford it then?” She asks him, changing the subject back to the pub.”

“Yes.” He replies. “It doesn't have to change anything,” he adds. “I'm not expecting to move in or anything, or change anything. I can be a totally silent partner if you want, you can run things your way or I can help out... it's up to you. But you know me, and like me... I think. Aaron knows me, and it'll be easier on him this way.”

“You're right,” Chas says. “It would be easier...”

He bites his lip. “I just want to help you out,” he tells her. “I feel like it's my fault, at least in part and I want to make things right.”

“Alright,” she says. “We'll have to check with Aaron though, this involves him after all.”

Robert nods. “Do you want to, or me, or...?”

“You can ask him,” she tells him with a smile. “Just try not to spend the whole of the rest of the day celebrating if he says yes,” she says with a knowing look.

He blushes furiously, ducking his head. “Noted,” he mumbles, getting up quickly, forgetting all about his toast plans as he escapes the room as quickly as possible, making for the stairs and the relative safety of Aaron's bedroom.

*

Aaron's sitting up when Robert enters the bedroom. “Hey,” Robert says. “You're awake.”

Aaron nods, his smile quickly turning to a frown when Robert sits down on the end of the bed, a serious look on his face. He tilts his head slightly, silently asking Robert to tell him what's wrong.

“Nothing's wrong,” Robert reassures him. “Well, not anymore, anyway.” Aaron's frown deepens, and he starts to explain. “Your Mum went to see Diane this morning,” he tells him. “About what happened with me up there yesterday. Anyway, I don't know exactly what was said but they had 'words',” he says with air quotes. “And erm, Diane said she wanted out. She wants to sell her half of this place.”

Aaron's eyes widen, and he puts his hands up to his mouth.

“Don't worry though, I've sorted it,” Robert says. “Well... with your approval I have anyway.” Aaron is looking more confused by the minute. “I offered to buy Diane out,” he explains. “With the money I got, the severance package from my old job, remember I told you what happened?”

Aaron nods.

“So... I can afford it. It doesn't have to change anything, your Mum is still in charge, I'm not going to want to move in or anything, I'm just... investing, and helping her out of a hole that I'm partly responsible for getting her into.”

Aaron nods again.

“So... she said I had to ask if it was alright with you,” Robert says. “Before she agreed to it. So. Is it?” He asks, nervously. He thinks Aaron's going to say yes, but he doesn't like to assume.

Aaron nods for the third time, clambering out from under the duvet to press a kiss to Robert's lips. “You're really alright with it?” Robert checks. 

Aaron nods firmly, presses another kiss to Robert's lips, tugging him over himself as he lies back. Robert winds up on top of him, the reverse of where he'd been several hours prior. “She said we aren't to spend the rest of the day celebrating,” Robert whispers. “I think she must have heard us last night,” he adds with a grimace.

Aaron presses a finger to his lips, stopping him from saying anything else. Silenced, Robert lets Aaron kiss him again, his boyfriends hands wandering, pulling his jumper up and over his head, breaking their kiss for mere seconds before he's being pulled down on top of Aaron properly. Aaron breaks the kiss to smirk at him, clearly happy with the way things were going.

Robert gives in. “We'll have to be quiet,” he tells his boyfriend, who nods. “And quick.”

Aaron raises an eyebrow at the 'quick', and Robert knows, he just knows that he's not going back downstairs for quite a while, and will be facing Chas's teasing when he does.

Reconnecting his and Aaron's lips, he finds that he couldn't care less.

*

A week later and the paperwork is all done; Robert is now the official owner of half of the Woolpack, Emmerdale. Diane hadn't argued even when she found out who the money was coming from; she wanted out, and that was that.

Aaron's glad that Robert has some very efficient, quick off the mark lawyers, for his Mum's sake more than anything else. The thought of dragging it out for weeks on end hadn't been appealing to her, and this way it was all relatively painless, just a few signatures from her here and there on paperwork and it was all done.

He leans against the worktop in the kitchen area, watching his Mum as she rummages around in the cupboards, writing things down on a piece of paper. He's waiting to drive her into town to do a big food shop. She'll be going into the supermarket herself; he finds the whole experience too confronting. Everyone wants him to speak, the cashiers at the tills always giving him a weird look when he doesn't answer their chit chat, so he avoids the place as much as possible.

So the plan, as always, is for him to drop her off, go down to the high street to get the few things the supermarket doesn't supply, from shops who know his... quirk, and then go back to wait for her in the car park.

They've been doing it this way for years, and it goes like clockwork every time.

She turns to him, waving an almost empty packet in his face so quickly he doesn't get the chance to see what it is before it's back in the cupboard. “Need to get some of those,” she says. “Robert's favourite, can't let those run out can we?” She says with a laugh.

Aaron snorts. Robert without his favourite biscuits? No. He doesn't want to witness that. His boyfriend has a sweet tooth like no-one else he's ever met. It's endearing, really.

“Need Robert's coffee too,” his Mum is saying to herself. “Oh, and that cheese he likes...” She turns her head, glancing at Aaron briefly. “He might as well move in here,” she comments. “He's always here, I'm buying all the food he eats, don't know why he bothers paying Val and Eric. Has he actually slept at the B&B at all in the last few weeks?” She asks.

Aaron shakes his head no. Robert has spent every night since the first time they'd slept together, in his bed. He only goes back to the B&B to change clothes, which is ridiculous when Aaron thinks about it.

If he's honest, he'd love nothing more than for Robert to move in. He's just not sure how to broach the subject. Now though... now he has an opportunity.

He's just got to work out how to communicate that.

Luckily for him, his Mum sees the look on his face, puts two and two together and realises what he's thinking about. “You want him to move in, don't you?” She asks.

He nods, slightly nervously. He doesn't know what she's going to say next.

She considers him for a moment. “If that's what you want,” she says slowly. “Then it's fine by me.”

He's sure the grin covers his whole face.

*

He stands in the front doorway to the pub for a minute, watching his boyfriend.

Robert has his back to him; sitting at one of the picnic tables nursing a pint. Aaron smiles, feeling the folded piece of paper in the pocket of his hoodie. He'd spent a long time working out exactly how to word it, with more than a few screwed up balls of paper getting aimed at the bin before the words ended up exactly how he wants them.

As he watches Robert take another drink from the glass, he wonders briefly if it's too soon, asking him to move in.

He considers it for only a few seconds before shaking his head slightly. No, he thinks to himself. It's not too soon. It feels right. He knows how he feels about Robert. He does. He doesn't know quite when it happened, but he does. 

He loves him.

Robert Jacob Sugden has found his way into Aaron Dingle's heart and made a place for himself there, and Aaron is not complaining in the slightest.

He jogs lightly down the steps and across to the picnic table Robert is sitting at. He's not worried about anyone seeing them together; the news that they are an item had slowly made it's way around the whole village over the last week. Everyone was happy for him, for them. The only bad response they've had up now is Andy and to an extent, Diane and neither him nor Robert particularly care about that. 

Well, Robert says he doesn't care. Aaron suspects that most of that is him trying to forget about it, pretend that most of his family don't approve, but he lets it slide. 

He trusts that Robert will tell him, talk to him if he needs to.

Taking another step forward, be comes into Robert's line of sight and offers his boyfriend a smile. Robert returns it, patting the bench seat next to him in invitation. Aaron accepts the offer, clambering into position next to Robert.

Breathing deeply, he braces himself. Do it, do it now, he tells himself, getting the folded piece of paper from his pocket and placing it on the top of the picnic table before using one finger to slide it along to his left, stopping directly in front of Robert. Withdrawing his hand, he doesn't dare breathe as Robert picks up the note, unfolding it and reading.

He watches Robert's facial expression carefully as it changes, from mild confusion into a small smile, growing into an ecstatic grin.

Robert, note clasped firmly in his fingers, turns to him and kisses him on the lips. “Yes,” he says. “Yes, I'll move in with you.” His grin widens, Aaron's mirroring it as Robert pulls him in for another kiss. 

“I love you,” Robert tells him suddenly, and Aaron's heart skips a beat, tears of joy and pure happiness filling his eyes as Robert kisses him once again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments! Over 400 kudos now too which wow, thank you! Please keep letting me know what you think, I really love reading your thoughts! <3

Robert closes the second and last of his suitcases, carrying it over and placing it down by the bedroom door. He doesn't have a lot of stuff; Chrissie had destroyed most of it and what little he had managed to rescue barely filled half a suitcase. She'd taken a knife, then a lighter to his clothes, leaving him in what he'd been wearing at the time. He'd managed to rescue his laptop from her wrath, along with a couple of books and a few sentimental items, some photos, that sort of thing.

Everything else... well, he'd been long overdue a shopping trip, even if it was a somewhat restricted one. Not knowing what his money situation was going to be, he'd kept it to essentials only; jeans, shoes, some casual shirts, jumpers, a couple of smart suits for meetings (and job interviews, not that he's been to any of those. He won't need to either now he owns half a pub), a blazer and a couple of other jackets. A blue canvas one and a warmer one, picked out when he decided to come up to Yorkshire to see Victoria.

His only indulgence had been the leather jacket, now hanging on one of the hooks in the pub's hallway, next to his other jackets. Jet black, with a buckle at the collar, he'd been unable to resist when he'd seen it in the shop. 

Turning back to the bed, he picks up the last of his jumpers, folding it neatly and putting it in the drawer. Aaron had tidied his room properly in preparation, not needing to get rid of any of his own clothes to give Robert some room, only put them away properly for a change.

Chas had laughed as she watched Aaron trying to work out how to fold things, eventually taking pity on him and showing him how to do it. 

Robert would have himself, it he hadn't been too busy trying to work out how Aaron had managed to turn a hoodie inside out while 'folding it up'.

He still couldn't work that one out.

Closing the drawer, he checks the wardrobe, brushing his hand lightly over his neatly ordered shirts, arranged next to Aaron's array of black t-shirts.

Sitting down on the end of the bed, he pulls the piece of paper from his pocket. The note Aaron gave him the day before. 

'You fancy moving in?' It says. 'Here, with me, obviously,' written underneath that, and in brackets... '(you might as well, you're here all the time anyway)'

He chuckles, before reading the last part, the (in his opinion) most important.

'I'd really like you to. I like having you around. I really like having you around.' It says. Robert smiles softly at the page, running his finger along the ragged top edge where it had been torn from the notebook. Looking at the words gives him a warm feeling inside, and he carefully folds the page up, before reaching for the one framed photo he owns; one of him with his Mum. Not his biological Mum, his other Mum. Sarah.

She has her arms wrapped around him in the photo, and they're both grinning at the camera like idiots. He bites his lip, looking at the photograph and turns the frame over, removing the wooden back before carefully tucking Aaron's note inside, behind the photo.

Putting it all back together, he turns it back to face him again and runs his finger over the glass, over Sarah's face. “I found someone Mum,” he whispers. “I hope you'd like him.” He blinks the tears from his eyes before they fall. “I think you would have,” he whispers to the photo. “He's just...” He sighs, unable to find the words to describe Aaron. Nothing seems to do him justice. “He's perfect,” he says instead. “And he likes me and... I love him, Mum. I really do.”

Wiping at his eyes with one hand, he nods to himself before placing the photo frame next to his books, on the bedside table at his side of the bed. 

Pride of place.

*

The only other thing that he'd managed to rescue from his previous life was his car. Purely because he'd had the keys in his pocket at the time. The rest of his cars had been a lost cause. Probably destroyed too, or sold.

He doesn't care. He doesn't need more than one car, not out here and his Audi R8 was always his favourite.

Getting into the car, he swiftly reverses it out of the space it was in, before executing a perfect three point turn and swinging the car into it's new space, in one of the private parking spaces reserved for the occupants of the Woolpack. Aaron's sixteen year old silver Mitsubishi EVO is in the space next door, and Robert runs his fingers over the roof as he walks past it on his way back inside. 

Aaron's car might be old, but Robert's seen all the manuals in Aaron's room. The car is a very Aaron car, and Aaron is dedicated to keeping it running himself.

Robert hopes it has a minor breakdown soon; the thought of Aaron, bent over the bonnet as he fiddles with the engine is certainly a pleasing one.

Adjusting his jeans slightly, he heads back into the warmth of the pub.

*

Later that day, he ends up on his first official shift behind the bar as landlord. His name has joined Chas's on a plaque above the door, and he is now officially a licensee of this fine establishment.

This... very quiet, fine establishment.

He finishes rubbing the bar down, and positions himself at the end of the bar, waiting for a customer. Late morning on a Thursday... he's not expecting a rush anytime soon, that's for sure, and with Victoria having gone into town and Marlon taking some time off last minute, some April related emergency apparently, there's no food on at the moment so the lunch rush will probably end up directing itself towards the cafe.

Of course, there's a good chance of some custom when people come in in the first place, before they realise that the kitchen is closed...

Robert readies himself to do some fast talking, and maybe some faster sales.

Maybe he can persuade Marlon to come in late... surely whatever the 'emergency' is with his daughter isn't going to take that long?

He sends the chef a text, asking how April is. Get an idea of the situation and work it to your advantage Robert, he thinks to himself. 

Within reason, of course. He's trying to be good, after all.

Looking up as the door opens, he groans quietly. “What can I get you?” He asks, putting on a nice, if very fake, tone as he walks to the other end of the bar.

Andy scowls. “I don't want anything from you,” he snaps.

Robert sighs. “What do you want then?” He replies, all traces of friendliness gone.

“I want to know what you think you're playing at,” Andy says.

Confused as all hell, Robert frowns. “Don't know what you mean,” he tells him.

“Cheating Diane out of this place!” Andy declares. 

“Cheating?” Robert says incredulously, shaking his head. “I paid her more than it's worth, more than she wanted for it and far more than she would have got had it made it to open market,” he retaliates. “So don't you dare come in here accusing me of cheating her,” he says, his tone low, almost dangerous. “I wouldn't do that. Not to her.”

“So you're just throwing your money around to make yourself look good?” Andy changes tack, shaking his head with disgust. “Sounds about right.”

Robert rolls his eyes. Short of punching Andy in the face, which he doubts would end well, there's nothing else he can do. His brother is far from the brightest, and with his clear, prejudiced opinion... there's no point. “Do you want a drink or not?” He snaps instead. “'Cause if not, then get out.”

Andy opens his mouth, presumably to throw more ridiculous accusations his way, but his eyes shift past Robert's shoulder and his mouth closes again. He huffs, before turning and stomping out. “Good riddance to that,” Robert mutters. 

Unsure what it was that Andy had seen behind him, he turns to see Aaron standing in the doorway through to the back of the pub, with what can only be described as a death glare levelled at the door Andy has just left through.

A smile graces Robert's face. Seeing Aaron has that effect. “I can fight my own battles you know,” he says, stepping towards Aaron. Aaron shrugs, and Robert's smile widens into a grin. “Thank you,” he says. “For having my back.” He pulls Aaron into a kiss.

*

Robert drops a small piece of uneaten pizza crust into the box, before leaning back into the sofa with a groan. “Oh, that was good,” he says, looking up at the ceiling. “I hope you don't want me to move anytime soon though,” he adds with a sideways glance at Aaron. “I'm stuffed.”

Aaron snorts in response, shuffling on the sofa himself until he's settled, leaning slightly on Robert. He's not 'stuffed', as his boyfriend put it, but he's pleasantly full, the two now empty pizza boxes sitting on the coffee table, the telly showing some quiz show that looks familiar. He yawns, snuggling into Robert's side more. Robert's left arm comes up and around Aaron's shoulders, and he sighs contentedly.

“Do you ever wish you could talk?” Robert asks suddenly. Aaron glances at him sideways, not expecting the question. “I don’t mean any offence,” Robert is quick to say. “Just curious. I mean, we communicate fine, right? And you’re fine with your Mum.” He says. Aaron nods at him, not sure where his boyfriend is going with this. “But that’s us. It must be awkward with other people, right?”

Aaron nods. This conversation is going to be easier via text, he thinks, leaning forward and picking up his phone. He taps away at the screen as Robert gets his own phone from his jeans pocket. It buzzes a few seconds later.

Aaron: I used to. Years ago.

“And you don’t now?” Robert asks. This half texting, half talking style of conversation is something they’ve done plenty of times before. On one occasion, Robert had been trying to explain the plot line to a film he’d wanted to take Aaron to at the cinema. Aaron had wanted to ask a few questions first. It had been an alright film, but Robert had made it sound far better than it was.

He taps away at his phone again.

Aaron: Not really, no.

The truth is he hasn't. Not for years anyway. It's only recently that he's even become a bit annoyed at his inability to speak; when Robert was breaking down on him in tears after Andy's hurtful reaction being one such occasion. He'd wanted to comfort Robert with words then, but hadn't been able to.

Part of him wished he'd been able to tell Andy what he really thought of him earlier in the pub too, when Andy was accusing Robert. Robert can handle himself, Aaron knows that but it would have been nice to join in, had he been able to.

Asking Robert to move in with a note had been fine. It was their thing... his thing anyway. But asking with words, actual speech... that would have made it all the more special.

But most of all... most of all he wants Robert to know just how much he means to him.

He wants Robert to know that he loves him.

He could write it down of course. Give Robert a little note with the words written on it. He's sure his boyfriend would love that but...

But...

The thought of actually telling him. Actually saying the words out loud...

He can't deny it; it's appealing.

Very appealing. 

He presses his lips to Robert's cheek, getting up from the sofa. Robert looks at him with worry and Aaron smiles reassuringly, raising his hand with one finger up, telling Robert that he'll be back in a minute, before heading through and up the stairs.

Once in his bedroom, he looks around with a frown.

Where did he put it? He asks himself.

Remembering, he goes to his wardrobe, reaching for a box on top of it and getting it down. Looking inside, he finds what he was looking for quite quickly.

Pondering it, he shrugs to himself. Worth a try, surely?

He nods firmly, making his decision.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your comments and kudos! Your support means so much to me <3 Please keep letting me know what you think! Thank you! :D

The following morning, Aaron is up bright and early for once; showered and dressed before seven, he smiles at his very confused and half-asleep boyfriend who hasn't even managed to drag himself out of bed yet.

Rounding the bed, he kisses Robert's cheek and leaves, closing the door gently behind him and creeping down the stairs, not wanting to risk waking his Mum.

The throaty roar of the engine on his EVO probably wakes her up anyway, he winces, but it's too late now.

Reversing out of his parking space, he turns the wheel and drives off, up the track behind the B&B and onto the main road.

*

Robert is confused.

Very, very confused.

Firstly, Aaron got up early. EARLY. He never does that. He's not adverse to being woken up early, morning sex is something they both enjoy after all, but willingly waking up, getting up, showering and being all dressed (quite smartly too) and out the door at seven in the morning?

No.

Something's not right.

Robert paces the back room of the pub. It's after lunch now, and he hasn't heard from Aaron all morning. He's starting to worry. Maybe he got scared off when the subject of him wishing he could talk was brought up, he wonders. 

No, he thinks. That can't be right... Aaron kissed him on the cheek before he left, so he can't be angry with him, surely?

Tipping his head back to look at the ceiling, Robert sighs, pausing in his tracks. “Aaron, where are you?” He whispers to no-one.

As if by magic, the door opens then, and Aaron appears, walking into the back room. Robert breathes a sigh of relief, rushing over and pulling his boyfriend into a hug. Aaron's slightly stiff in his arms for a few seconds before relaxing slightly, bringing his arms up to wrap around Robert's back.

The hug is brief, and as they pull apart, Aaron looks at him questioningly. “Where've you been?” Robert asks him. “You were up so early, went off out and then I didn't hear from you, I was worried.”

Aaron shakes his head, standing up on his tiptoes and kissing Robert firmly.

Robert means to quiz Aaron more, find out where he was but Aaron's lips on his own are distracting, and he finds himself being led up the stairs and into their bedroom.

All thoughts go out of his head after that.

*

A couple of weeks later and he still doesn't have a clue where Aaron went that morning, or on two other mornings since then. Several afternoons too, sometimes for the whole afternoon, sometimes just for an hour.

Aaron keeps disappearing, and Robert doesn't know where to, or why, and every time he asks, Aaron simply smiles at him, then drags him off to bed. His boyfriend has the perfect distraction technique, he can't argue with that.

It's not that he's complaining about the amount of sex he's getting, far from it but Aaron's being secretive, and considering it's the total opposite of the way he was when they first got together... Robert's worried.

Aaron's not self-harming again, he knows that.

Has seen Aaron naked enough in the last couple of weeks to know that for definite.

Something's not right though, and he needs to find out what.

Part of him wants to push the issue, but, for all he's declared his love for Aaron, bought half of the pub they live in, moved in with him...

They've been together exactly one month today. It's too soon to start demanding Aaron tells him everything... isn't it? He sighs. He hates not knowing things, especially Aaron related things.

He has however planned a little celebratory meal for later. Maybe Aaron will enlighten him if plied with candles, dim lighting and a fancy meal. He can hope.

Only problem is, Aaron's vanished again.

Robert had seriously considered taking his own car and following Aaron, but he knows that that wouldn't go down well.

Plus, his Audi is far too distinctive. He'd be rumbled before they even got onto the Hotten Road, if it even took that long.

At a loss for the moment, he leans back against the bar. He's on shift until Chas gets back; she's gone into town to do the shopping.

Something Aaron usually helps her with, but he'd written her a note saying he couldn't today.

At least that got Chas onto the 'what's he hiding' train. Not properly, though. Robert had thought his luck was in, that Chas could get it out of Aaron where he was going, what he was doing but while she had shown some concern, she's not in any rush to find out.

He'll speak to her when she gets back, he decides. Try and get her to understand that he's worried. That might work.

He hopes.

“Robert?”

Shaking his head slightly, he comes out of his thoughts and looks up to see Diane in front of him, on the other side of the bar. “Sorry,” he says automatically. “Was miles away.”

She smiles gently. “Don't worry,” she says.

“Drink?” He asks. 

She shakes her head, and he frowns. “I came to apologise,” she says instead and he raises an eyebrow, not sure what she's apologising for. He hasn't seen her since he bought her out of the pub, and even then it was in the presence of lawyers for the signing of paperwork, so hardly in a social setting.

“I don't-”

“For Andy,” she tells him. “He told me you two had had words a couple of weeks back?”

Robert nods. For an apology, it's a very delayed one, he thinks.

“I've been trying to catch you,” she continues. “But every time I'm in the village, you aren't.” She says. “I'm glad I finally caught you.”

Robert makes a non-committal noise in his throat.

“I tried to talk to Andy,” she says. “After that day up at the farm, and again when he mentioned your argument but he's not listening. He's just so angry, no matter what I say he just doesn't want to know.”

“It doesn't matter,” Robert says. “Just forget about it, I have.”

He hasn't, he really hasn't but she doesn't need to know that. It hurts still, it really does that his own brother wouldn't, couldn't accept his sexuality, and would actually think that he'd cheat Diane out of a fair deal on the pub.

He knows he hasn't got the best track record, but this is ridiculous.

He'd been hoping that Andy would come around eventually, but the more time that passes, the less likely it seems that that will happen.

Maybe he just needs to accept it. Andy's never going to accept him, so he should just let it go.

He's got other things to worry about after all. Namely Aaron. The whole situation is stressing him to the limit. He's pinning all his hopes on tonights meal being the trigger for Aaron to tell him what he's been up to.

He hopes it works; he's not sure what else to do otherwise. He can't rely on Chas, she might not be able to get Aaron to talk either...

Bringing his attention back to Diane, he smiles at her. “Seriously Diane,” he says. “It's fine. It is what it is. Can I get you a drink?” He offers. “On the house?”

She smiles. “I wasn't going to stay,” she starts and his face falls. “Oh go on then,” she adds with a little cheeky grin. “You've twisted my arm. Just the one though.”

He smiles. At least one thing seems to be going right today.

*

He's just starting to work on the fancy meal when Aaron comes back, clattering through the door like he always does. “Hiya,” Robert calls from in the kitchen. “Where've you been?” He asks, like he always does.

Aaron doesn't reply. Like he always does.

Robert sighs. Turning his attention back to the fridge, he hears Aaron come up behind him. Turning, he closes the fridge door, finding himself pulled into a kiss.

No, he decides. He's not going to let Aaron distract him, not again.

It's hard, but he manages to pull away, taking a step back away from Aaron. His boyfriend frowns, leaning in to kiss him again but Robert dodges, stepping past Aaron and out of the kitchen area.

They end up on opposite sides of the dining table, which Robert finds apt. “Why are you being so secretive?” Robert blurts out. 

Aaron looks confused, and Robert snaps. “You keep disappearing!” He half-shouts. “Getting up early and disappearing for the whole morning. Going off in the afternoons, sometimes gone for an hour, sometimes four. You come back and I ask you and you just smile and drag me off to bed... I know we haven't been together that long Aaron but...” He breathes shakily. “You're avoiding me aren't you?”

Aaron bites his lip, doesn't make any other attempt to communicate and Robert's emotions boil over.

“You're going off me, aren't you? Not for sex, that's obvious but in general?” He's lost control of his mouth now, the thoughts in his head tumbling out in quick succession. 

“Do you not like my company anymore?” He asks. “Was me buying half of this place a bad idea? I was just trying to help your Mum out but maybe I shouldn't have, maybe it was too soon...” He bites his lip. “Was it me moving in? Was that too soon? Should I have said no, given us more time before we took that step?” He tries.

Aaron watches him as he rambles, an undecipherable expression on his face.

“Was it me asking you if you ever wished you could talk?” Robert asks, frantic now. “Did I upset you? If I did you just had to tell me, you didn't have to go all weird and standoffish and secretive... I've ruined everything haven't I?” There's tears in his eyes now, he can't help it. Aaron's still not reacting, and he doesn't know what else to do, to say. All of his insecurities are laid bare and he still doesn't think it's enough.

He runs a hand down his face. “Please Aaron,” he says, voice thick with emotion. “Just tell me what I've done.”

Aaron swallows hard, twisting his hands together as if fighting with himself.

Robert sniffs. His eyes are wet. “Just tell me what I've done,” he repeats. “Should I just go? Do you want me to go, is that it?” Aaron doesn't move, just keeps twisting his hands together and Robert starts to turn away.

“Iloveyou!”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever, I'm sorry! Been incredibly busy the last couple of weeks, but hopefully I won't take as long to update again. -crosses fingers-
> 
> Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos, please keep letting me know what you think (and that you're still reading!).

The words weren't loud; Aaron's deep, slightly gruff voice rough with disuse. But they were words. Garbled words, but words nevertheless. A beautiful sound. Something Robert has quietly hoped for, but never thought he'd hear. 

The words Aaron said too, what he'd blurted out... 

Aaron loves him.

He loves him.

In normal circumstances he'd say it back, especially given that he's already told Aaron this, but the sheer shock of Aaron speaking has rendered Robert himself speechless.

Some wild, borderline hysterical part of his brain finds that hilarious.

He turns back to face Aaron properly; their eyes locking as they stare at each other in brief silence. Aaron's eyes are wide, Robert guesses that his boyfriend can't quite believe that words tumbled from his lips for the first time in... who knows how long. Over six years that anyone is aware of, maybe even longer than that.

He approaches Aaron cautiously, like one would approach a wild animal. Stopping in front of his boyfriend, he reaches out gently, placing a hand on Aaron's shoulder and gripping it lightly. 

Finding his own voice, he whispers. “Say it again,” he asks him, a mixture of both wanting to hear those beautiful words again and wanting to be sure he didn't imagine it driving him.

Aaron opens his mouth, closes it then opens it again. He spends a good minute doing a good impression of a frustrated goldfish before giving up with an angry sigh, the words refusing to come.

Robert pulls him against his chest, wrapping his arms around him and pressing a kiss into his hair. “It's alright,” he whispers. “Don't worry about it.”

They pull apart, and Aaron steps back to lean against the kitchen cupboards, Robert mirroring him on the opposite side of the tiny kitchen area. “So... you spoke,” Robert says after a few minutes, stating the obvious.

Aaron shrugs at him, and Robert snorts. “Don't play it down,” he tells him. “It's amazing!”

Aaron shrugs at him again, reaching into his pocket. He pulls something out, handing it to Robert. Robert turns the small card over, realising that it's a business card. “Speech therapy?” He says, reading the words. The penny drops, and Robert feels like an idiot. “That's where you've been going?” He asks, wanting the confirmation even though he knows what Aaron's going to do.

Aaron nods, as expected and Robert smiles at him. “I'm such an idiot,” he says. Aaron snorts, and he narrows his eyes at him in a mock glare. “I've been thinking all sorts and you've been off trying to start talking again.” He runs a hand down his face. “Forgive me for being a prat?” He asks.

Aaron shakes his head with a grin, pushing himself away from the cupboards and crossing the kitchen in one step, pressing a quick kiss to Robert's lips before tugging him across the room.

They end up side by side on the sofa, Aaron reaching forward to grab the ever present notepad and pen from the coffee table before settling himself down properly. Aaron opens the notebook and starts scribbling on the pages furiously, his tongue poking out of his mouth slightly as he concentrates. Robert watches fondly, patiently waiting to read what his boyfriend has to say.

Several long minutes and a lot of scribbling later, Aaron hands him the notepad. Robert scans the pages, Aaron's hastily written words awkward to read, but he manages to decipher the scrawl. “So you went to a private speech therapist so you didn't have to go on a waiting list, but you could only afford to pay for a few sessions?” He says aloud, checking with his boyfriend that he's read it correctly.

Aaron nods in confirmation, and Robert flips the notepad closed. “So where've you been the rest of the time?” He asks, curiosity taking over.

Aaron takes the pad, scribbles again and hands it back. “Practicing,” Robert reads aloud. “Taking yourself off somewhere quiet, eh?”

Aaron nods, doesn't elaborate as to where, and Robert doesn't push him. “So did you manage?” He asks. “To say something before today?” He elaborates.

Aaron shakes his head no. Taking the pad back again, he uses it to explain that though he'd tried and tried, he hadn't managed to say a single word until he'd spoken to Robert ten minutes prior.

“Ah, so I've got the magic touch, have I?” Robert jokes, grinning widely. Aaron shakes his head at him. “So the sessions you went to, they helped, obviously?” He asks. Aaron nods. “Do you want to go to some more?” Robert asks. “I'll pay,” he adds as Aaron frowns.

I can't ask you to do that, Aaron scribbles on the next page in the notepad.

“I'm offering,” Robert insists. “If it helps you, then it's worth it.”

I dunno, Aaron writes on the page. I don't know if it was really working, he adds underneath.

Robert raises an eyebrow at the last sentence. “Not sure I'd agree with you there,” he says.

I hadn't managed to say anything until you, Aaron writes. I listened to everything the therapist told me, followed all of the instructions but nothing worked, nothing until now.

“Well...” Robert starts. “Well maybe now you have spoken, it'll help?” He suggests. Aaron doesn't look convinced. “Look, the offer's there right?” He tells him. “If you want to go to more sessions, then just book them, and I'll pay. If you'd rather not, then that's okay too. It's your choice.”

Aaron gives him a small smile, starting to lean towards him. Robert's arm comes up and around his boyfriends shoulders automatically, tugging Aaron into a half-hug.

*

They sit for a little while in silence, Aaron tucked against Robert's side, his legs pulled up onto the sofa and underneath him, making himself as small as possible. He's feeling vulnerable; that's obvious, and understandable given what he's just done. Speaking, saying something after such a long time... Robert can't imagine how it must feel. So he doesn't make a thing out of it, Aaron tucking himself into him. He just lets Aaron do whatever he needs to.

Aaron's shaking, ever so slightly. Robert can only tell because Aaron's pressed against him; he doubts he'd notice otherwise. 

He lets his hand trail up and down Aaron's upper arm lightly, repetitively until Aaron starts to relax. Slowly but surely, Aaron becomes a heavier weight against his side until Robert's almost certain he's asleep.

So he can be forgiven for jumping a mile when Aaron suddenly sits up moments later, shuffling himself around, feet dropping off the front of the sofa to the floor, sitting sideways to face him.

“I thought you were asleep!” He exclaims, hand pressed to his chest. Aaron rolls his eyes at him. “You gave me a fright!” Robert adds. Aaron snorts, giving him precisely zero sympathy as he picks up the notepad, it having fallen on the floor at some point. Flicking through the pages, he finally finds a blank one and starts to write.

I want to try again, he scribbles before showing it to Robert.

“You want to try talking again?” Robert says hopefully.

Aaron nods. His mouth opens and shuts repeatedly as he starts to try and force words past his lips, but it doesn't work; only odd, strangled noises coming from his throat instead. He sighs in frustration, twisting his hands together, his knuckles going white from the pressure as his breathing quickens.

“Hey, hey,” Robert says, placing one hand over both of Aaron's in an attempt to calm his anxiety. “It's just me,” he tells him, trying to reassure him, to calm him down. “It's alright, it's only me.”

He gently prises Aaron's hands apart before taking them in his own, linking their fingers together and squeezing gently. “Just breathe,” he coaches, hoping he's doing the right thing. “It's okay.”

Aaron slowly manages to get his breathing under control, taking deep, shuddering breaths in and letting them out slowly as he calms down.

“That's it,” Robert says as Aaron's breathing returns to normal. “There you go.” He squeezes Aaron's hands again encouragingly.

Aaron glances down at their joined hands, before looking up again, meeting Robert's gaze. Opening his mouth, he tries once more to speak. “R... R...” He manages, before sighing.

“You can do it,” Robert tells him, as he gives Aaron's hands another gentle squeeze.

“R... R...” Aaron groans, frustrated. He grips Robert's hands tightly, huffs to himself as if determined then tries again. “R... R-Ro... R-Robert,” he eventually manages. “Robert.”

Robert breaks into the biggest grin he's ever mustered, the feeling of hearing his name tumble from Aaron's lips filling him with joy. “You did it!” He says, using their linked hands to pull Aaron towards him, into a kiss.

Aaron's smiling too as they break apart, and Robert releases his hands to pull him into an embrace instead. He kisses the hair on the side of Aaron's head as he holds him, before altering their position so he can kiss his boyfriend properly.

Covering Aaron's lips with his own, both his and Aaron's hands begin to wander and he pulls Aaron into his lap. They snog for several long minutes before Robert breaks the kiss, breathless against Aaron's mouth. “Never mind saying my name,” he whispers against Aaron's lips. “How about we go upstairs and I make you scream it?”

Aaron bites his lip before nodding. Robert smirks, kissing Aaron again even as he manoeuvres them both up from the sofa and around towards the door that leads to the stairs.

*

Aaron's already awake when Robert opens his eyes the following morning. 

He's lying mostly on Robert's chest, his left leg hooked over Robert's hips, arms around his torso. They're both completely naked, something Robert is very conscious of as his dick gives a valiant twitch. 

He's not surprised that that's all he manages; they'd been up most of the night having sex after all, only falling asleep a couple of hours ago.

He hadn't been successful in getting Aaron to scream his name, but they'd had a lot of fun trying, that's for sure. 

His eyes meet Aaron's sleepy gaze, and his boyfriend smiles at him. “I love you,” Aaron whispers, the words coming easily while he's relaxed and carefree.

“I love you too,” Robert whispers back, the warm feeling that he's been getting whenever Aaron manages to say something returning. Aaron shuffles until he can press a soft kiss to Robert's lips, and they sigh against each other.

Robert brings his arms up to wrap around Aaron, rolling until they're both lying on their sides facing each other. “Come on,” he says. “More sleep. 'S too early,” he mumbles.

Aaron tucks his head under Robert's chin, nodding in agreement as they doze off in unison.

*

It's just after the lunchtime rush, and Robert's covering the bar. Chas hadn't been too impressed that he and Aaron had slept in late enough that she'd been left covering the bar on her own, but one look at the grins on both of their faces (even if she didn't know why, Aaron wasn't ready for her to know, not yet) had softened her. 

Robert does have to look after the bar for the rest of the day until closing though, to make up for it.

It won't be too bad though; Aaron has 'volunteered' to help, and there's nothing Robert likes more than spending time with Aaron.

Alone would have been preferable of course, but he'll take what he can get, and since he lives here now, it's not like he's got to go anywhere later on. He can curl himself around Aaron in their bed, their own little hideaway from the world.

Glancing up at the ceiling, he vaguely wonders how much longer Aaron's going to be in the shower. Shaking his head, his attention is diverted to a customer at the bar. A bloke in his forties, Robert's never seen him before but they do get people just passing through, so he doesn't think anything of it.

Approaching the man, he offers a friendly smile. “What can I get you?” He asks.

“I'm looking for Chas Dingle,” the man says. “I believe she owns this pub?”

Instantly on the defensive, Robert narrows his eyes slightly. “She's not here,” he lies on instinct, hoping Chas won't suddenly appear from the back room. “I'm Robert, her business partner,” he introduces himself. “Can I help?”

“I don't think so,” the man says. “I'm Gordon,” he introduces himself. “Gordon Livesy. Aaron's dad,” he finishes, offering his hand to shake.

Robert blinks, hears glass smashing behind him.

Turning, he sees Aaron in the doorway that leads through to the back, staring at Gordon in silence.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos! Over 500 kudos now O.O It never fails to amaze me that people love this fic so much, so thank you, really. <3 Please keep letting me know what you think!
> 
> Warning for mentions of Aaron's suicide attempt.

Robert glances between Aaron and his father. 

Gordon's holding his hand out for Robert to shake. Robert looks at it, then up at Gordon with barely hidden disgust. He doesn't know much about Aaron's dad, but what little he does doesn't paint a pretty picture. He pointedly refuses to shake the man's hand, and Gordon drops it back to his side awkwardly.

His momentary distraction has diverted his attention from Aaron, and he turns back to face his boyfriend only to find that Aaron hasn't moved a muscle. He's almost frozen in place, staring at his father with an odd expression on his face. Robert takes a step towards him. The sound of his single footstep on the hard floor of the pub seems to shock Aaron back from wherever he'd gone, back to reality.

Aaron turns tail and starts to walk quickly towards the back room, pushing past Chas as she comes into the bar. “What on- Aaron?” She calls after her son, shaking her head in confusion before she spots Gordon. “What the hell are you doing here?” She snaps.

Robert, chasing after Aaron, pauses beside her. “I've got Aaron, you get rid of him,” he says quickly, quietly. “Watch yourself, there's glass on the floor,” he adds louder.

He's vaguely aware of Chas carefully sidestepping the shards of glass that litter the floor as he heads through into the back room, following Aaron.

*

Aaron closes the door behind him with a firm click. Leaning back against it for a moment, he tips his head back, hitting it lightly on the wood. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tries to control his breathing.

Fails.

The panic that hit him the moment he saw his father standing in the bar is quickly becoming all-consuming.

Why is he here? Is the only thought going through Aaron's head. Why now?

He has to know. He has to have found out... somehow he knows.

He spoke. He spoke to Robert, he used words for the first time since... that night, and now his dad shows up?

It can't be a coincidence.

It can't be.

Swallowing hard, he pushes away from the door, finds himself leaning over one of the dining chairs, gripping the back of it for dear life.

His panic is becoming sheer terror now, and he jumps a mile when the door opens. Spinning around, his hands come up, fists clenched, ready for anything.

Only to see Robert, wide eyed and confused as all hell as he closes the door behind himself.

*

Robert raises his hands, palms out. “Hey, hey, it's only me,” he says. Aaron drops his fists back to his sides, turns away from him. He's clearly agitated, more than Robert would have expected even knowing what little he does about Gordon Livesy.

He frowns. “Aaron?” He says, to no reaction from his boyfriend. “Come on, tell me what's wrong?”

Aaron shakes his head quickly, jerkily and Robert approaches. Laying a hand on Aaron's shoulder, his frown deepens when Aaron flinches at the contact, shrugging Robert off. He starts to walk away, to leave the room. “Aaron?” Robert says. “Don't do this, talk to me, tell me what's wrong!”

Aaron pauses, hand on the door handle. He spares Robert a glance, pain evident in his eyes before he leaves the room. Robert hears his feet thudding heavily on the stairs seconds later, and sighs, rubbing a hand over his chin.

“Right, I got him to leave, but I can't guarantee he won't be back,” Chas says as she comes through the door. She pauses, looking around the room. “Where's Aaron?” She asks Robert.

Robert points at the ceiling. “Went upstairs,” he says. “I tried to get him to tell me what's wrong, but he wouldn't.” Chas sighs, and Robert has to ask. He needs to know. “He was really upset Chas, really, really upset.”

Chas pulls a face, sits down on the arm of the sofa. “Why did he have to turn up?” She mutters to herself.

“What happened between them?” Robert asks. “I don't know much, just that he isn't in the picture, hasn't been for years.” He pulls one of the dining chairs away from the table and sits down, facing Chas. “I need to know Chas, so I can be there for Aaron. He was so much more upset than I thought he'd be, there's more to this isn't there?”

Chas covers the bottom half of her face with her hands and nods. “I don't know what happened between them myself,” she admits. “I haven't got a clue. Sandra, his step-mum, she dropped him off here a few weeks before Christmas 2008. It was weird, the way it all happened.”

“Weird how?”

“It was late at night,” she tells him. “Almost midnight when she knocked on the door. Woke me up, I came downstairs, opened the door and there they were. He had a bruise on his face, down the side of his cheek. I asked him what had happened but he just pushed past me, took himself off upstairs.” She glances at Robert. “So I asked Sandra what had happened.”

“What did she say?”

“Gave me some story about him and Gordon having a fight. Told me to keep them apart, then she just turned and started to leave, started to walk away. I chased after her, caught up to her at her car. She had Aaron's sister, Liv, in the back. She was asleep. The car was full of bags... she opened the door, handed me Aaron's backpack then got in the car and drove off without another word.”

“You didn't try to stop her?” Robert asks, knowing Chas all too well.

She sighs. “I didn't,” she admits. “Not hard enough anyway. I was half asleep and confused, that's the only excuse I've got.” She pulls a face. “I should have tried harder. Wish I had. I did try ringing her, but it just rang out, she never answered. A few days later the number stopped working.”

“So they're in the wind?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened with Aaron?” Robert asks.

“I went back inside,” Chas tells him. “I was on my own that night. I was staying up at Wishing Well, it was before I owned this place. The family were all off at some cousin's wedding, can't remember whose now. I had been going to go myself, but Diane needed me to work last minute so I didn't. I'm glad I didn't now, I dread to think what she'd have done with Aaron if I hadn't been there.”

Robert raises his eyebrows, not wanting to imagine that either.

“He was upstairs,” Chas continues. “He'd locked himself in the bathroom. I remember banging on the door, trying to get him to let me in, or at least speak to me, let me know he was alright. I was worried that the bruise on his face wasn't the only one.” She pauses. “He wouldn't speak to me, and I was seriously considering kicking the door in when he finally opened it.”

“Then what?”

“He let me look at his face, but he wouldn't let me do anything else, just shook his head when I asked him if he was hurt more than that.”

“He didn't say anything?” Robert asks.

“No,” Chas replies, shaking her head. “I didn't think anything of it at the time. He was upset, Sandra said he'd had a fight with his dad, he'd been crying... I thought he just didn't want to talk cause he was upset, so I just put him to bed and decided to talk to him in the morning.”

“He wouldn't talk in the morning either would he?”

Chas shakes her head. “No,” she says. “No he wouldn't. Wouldn't say a word, not one. That's when I started to think there was something wrong. Thought at first I'd give him more time. The family came back, he wouldn't talk to any of them either, just kept himself to himself, stayed up in his room a lot. After a week I dragged him down to the doctors, but they didn't know either.” She sniffs, wiping tears from her eyes. “I gave him more time, till after Christmas. He still wouldn't speak, so I made them listen to me. They hadn't been taking me seriously so I demanded to speak to someone else, ended up taking him to the hospital, thought maybe I'd get someone to listen to me there.”

Robert can't help but smile at the mental image that produces. “What happened then?” He asks.

“I made them listen,” she tells him. “They examined him, couldn't find anything wrong so then it was referral after referral and appointment after appointment until eventually he got diagnosed with selective mutism.” She meets Robert's gaze. “Basically he can talk, there's no reason why he can't talk, he just doesn't. No-one knows why. I've tried getting him to write it down, he's seen counsellors, all sorts but no-one can tell me what happened to make him like that.” She sniffs again, fighting back the tears. “He used to talk,” she says, voice thick with emotion. “Not the chattiest, not as much as he was before me and his dad broke up but he used to tell me things. I just wish I knew why, I wish I knew what happened, what caused this.”

“Did you ever try asking Gordon?” Robert asks.

Chas nods. “He never answered his phone either. It always went straight to voicemail, then, like Sandra's, it stopped working completely.” She purses her lips. “Until today, I hadn't seen or heard from him since before I got Aaron back.”

“So you really have no idea then? What happened that night?”

“No,” Chas says. “Aaron tried to kill himself,” she blurts out. Now she's started to talk, she doesn't seem to be able to stop. “About eighteen months after Sandra dropped him off. When he woke up, after... he wouldn't talk, obviously... the doctors, they wanted to section him. I barely managed to talk them out of that, had to prove that him not talking wasn't a new thing, had to get his old therapist in and all sorts. He'd only been given so many appointments with her, so he hadn't been to see her for months at that point.”

“What happened then?”

“He had to have more therapy,” she tells him. “Intensive therapy they called it. Three times a week at one point, not that it made any difference.” She sighs. “Nothing worked, and I think it was then that I started to accept that he just wasn't going to speak again.”

“You hadn't before then?” Robert asks, curious.

She shakes her head. “No. I think I'd been hoping for a miracle, that one day he'd wake up and just talk to me, but it wasn't to be. We were living with my sister Gennie in the village at that point, the rest of the family just couldn't deal with Aaron and he wasn't coping with them so we ended up living with her for a bit,” she explains. “The only thing that changed after the suicide attempt, after the therapy was him starting to write notes.”

“He hadn't before that?”

“No. Before that he'd just nod, shake his head, point, that sort of thing. So I suppose the therapy did work in a fashion. The first thing he wrote was how he wanted to change his name to match mine, be a Dingle.” She smiles to herself. “Don't know what brought that on, maybe he just wanted to fit in with me, with the family more even though he wasn't close to them but he wouldn't tell me his reasons why, just that he wanted to. He was eighteen, nothing stopping him from doing it so he did.” Shouting echoes through from the bar, and Chas stands up. “I'd better go and see what's happening,” she says. “I've told you all I know. Will you go and check on him, see that he's alright?” She asks. Robert nods, and she leaves the room.

Alone, Robert frowns, mulling the new information over in his head. Unexplained bruises, the silence, the suicide attempt, changing his name...

None of it paints a pretty picture, and Robert is left with a cold feeling in his stomach.

Steeling himself, he decides to go upstairs and check on Aaron.

Padding up the stairs, he opens their bedroom door quietly, to find Aaron lying on his side on their bed, staring into space. “Aaron?” He asks, sighing when he gets no response. “Come on, talk to me, please?”

Aaron continues to stare into space and Robert moves around the bed, crouching down in Aaron's line of sight. “Please don't shut me out,” he asks his boyfriend. “Please Aaron.”

Aaron blinks, before rolling over and pushing himself up into a sitting position. Robert moves to sit on the side of the bed, and Aaron looks at him silently. Robert opens his arms, and Aaron leans into the offered hug, letting Robert hold him against his chest.

*

Robert doesn't know what has woken him up at first. Blinking in the darkness, he reaches over to the table on his side of the bed, hitting the light on his clock to see what time it is. Half three in the morning, he reads. Frowning, he turns over to look behind him.

After Aaron had let him hug him, they'd ended up spending the rest of the day lying on the bed, Aaron dozing where he lay curled against Robert's side. Chas had stuck her head in at one point to check on them, leaving some food which had gone uneaten. It had taken Robert all his time to get Aaron to change into the joggers and t-shirt he liked to sleep in; his boyfriend still quieter and more non-responsive than usual. Getting him to eat something had seemed pointless, so he hadn't even tried.

Now, Aaron's lit by the moonlight shining through the gap in the curtains. He's hunched over on himself, and Robert hears a quiet sniff.

Aaron's crying quietly.

Instinctively, Robert reaches to touch Aaron's shoulder to comfort him but pulls back when Aaron flinches away violently. “It's only me,” he whispers. 

Aaron looks at him in the darkness, his eyes wide, fearful. 

“Shh,” Robert says, trying to calm him. “What's happened?” He asks. “Did you have a nightmare?”

Aaron nods yes, the most communicative he's been since Gordon showed up, and Robert relaxes slightly, relieved that Aaron hasn't shut down on him completely.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He offers. Aaron shakes his head. “Do you want a hug?” He tries instead.

Aaron considers him for a moment, before shuffling across the bed, closer to Robert. He sinks into Robert's arms, relaxing in his embrace. 

Robert holds Aaron against him, finding himself at a loss. For the first time in his life, he doesn't have a clue what to do.

All he knows is one thing; he needs to get to the bottom of this, and fast.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos! So appreciated <333
> 
> Sorry for the delay with this chapter, I wasn't very well, then it was Christmas and I just didn't have the time. I know some of you were worried I'd abandoned it but I won't. It will be finished, I promise. :)
> 
> Please let me know what you think (and that you're still reading!), thank you! <3

A few days later, and Robert's none the wiser about what really went on between Aaron and his father. It's not for lack of trying, either.

He's questioned Chas again which had come to nothing; she's already told him everything she knows. He's tried asking Aaron too, but his boyfriend is refusing to talk. Any progress that Aaron had been making seems to have been scuppered by Gordon's brief appearance, cementing both Robert and Chas's theories that Aaron's silence is directly linked to Gordon, and whatever the hell happened before Sandra dumped Aaron and disappeared into the night.

As much as he wants to, he knows that he can't keep pushing Aaron. He's barely communicating as it is now, and he doesn't want him to shut down completely.

It doesn't exactly leave him with options though. He's even considered paying someone to look into it, but the knowledge that he'd be invading Aaron's privacy has stopped him on that front. 

So far, anyway...

He looks up as Aaron enters their bedroom, smiling at his boyfriend. Aaron smiles tightly in return, already dressed for bed in his usual sweatpants and loose t-shirt. Robert frowns from where he's sitting in bed, back against the headboard.

Aaron has been standoffish the last few days, and Robert's let him have his space up to now, but they've always communicated best in one particular way, and he wants to give that a try now.

As Aaron sits down on his side of the bed, swinging his legs up and onto the mattress, Robert reaches for him.

Pulling Aaron underneath himself, he presses a kiss to his lips, expecting Aaron to respond.

He doesn't.

To Robert's horror, he freezes instead, a high pitched whimper in his throat.

Robert's actions are nothing that he hasn't done before, nothing Aaron hasn't been fully into before but this...

This isn't anywhere near the reaction he'd expected.

Pulling back immediately, Robert watches with concern as Aaron curls up into a ball, rocking himself slightly.

“I'm sorry,” Robert says. “I didn't... I didn't mean to...” He swallows hard, unsure what to say. “I'll go,” he says instead, rolling to get out of bed.

He's stopped by a hand gripping his arm. Turning his head to meet Aaron's gaze, his boyfriend shakes his head no.

“You want me to stay?” He asks. Aaron nods, and Robert carefully lies back down on the mattress. He's scared to move, frightened now that even the slightest of touches will upset Aaron.

Hates where his mind is going, the thoughts that are now going through his head, the reasons that are cropping up about why Aaron's reacting the way he is.

Pushes them away. It can't be. It can't.

Not that. Anything but that.

He watches Aaron's back as he curls up, tugging the duvet over them both.

He lies quietly under the covers.

Doesn't sleep.

*

The following morning, Robert stumbles into the back room bleary eyed, desperately in need of coffee.

Aaron had had no fewer than five nightmares. One after another, it had seemed no sooner he'd fall asleep, he'd be thrashing around again, whimpering and gasping for breath. 

Subsequently, Robert hasn't slept at all, and Aaron isn't much better.

Yawning widely, Robert flicks the kettle on to boil, getting the instant coffee from the cupboard. Normally he'd avoid the stuff; it's far from his usual coffee preferences, but needs must. 

He's sipping greedily at the hot coffee, caffeine starting to hit his system, waking him up when Chas walks through the door. He murmurs a greeting to her, and she frowns at him, sitting down opposite him at the table. He raises an eyebrow in question, and she begins to speak.

“You getting anywhere with Aaron?” She asks.

Robert shakes his head, puts his mug down on the table carefully. “No,” he tells her. “He's barely communicating, I don't want to push him too far, he might shut down completely.”

She nods. “At least Gordon's had the sense not to show his face again.”

“One good thing I suppose,” Robert replies. “Though him not turning up in the first place would have been better.”

“Yeah.”

They fall into a slightly awkward silence, neither sure what to say. Aaron eventually stumbles into the room, the door from the stairs banging as he crashes through it, the noise startling all three of them. Robert and Chas stare at him silently as he gives the door a strange look before pointedly ignoring both of them as he makes his way across the room, straight for the kettle to make himself a cup of tea.

“I'll erm...” Chas starts. “Delivery.” She finishes, the excuse clear as she all but makes a run for it out of the room. Robert sighs, turns to his boyfriend who is stirring what seems like half a bag of sugar into his mug of tea. Robert winces as Aaron puts yet another spoonful in, but doesn't otherwise comment.

Aaron eventually comes over to sit in Chas's vacated chair, sipping at his tea. Robert waits until he puts the mug down before speaking. “Aaron come on,” he tries. “You had nightmares, quite a few of them last night,” he says. “Something's wrong, all of this is since your-” He pauses. “Since Gordon showed his face,” he says instead. “It's obviously connected, I'm not stupid. Will you please just tell me what's wrong? Maybe I can fix it?”

Aaron stares at him silently, expressionless.

“Aaron... please?” Robert isn't above begging. Not where Aaron's concerned anyway.

Aaron looks down at his mug briefly, then looks up again, meeting Robert's gaze. He shakes his head slightly.

Robert sighs. “I just want to help.” He says. “That's all.”

Aaron shakes his head again, then for the first time in days, reaches over to pick up the notepad from the coffee table. He writes on it, then shoves it towards Robert.

You can't, the notepad says.

Robert blinks at the words, looks back up at Aaron who stands up, leaving the room without so much as a backward glance.

Robert groans, rests his forehead on the table.

*

Robert eventually dragged himself upstairs and got dressed, passing Aaron on his way out the door. He doesn't know where to, Aaron didn't volunteer any information on that front.

Now he's back on the sofa in the back room. The telly's on but he hasn't got a clue what he's watching, some random daytime soap he thinks. It looks ridiculous, whatever it is.

He flicks it off as the door from the bar opens. He tips his head back to see who it is, hoping it's Aaron.

It's not.

Chas walks around to stand in front of him, biting her lip. “What's wrong?” He asks, sitting up straight. Her expression is not a happy one.

“Gordon came back.” She says shortly.

Robert's heart skips a beat. “What?” He says, suddenly on his feet. “When?”

“Just now,” she tells him. “I sent him packing, he's gone, but...” She rubs a hand over her mouth. “Where's Aaron?” She asks, looking around the room as if her son is hiding in a corner.

“He went out,” Robert says. “A while ago. Didn't take his car keys.”

She pales. “What if... what if he sees Gordon?” She says, panic creeping into her voice. “He won't tell us what happened but it had to be something bad, what if he sees him, is on his own with him? What if they end up arguing or worse?”

“Don't worry,” Robert says, trying to reassure her. “I'll find him.”

“I'm on my own in there,” she says, waving a hand in the vague direction of the bar. “I need to ring someone, get someone here to cover,” she says, pulling her phone from her pocket.

Robert places a hand over her phone, gently stopping her. “Just give me fifteen minutes,” he says. “He's probably just gone for a walk, I'm sure he's fine. If I can't find him in that time... then we'll just close up, get everyone out looking, yeah?”

She doesn't look convinced, but nods anyway. “Alright,” she says. “I'm going to ring Bob though,” she mutters, tapping at her phone screen. “Just in case.”

“Alright,” Robert says. “I'll find him, don't worry.”

Turning, he darts around the sofa and into the hallway, grabbing his jacket in one hand as he twists the lock on the door with the other, stepping out into the cool early April air.

*

Aaron has his head down, watching the ground beneath his feet as opposed to paying attention to his surroundings as he rounds the corner of Pear Tree Cottage, heading down the side of the pub towards the back door.

He needs to apologise to Robert for being so standoffish. His Mum too for that matter. He can't tell them the truth, can't ever tell them that but he owes them something.

He'll have to make something up, he decides. A fight, a beating maybe. Something bad, bad enough to explain things, to explain the way he's been acting the last few days, just not... that.

He's so focused on the ground he doesn't see or hear anyone approaching, so is caught completely by surprise when he's grabbed roughly, thrown against the stone wall of the pub. Looking up, he's met with the face that haunts his nightmares.

“Hello son,” Gordon says, face inches from his own.

Aaron swallows hard, glances quickly from side to side, looking for an escape route. 

Or help.

He finds neither. Straightening his spine, he stands tall, trying to show Gordon that he's not frightened.

He's not sure how successful he is. Judging by the sneer on his father's face, not very.

“Don't worry,” Gordon says. “I'm not gonna hurt you.”

Aaron doesn't believe that for a second. He glances around again, but they're still alone.

“I just want to say thank you,” Gordon continues. 

Aaron frowns, seriously confused now.

Gordon smirks. “You're a good boy,” he tells him. “I heard you haven't uttered a word since Sandra dropped you off. You kept quiet, like I always told you to.” His smirk grows, glee in his eyes now. “My lessons taught you something at least,” he finishes.

Aaron flinches. He doesn't understand. Gordon doesn't know that he spoke to Robert, so... why is he here?

“I was in the area, thought I'd come and make sure you'd kept your mouth shut like I told you to,” Gordon explains. “Now I know you have like the good boy I know you are, I don't need to worry do I?” He pats Aaron's shoulder. “I'll be going now,” he says. “Remember... not a word.”

He turns, heading towards the main street. Aaron sags, sliding down the wall slightly as fear takes hold.

Before he hits the ground, a hand grabs his elbow, steadying him. He flinches, can't help himself before looking up and seeing Robert, a mixture of confusion and anger on his face.

“You want to tell me what all that was about?” Robert says, helping Aaron to his feet. “I heard some of it but I don't know if I heard it all.”

*

Aaron stares at him silently, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. Robert supposes that's exactly how he feels right now.

He has to tread carefully.

The alarm bells that have been ringing in his head for days now have hit a whole new level of volume, and he really really hopes he's wrong, that he's on the complete wrong track here but...

Deep down. Deep down he knows.

He just needs Aaron to tell him.

Aaron looks from his face down to the ground, sighing heavily. He sniffs, reaching a hand up to rub at his face roughly before looking up again, meeting Robert's gaze once more.

He tips his head to his right, starting to walk away. Pauses, looks at Robert pointedly and Robert begins to follow him.

Aaron leads him down the back of the row of houses, well away from anywhere Gordon might be, across the garage forecourt, then through the trees.

Robert follows him, trusting that Aaron knows where he's going even though he himself hasn't a clue. Reaching for his phone, he texts Chas quickly, telling her that Aaron's with him and they'll be back at some point, before flicking his phone onto silent in case she replies.

He doesn't want anything to potentially interrupt what Aaron might be about to tell him.

Eventually they end up at a small clearing down by the river. It's a fair distance away from the village, and Robert can't say he's ever been here before, which considering he grew up here is no mean feat.

It's a pretty place, where Aaron's led him. Blossom on the trees overhanging the water, spring flowers in bloom.

Aaron sits down on the riverbank. Robert joins him, close but not too close as to crowd him. “Why here?” He can't help but ask.

Aaron produces his own phone from his pocket, tapping on the screen before showing it to Robert.

“You come here to practice talking,” Robert reads. “It's a nice place to do it,” he observes.

Aaron shrugs one shoulder, nonchalant. 

“You going to tell me what that was all about?” Robert asks, straight to the point.

Aaron glances at him, shrugs again, and Robert realises he's probably going to have to say it himself.

“It didn't end well, between you and Gordon all those years ago, did it?” He asks, deciding to start small.

Aaron shakes his head.

“Did you have a fight, that night?”

Aaron nods.

“Did he hit you?”

Aaron looks at him, tears in his eyes.

“Did he beat you?” Robert asks, needing to get to the truth. He can't stop now, he knows this is his best chance.

Aaron swallows, keeps staring at him.

“Was it worse than that?” Robert asks, voice steady.

Aaron looks away at that, and Robert has his answer.

“Was it...” He takes a breath. “Was it sexual?” He asks.

Aaron nods jerkily, refusing to look at him now, and tears fill Robert's own eyes.

“Did he rape you?”

Aaron nods.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos! Please keep them coming so I know you're still reading (plus comments make me happy, they really really do <3)!
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Discussions of rape/self harm/past suicide attempt.

“How old were you?” Robert finds himself blurting. “Sorry,” he quickly corrects himself. He doesn't know what to say, how to act, what to do... suspecting the truth and knowing it are two very very different things, he's discovering.

Aaron turns his head, looks straight at him. Slowly, oh so slowly, he raises his hands, palms out.

Four fingers up on each, thumbs tucked across his palms.

Eight fingers.

Eight years old...

Bile rises in Robert's throat. He swallows hard, forcing it down. “Was it just once?” He asks thickly. Aaron shakes his head and the sick feeling rises again in Robert's throat. He forces it down again, making himself speak, concentrating on Aaron over his own feelings. “How many times?” He asks. He has to know, needs to know just what he's hating Gordon for, and above that, he feels that if Aaron can manage to tell him everything, somehow it'll help him too.

Aaron raises just one hand this time, four fingers showing. Four times... Robert closes his eyes briefly, opening them again to see Aaron watching him sadly.

Without prompting, Aaron indicates ten, then twelve with his fingers. Roberts eyes are wet when he speaks. “The last time was before you ended up back here, wasn't it?” He asks. “When you were...” He works it out. “Sixteen, nearly seventeen?”

Aaron nods.

“Is that why you don't talk?” Robert says. “I heard... what he was saying to you before,” he explains. “Is that why?”

Aaron looks at him, fear in his eyes. He's not scared of Robert, that he knows for sure but the fact that Gordon is nowhere near them and can still cause that kind of reaction...

Robert raises his hands in a calming gesture. “It's alright,” he says. “He's not here.”

Aaron puts his hands over his face, hiding. His body shakes, and Robert hears sniffing noises. “Shh,” he says. “You're safe here. I won't let him, let anyone hurt you.”

Aaron moves his hands, peers at him with red rimmed eyes. “Scared,” he whispers, so quietly Robert almost misses it.

He shuffles closer to Aaron, touches his shoulder gently. Aaron looks at his hand, then at Robert, before all but collapsing into his arms. Robert catches him, cradling him against his chest. Aaron's bony shoulder digs in awkwardly but he doesn't care; just wraps his arms firmly around his boyfriend, holding him close as he sobs against him. “Shh,” he soothes. “You're safe. I promise.”

Eventually, after several long minutes, Aaron calms enough to speak. “Said I was bad,” he mutters, pushing himself up slightly, holding his own weight now instead of resting against Robert.

“Who did?” Robert asks. “Gordon?”

Aaron nods. “Deserved it,” he mumbles next, giving Robert a brief, haunted glance. He might be talking, but his words are halting, measured. Forced, almost.

“You didn't,” Robert is quick to tell him. “No-one ever deserves that.” Aaron shrugs one shoulder in response, and Robert uses one hand to gently turn Aaron's head so they're facing each other. “You didn't deserve that,” he tells him again. “You didn't deserve any of it.”

Aaron sniffs, leans into Robert a little bit more. “Thought he knew,” he says, slowly.

“You thought he knew what?” Robert asks, confused. Aaron doesn't offer an explanation, and Robert frowns, trying to work it out. “You thought...” He thinks hard, trying to work out what it could be. “You thought he knew you'd spoken, that you'd said something to me?” He tries. It's the only thing it could be surely, he thinks. Aaron had spoken not long before Gordon turned up, and if the whole lot of it is tied together then... it has to be.

Aaron nods, confirming Robert's assumption.

“That's why you wouldn't say anything, after he showed up the first time,” Robert realises. “You thought he knew somehow, and you were scared he would come back?”

Aaron nods again. He seems to have gone mute again, but Robert doesn't push him. The fact that he had spoken at all, let alone the nine words he had offered was nothing short of a miracle, considering everything.

“This is why you have those scars, isn't it?” He asks, curiosity taking over for a moment. “Why you tried to end it too?” Aaron nods, looks at him. “You wanted it to stop?” Robert guesses. Aaron nods again silently.

Robert wraps his arms around Aaron's shoulders, and Aaron curls up tightly against him, pulling his knees up to his chest, making himself as small as possible while Robert wraps his larger body, his longer limbs around him. “I won't let him hurt you ever again,” he says into Aaron's hair. “I promise.”

Aaron tucks his head into Robert's neck. “Thank you,” he whispers into Robert's ear.

Robert leans back slightly so he can see Aaron's face. “What for?” He asks him, before it dawns on him. “For believing you?” Aaron nods, and Robert's heart breaks just that little bit more. “Of course I believe you,” he tells him. “Don't ever doubt that.”

Aaron nods against his chest as Robert grips him tighter.

*

They walk up the street towards the pub, joined hands swinging between them. Robert is pleased to see that there's no sign of Gordon, or any strange cars in the vicinity. He hopes that means that the man has left. Aaron doesn't need any more stress, even if Robert really, really wants to punch Gordon in the face.

He'd like to do a hell of a lot more than that, but he also knows that if he starts, he won't be able to stop.

They round the corner at the back of the pub, walking across the car park and around the low wall that separates the 'beer garden' (if you can call two picnic tables on some flagstones that), from the private parking for the pubs residents. Robert fishes his keys out of his pocket as they reach the door marked private, and Aaron puts a hand on his arm, stopping him before he puts his key into the lock. “What?” Robert asks gently, watching as Aaron retrieves his phone from his jeans, tapping on the notes app before turning it so Robert can see the screen.

Mum needs to know, the text says. Robert looks from the screen up to Aaron. “You sure?” He asks. Aaron nods, tapping again.

She's never understood stuff but I need her to. She's been there for me through everything, I owe her the truth, Robert reads from the screen. “Alright then,” he says. “Do you want me to tell her?” He offers, unsure if Aaron wants, or indeed is able to consider speaking to Chas himself.

Aaron considers for a moment, before nodding. It's not that I don't want to tell her myself, he types into his phone. I just...

“Can't yet?” Robert finishes for him. Aaron nods at him with a soft smile. “Come on,” Robert says. “Let's go see if she's around, we can do it now.” He pauses, keys in the lock. “If that's alright?” He checks.

Aaron nods, and they head inside.

*

His Mum is tidying up the kitchen when they walk in. Robert's slightly in front, and Aaron steps to the side, brushing his fingers over his boyfriends as he moves to stand slightly in front of him, the brief skin on skin contact giving him the strength he needs to do this.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Robert go to speak, so he reaches back, laying a hand on his arm to stop him.

His Mum is so busy clattering dishes around, tidying everything in sight she hasn't noticed that they're there yet. He braces himself, clears his throat.

She turns, breathing a visible sigh of relief when she sees him. “Oh sweetheart,” she says. “I was worried. Gordon turned back up and well... I didn't know where you were.”

He smiles, a small, sad smile and her expression changes, becoming one of mild confusion. She turns slightly to the side, a mug in her hands.

“Mum,” he says, forcing the word past his lips. It feels almost alien, he hasn't said it for so long. He hadn't said it for a couple of years even before... everything.

The mug, which he's fairly sure she was intending to put down next to the sink, misses, falling to the floor and shattering. She turns, her mouth wide open, unable to believe what she's just heard.

He blinks and she's in front of him, she must have crossed the room in two steps he thinks. He knows she can't have, but it feels like that. She cups his cheeks in her hands, tears in her eyes. “Did you just...?” She asks him, voice full of wonder. He nods, and the tears fall, running down her cheeks as she pulls him against her. “Oh Aaron,” she says into his shoulder. “You spoke. You spoke!”

His arms come up around her gingerly, hands pressing against her back as he hugs her in return. He feels Robert getting pulled into the hug too, his boyfriend's body pressing against his back suddenly as he gets sandwiched between the both of them. Eventually, when he's starting to think he's going to have to push them away just so he can breathe, she pulls back, looking at him with joy.

He feels so guilty for what she's about to find out, but he knows that if she doesn't find out now, he won't find the courage again to tell her. He looks to Robert, silently asking him to say the words for him.

“Chas,” Robert starts. “Why don't you sit down?” He says gently, waving a hand at the sofa.

“What?” She replies, tearing her gaze from Aaron's face. “Why? What's wrong?”

Aaron looks down at his feet as Robert continues to speak. “Just sit down yeah?” He's saying. “There's something you need to know.”

*

Chas is gripping the edge of the dining table so tightly her knuckles are bright white. Tears stream down her face; not the happy ones she'd cried when Aaron had spoken to her, no.

These tears were those of anger. Of devastation.

“I...” She says. “I don't know what to say.”

Robert had told her all he knew, which wasn't much, Aaron hadn't been able to tell him anything other than the basic details, but the basics were horrific enough.

Aaron watches as she comes back to herself, crossing the room and crouching down in front of Aaron where he's sat on the sofa next to Robert. “I am so sorry,” she says through her tears. “I would never have left you with him had I any idea he was capable of that. You know that, don't you?”

Aaron nods, taking her hands in his own. He knows that, has always known that. His Mum is a lot of things, but she'd never have left him with Gordon if she'd known, that is something he's never ever doubted.

She squeezes his hands. “So what now?” She asks both of them. “He could come back... there's nothing stopping him. He could just walk right back in here and...” She trails off.

Robert looks to him, not knowing what to say.

Aaron does though. He knows exactly what he has to do.

“Police.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments, and over 600 kudos now WOW! Thank you, really. <333
> 
> Chapter Warning: Mentions of rape.

Aaron walks into the reception area of the police station. It's small, claustrophobic. A few plastic chairs are against one wall, bolted into place opposite the reception desk, manned by a uniformed officer.

Nerves fill him; he's suddenly unsure. He knows he made the right decision yesterday but... knowing it's the right thing to do and actually doing it are two very different things. Knowing it's right doesn't make what he's got to do next any easier, does it?

Robert walks past him, squeezing his shoulder gently as he does. Aaron watches as his boyfriend goes up to the desk to speak to the officer. His Mum had wanted to come with him too, but he'd stopped her. He doesn't need a circus, doesn't need a horde of people giving him moral support.

Robert is the only one he needs.

He's only half listening as Robert explains to the officer why they're there; intrigued instead by the posters that cover the wall behind the plastic chairs. One of them is encouraging victims of sexual assault to come forward and report it.

He swallows.

Jumping slightly in fright as a hand lands on his shoulder, he whirls around only to see Robert looking at him wide-eyed with concern.

“Sorry,” Robert says. “Didn't mean to startle you.” He turns slightly, points at a blue door at the back of reception. “We have to go through there,” he says. “There's someone coming down to talk to us.”

Aaron nods, lets Robert lead the way through the blue door. They're met by a uniformed officer on the other side. She leads them both through winding corridors, to a larger room with seats. “DS Cadogan will be with you shortly,” she says, before going back the way she came. Aaron glances at the other occupants of the room; a tall, thin boy sitting with an adult in one corner, and a girl in her late teens messing with her phone on the opposite wall.

True to her word, DS Cadogan appears a few minutes later. In her early forties, her brown hair is tied back in a loose ponytail, smart pants and shirt covered by a bright pink mottled cardigan that looks a few sizes too big for her. “Hello,” she says, offering a hand. “I'm DS Cadogan,” she introduces herself.

Robert stands, shakes her hand. “Robert Sugden,” he says. “This is Aaron Dingle,” he introduces them both to her. “Did the officer tell you about...” he adds, his voice pitched lower, mindful that they aren't the only ones in the room.

“Yes,” DS Cadogan confirms. “Shall we go through?” She says, indicating a door.

Robert nods, and Aaron stands up, following his boyfriend through the door. DS Cadogan is last inside, flicking the lights on as she enters.

It's a soft interview room, he realises. A small grey sofa facing two matching soft fabric chairs, a coffee table between them. Pale green walls, an almost empty white bookshelf, it's all designed to look comfortable, homely, yet the only thing Aaron can see is the cameras, three of them, all pointed at the sofa.

Steeling himself, he sits down at the left hand end of the sofa, Robert plonking himself down next to him. He reaches across, grabbing for and holding onto Robert's hand firmly.

Glancing sideways, their eyes meet and Robert gives him a reassuring nod, squeezing his hand gently.

DS Cadogan sits in one of the chairs facing them. “Okay,” she says. “Normally we would insist that you be here alone Aaron, but considering the circumstances Robert can stay with you, if that's what you want.” Aaron nods, and she continues. “I do have to ask Robert, that you remain silent, and don't communicate with Aaron in any way, as it could affect the statement if this gets to court.”

“If?” Robert asks.

“We have to examine Aaron's statement,” she explains. “Then we have to gather evidence, other interviews have to be conducted then it's all up to the CPS.” She smiles gently. “This is just the beginning, but I'll be here for you the whole way, and any questions you have, I will answer them to the best of my ability.”

Robert nods, Aaron copying him.

“Okay,” she says. “Robert, I have to ask that you not be touching Aaron in any way, I'm sorry,” she says, tipping her head at their joined hands. Aaron squeezes Robert's hand quickly before letting it go, folding his hands together in his lap instead.

“Right,” she says, turning and nodding at the camera directly behind her. A red recording light appears on it, and Aaron breathes out slowly as she says the date and time, introduces herself, then both of them before briefly explaining that he's mute. He looks up as she finally addresses him directly. “Okay Aaron,” she says. “Can you tell me why you're here today?” She asks.

He wants to. He does. He's barely slept thinking about how he's doing to manage this, and he thought he'd persuaded himself that he could do it.

Turns out...

He opens his mouth. Tries to talk. Nothing comes out. Twisting his face up in frustration, he clenches his hands together in his lap. He senses Robert next to him, knows that all Robert wants to to is touch him, comfort him but he's not allowed to. He sighs angrily.

“Alright, it's alright,” she says to him, his distress obvious. She produces a large pad of paper and a marker pen from her bag, putting them on the coffee table and pushing them towards him. “Could you write it down for me, then hold it up, for the camera?”

He sniffs, nods. Picking up the marker pen, he flips the cover over on the pad of paper. Writes 'I'm here because my father, Gordon Livesy, raped me.' in capital letters, as large as he can while fitting all of the sentence on the page, before turning the book around, holding it up to the camera.

Dropping the pad back to the table, he takes a shuddering breath, before looking at the detective, waiting for the next question.

*

In the end, he'd had to complete two statements; a video and a written one.

His voice had failed him entirely, leaving him unable to utter so much as one word in the soft interview room, so his first statement had ended up being an almost repeat of his telling Robert what had happened to him. A series of nods, shakes of the head and using his fingers to indicate numbers and ages. The pad of paper had been used too, writing down dates and the like.

After they'd finished the video statement, such as it was, DS Cadogan had left the room for a short while, before coming back and explaining that she'd talked to her DI about the problems, and it was felt that a written statement explaining in full what had happened would be beneficial, if Aaron was up to it of course.

It was one of the hardest things he'd ever done, writing it all out like that, but with Robert at his side he'd managed, eventually signing his name at the bottom after it had been typed up with a sigh of relief.

Oddly, writing it all out, saying it even to a piece of paper had felt cathartic. He's never told anyone the whole story before, still hadn't, not really but even just writing it all down... he doesn't know if it's like that for anyone else, but it's helped him, even just a small amount.

Robert is at his side as they walk into the back room of the pub, which is thankfully empty. Robert goes to make straight for the kitchen and the kettle but Aaron stops him with a hand on his arm.

Robert turns, looks at him. “You alright?” He asks, before pulling a face. “Stupid question, sorry. How you doing?” He asks instead, watching him carefully for any change in his facial expression. It should unnerve him, Aaron thinks, that direct, penetrating gaze, so attentive and fixed directly on him but it doesn't. If it was anyone else, they'd probably tell Robert where to go but with him...

He can't quite describe it, other than it makes him feel... important. Ever since he came to live here in Emmerdale he's felt ignored, sometimes even invisible. He knows that it's because he doesn't talk, people tend to forget he's there and since they won't get a response, they just don't bother. He'd gotten used to it over the years. His Mum, she tries, she does but she's not perfect and he doesn't expect her to be. When it's just the two of them, just him and his Mum he never feels that way, but when they're in a room with a lot of Dingles she tends to get caught up in their special brand of madness and he gets forgotten about.

It's one of the reasons he avoids them; if he keeps away from the big gatherings... well he can't be forgotten about and ignored if he's not there, can he?

Somehow though, somehow he knows that Robert would never do that, never forget about him even if there was a lot of distraction.

It's a good feeling.

“Thanks,” he says, his voice coming back under his control now he's away from the stress of the police station, of statements and memories and things that he hasn't thought about for years.

“What for?” Robert asks him. “For being there? You needed me, I was there, you don't need to thank me for that.”

Aaron smiles at him, strokes his arm gently.

Robert smiles back. “Let's just hope the police can help,” Robert says, putting a hand on Aaron's shoulder, rubbing his thumb over Aaron's collarbone.

“Police?”

They turn as one, Aaron to the side, Robert completely around to face the door that leads through from the bar.

Victoria is standing there, one hand still on the door handle, clearly having just come into the room. “What's this about police?” She asks again.

Robert glances at him sideways with wide eyes, clearly at a loss at what to say, how to cover. Aaron looks between Robert and his sister. He doesn't know what to do either.

“What's wrong?” Victoria pushes. “Chas has been on edge all morning, she snapped at me when I went to ask her opinion on todays specials and she never does that. What's happened?”

Aaron makes a decision. Turning to Robert, he stands up on his tiptoes. “Tell her,” he whispers in Robert's ear, then presses a kiss to his boyfriends cheek to disguise that he spoke. Robert looks at him, silently asking if he's sure. He nods once, firmly, then heads for the door. Offering a small smile at Victoria as she moves out of the way to let him past, he closes the door behind himself before walking through to the bar to find his Mum.

*

“Raped?” Victoria says, raising her left hand to cover her mouth. “Oh my god.”

Robert nods. “We've just come back from the police station,” he tells her. “Aaron made a statement.”

“How long have you known?” She asks him.

“Just since yesterday,” he says. “I've suspected for longer though. Since Gordon first showed his evil, nasty face.”

Vic nods. “He was so young...” she says quietly.

“Yeah.”

“It explains a few things though,” she says. Robert looks at her, confused. “Him being mute,” she elaborates. “I looked it up. Can be caused by trauma, apparently. I think that covers it.”

Robert blows out a breath. “Yeah,” he says. He doesn't know what else to say. There really aren't words for what Aaron's been through, for how strong he is, how much stronger he's proving himself to be especially today.

The door squeaks as it opens, and they both look up to see Aaron coming back through from the bar, two beer bottles in his hands.

“I'd better get back to work,” Vic says, getting up from the table where they're both sitting. She pauses when she reaches Aaron's side and for a moment Robert thinks she's going to say something to him, but she doesn't, instead reaching up and giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before leaving the room, the door swinging shut behind her.

Aaron comes over to the table, sitting down in Victoria's vacated chair he puts one of the beer bottles down in front of Robert. It's already opened; Aaron must have done it before he came through. “Bit early,” Robert comments. Aaron shrugs one shoulder, has a drink from the bottle. Robert mirrors him.

Aaron looks at him pointedly, and Robert knows what he's asking. “It went fine,” he says. “She's promised not to say anything to anyone else.” Aaron nods, and Robert can't help himself. “Something she said though, got me thinking,” he adds.

Aaron puts his bottle down on the table and tilts his head to the side, waiting for Robert to explain.

“She said it explained some things,” Robert tells him. “You not talking. She'd looked it up on the internet, said one thing that can cause selective muteness is trauma.” Aaron nods, still confused and Robert continues. “Obviously it was what happened with... with Gordon that caused it all but it had been going on for years, and you didn't stop speaking until after the last time...” He trails off, unsure how to put it.

Aaron takes a deep, shuddering breath. He stiffens slightly, as if bracing himself. “He...” He starts. “Always said to shut up.”

“Gordon did?”

Aaron nods. “Couldn't tell anyone,” he forces out. The words are clipped, it's clearly a struggle for Aaron to say them but Robert doesn't try to stop him. “Or it'd happen again.” He breathes slowly, carefully. “Did anyway, but...” He trails off, twisting his fingers together where his hands sit on the table.

Robert closes his eyes, shaking his head slightly. He wants to strangle Gordon. Slowly. “Alright,” he says eventually. “But how did that turn into not talking at all?” He asks.

Aaron shrugs. “Dunno,” he says quietly, slowly. “That last time...” He shudders. Robert dreads to think why. Aaron hadn't let him see his written statement when he was writing it, or when it was finished so he has no clue what Aaron's referring to, and obviously Aaron doesn't want him to know the details either. “At some point it just stuck,” Aaron blurts. “Until I met you.”

“Special, am I?” Robert jokes, grinning.

Aaron snorts, but nods anyway, and Robert finds himself standing up, tugging Aaron to his feet to and into a hug.

They're standing there, arms wrapped firmly around each other when the door to the pub opens slightly, having not clicked shut properly behind Victoria. The radio is on in the bar, and the sound filters through.

Robert recognises the song, and has the overwhelming urge to dance with Aaron, right there in the back room of the pub he owns half of.

So he does; swaying gently, Aaron gives him a strange look at first but goes along with it, and they find themselves dancing. Sort of, anyway. Adele playing softly in the background.

_'To make you feel my love...'_


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast update this time! Thank you so much for all of your comments, please keep letting me know what you think! <333
> 
> Chapter Warning: Panic attack.

It's been over a week since Aaron went to the police station, and he's heard nothing back. Robert has phoned them on his behalf three times, but every time it's the same answer; they'll get in touch when they have some information.

Rationally, he knows it's not going to be quick. They have to speak to Gordon, they have to try and gather evidence, all of that. Robert has given a statement, as has his Mum but they need more than that. He has to be patient, he knows he does...

It's just not easy.

He spends his days half expecting Gordon to come charging into the pub. He hasn't, but the one shift he's done since going to the police had been cut short after he'd spent more time looking between each door, jumping every time one of them opened than he did actually serving customers.

He'd managed to say enough words to explain the problem to Robert and his Mum, and since then he's been on barrel changing duty, sorting the delivery out before they open, and helping to tidy up after closing only. He never goes into the pub when it's open, not now.

He misses it.

He never thought he would, but he does.

He's just got to hope that they'll arrest Gordon soon, then he doesn't have to worry about going to work, of all things.

He's taken to hovering, much as he is now, in the hallway that lies behind the bar. His preferred place is near the kitchen, leaning against the wall beside the crisps (nicking the odd packet), but he has hung around near the cellar door the odd time too.

He likes it; he can hear the bustle of the pub, hear what people are saying if they talk loud enough, but no-one can see him.

“So where is he then?” He hears. Edging closer to the opening, he listens hard. “Haven't seen him for days!”

It's Zak, he realises. Talking about him again. It's not the first time. Various Dingles have been in, Cain, Lisa, Sam, even Belle asking where he is, and while his Mum has been giving them a lot of excuses, Robert too, he knows they're starting to wear thin.

“He's reorganising the cellar for me,” Chas says.

“Thought he did that on Monday?” Zak replies with confusion.

“Oh erm,” his Mum falters, scrabbling for an excuse.

“He did,” he hears Robert covering. “But Chas didn't like his idea of 'organised' so now he's doing it again.”

“Mmm,” Zak replies, unconvinced.

Robert appears in the doorway moments later, turning towards the kitchen when he sees Aaron in his hiding place. “We need to think of a better reason,” he says to Aaron quietly. “They're getting suss.”

Aaron looks at his feet, then back up to Robert. Biting his lip, he whispers. “Maybe they should know.”

Robert shuffles him gently to the side so he can lean against the wall next to him. “It's up to you,” he says.

“Feel guilty,” Aaron whispers. “Having to lie for me.”

“Hey,” Robert says, turning to face him. “We'll make up all the excuses under the sun if we have to, don't worry about that. There's a certain element of fun in making stuff up, to be honest.” He jokes. Sobering, he continues. “But... when they charge him...”

“If.”

“When,” Robert stresses. “When they charge him... it'll get out. People will find out.”

“I should tell them?”

Robert sighs. “I think it would be better hearing it from family, than someone else... and it would let you keep as much control over it as possible. But, it's up to you. Whatever you want to do, me and your mum, we're behind you all the way.”

Before Aaron can say anything else, Chas appears from the bar too. “Zak's gone,” she says. “Gave me a right funny look before he left. We need a better excuse. A proper one, not your fabricated in thirty seconds ones,” she says, looking pointedly at Robert.

“Tell them,” Aaron blurts. “Tell them.”

She blinks, moves to stand in front of him. “Are you sure?” She asks him.

Aaron nods. “Tell them.”

She looks to Robert. “I'll cover,” he says. “Go do it now, yeah?”

She nods, pulls Aaron into a quick hug. “I'll be back soon,” she says, before heading off through the back.

Once she's gone, Robert looks at him. “You alright?”

Aaron shrugs.

*

An hour later, and he starts to seriously regret his choice when his Mum comes back, followed by seemingly every Dingle that lives in the village. Zak, Lisa, Belle, Sam, Marlon, Cain, Moira, Debbie... they troop through the door one after the other. It seems never ending.

He's just managed to talk himself into going through to the bar; now he wants nothing more than to sprint back through to the back, lock the door and hide again.

Steeling himself, he shifts closer to Robert, who looks just as horrified at the influx of Dingles as he is. He looks at Robert, hoping the sheer panic is clear in his eyes, and Robert brushes their fingers together, hidden behind the bar.

“What's all this?” Robert asks, his voice a strange cross between fake cheeriness and 'what the hell is this?'.

His Mum looks more than a little bit flustered. “I told them,” she says, after glancing around to make sure the pub is free of any other customers. It was quiet anyway, but the two that had still been there had made a quick exit on seeing the crowd arrive. “And they decided they all needed to come down here to show their support.”

Aaron blinks, eyeing the Dingles, all lined up now on the opposite side of the bar, looking at him expectantly. He gulps.

If some sort of disaster could hit right now, he wouldn't complain. Much.

Inching ever closer to Robert, he feels his boyfriend's arm come up around his waist. At least he doesn't have to say anything, he thinks. He might be getting better by the day at saying things to Robert, and to his Mum but anyone else? Nope.

He can't say he's bothered about that, either.

“We er, we haven't been here for you lad,” Zak says, the first to speak. “But we're here now.” He coughs, awkward. “We realised that after you changed your name, we never welcomed you into the family properly so we're going to do that now.”

Aaron's eyes widen. He has no idea what Zak is talking about, and when Sam starts waving a big, dirty green welly in the air, he's not sure he wants to know.

*

The party... gathering... whatever the hell it is, is a blur.

Apparently, 'becoming a Dingle' means either being seen naked by a senior Dingle bloke, which... no way in hell, or drinking a full welly of ale.

The latter choice was less horrifying, but incredibly disgusting. He doesn't know when that welly was last cleaned... if it ever has been.

He's trying not to think about it.

After he'd drank his fill and been slapped on the back by more hands than he's sure there are Dingles in the room, he'd hoped for escape. He'd hoped that maybe they'd leave.

No such luck.

Their next decision had proved to be more entertaining at least. Robert, as Aaron's 'other half', half owner of the Woolpack and the Dingles new favourite person it seems, had been informed that he too, was 'joining the family'.

Watching Robert drinking from the welly, getting it tipped higher by Cain when he starts to struggle, is funny, he can't deny it.

Finally draining the thing dry, Robert makes his escape, stumbling to Aaron's side. “I think I'm going to be sick,” he mutters, leaning his head into Aaron's shoulder.

Aaron shuffles to the side quickly, nearly sending Robert crashing to the floor. Catching himself on the wall, Robert gives him an odd look. Aaron raises his eyebrows, and Robert burps loudly. “Oh, that's better,” he says. “I feel better now.”

Aaron shakes his head, torn between disgust and endearment. This must be what love does, he thinks. Not being grossed out by your boyfriend burping in the middle of a packed pub after drinking a welly full of ale.

The next hour passes excruciatingly slowly. He sticks close to Robert's side the whole time, grateful for his boyfriend's reassuring arm that remains wrapped firmly around his waist while they negotiate the horde of Dingles. Without it, he honestly feels as though he'd get swept up in the crowd, never to be seen again.

The drunker they all get, the rowdier they get too, downing pints after pint like it's water, his Mum's protests drowned out by the noise. Belle seems to have disappeared, Debbie too, saying something about kids needing picked up but the rest of them remain. 

They come up to him one by one, telling them how sorry they are, how they should have noticed, should have realised.

Shouldn't have ignored him.

Should have tried harder with him.

Regret after regret after regret is launched at him.

It's too much.

It's too noisy. Too hot. Too... everything.

He's feeling more and more claustrophobic by the minute, to the point that even Robert's presence isn't enough to help. 

He needs to get out.

The air is thinning, he's too hot, the walls... they're closing in.

He needs to get out.

Feeling the panic as it starts to engulf him, he pulls away from Robert, needing to find the door, to get outside while he still can.

Fumbling for the handle, he opens it, careering through one, then another door into blissful, sweet fresh air.

He stumbles down the steps, to the picnic tables at the front of the pub, gulping air like a goldfish. Leaning forward, he puts his palms flat on the table, focuses on his breathing like he knows he has to.

“Hey, hey,” he hears Robert's voice, then his boyfriend's warm presence next to him. Robert takes his left hand, moving it from the table to hold it against his own chest. “Breathe with me,” Robert says, deliberately making his breathing loud and slow, measured to help him calm down.

He copies Robert as best as he can, feeling the panic subside as the fresh, cool air does it's job. It's starting to get dark, he notices as he finally looks up to his surroundings.

They end up sitting side by side at the picnic table. “You alright now?” Robert asks him after a few minutes, Aaron's breathing almost back to normal.

He nods, leans his head against Robert's shoulder, feeling exhausted all of a sudden.

“We can go around the back, sneak off upstairs if you want,” Robert suggests. “Or we can go around, get my car keys and go somewhere else, if you'd rather?”

Aaron's trying to make his mind up when a dark car pulls up in front of the pub. DS Cadogan climbs out, and he lifts his head, wondering why she's here.

“Hello Aaron, Robert,” she says. “You mind?” She asks, waving a hand at the opposite side of the table.

“Not at all,” Robert says. “Have you got some news?” He asks, straight to the point.

“I do,” she says with a smile. “I wanted to tell you in person, I felt given the circumstances that would be better.”

“Right...” Robert says, wary. “Is it bad news?”

Aaron chews on his lip, worried.

“No, no,” she's quick to reassure them and Aaron breathes a sigh of relief.

“So, what is it?” Robert asks, almost demanding.

“I came to tell you that Gordon Livesy was arrested a few hours ago, and is being charged as we speak,” she tells them.

“You got the evidence?” Robert asks.

“We did,” DS Cadogan replies with a nod. “We managed to locate your stepmother, Sandra and the information she was able to give us satisfied the CPS, and they gave us the go ahead to charge Mr. Livesy for all four rapes.” She pauses. “You'll be contacted in time about dates for trial, and arrangements for statements.”

Robert nods. “Thank you,” he says, speaking for Aaron as well as himself. She smiles in response, getting up then and leaving.

Aaron turns to Robert. “You did it,” Robert says to him. “You're going to beat him.”

Aaron wishes he was as sure as Robert is.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra fast update this time! Make sure you've read chapter 19 first!
> 
> Thank you for your comments, please keep letting me know what you think <333

After Gordon entered the predicted 'not guilty' plea at his initial hearing, the trial date was set for the end of May.

Everyone in the village knows; it had ended up in the local paper, and people aren't stupid. The rush of support that Aaron and Chas had suddenly received had overwhelmed Aaron, causing him to hide away in the private parts of the pub, the back room and upstairs. He didn't even go outside for two weeks, unable to cope with everyone knowing.

Robert had let him do what he needed to; knowing full well that pushing him wouldn't end well. Chas had been worried sick, and Robert couldn't deny that when Aaron had been refusing to even set foot outside he'd been more than a little bit concerned, but letting Aaron sort himself out had proved to be the best thing in the end.

Slowly but surely, he'd ventured out again, first into the pub, briefly, to pull himself a pint, before staying longer and longer each time. The first time he'd ventured out, only to sit outside at the tables around the back of the pub, Robert had been with him, offering silent support.

After that, he'd started to come out of his shell a bit. Not too much, he still wouldn't talk to anyone other than him or Chas, but Robert couldn't help but notice him smiling a little bit more, making eye contact, that sort of thing.

It was good to see.

Even Chas had noticed, pulling Robert to the side one evening to make a comment on how proud she was that he was making some progress, finally.

They haven't seen the Dingles since the day they found out. Only Cain has been into the pub the odd time, but he's never stayed long.

Robert doesn't know for certain, but after Chas found out about the state Aaron had gotten himself into that night, he's fairly sure she's barred the lot of them.

Despite all of his progress though, as the trial date looms, Aaron's been getting quieter and quieter, more and more withdrawn. He knows it's through nerves; Aaron's told him as much but it doesn't stop him worrying.

He reaches out, tangling Aaron's fingers with his own as they walk up the steps to the court. Chas is just in front of them, checking to see where they need to go.

Aaron doesn't technically even need to be here; he wasn't allowed to take the stand, his selective mutism making the prosecution concerned that the whole thing would be too stressful for him, so he was excluded for medical reasons. His video statement would be played in court instead, and his written statement read out. He'd considered sitting in the gallery, but ultimately had decided against it, not wanting to see Gordon any more than absolutely necessary.

“Court three,” Chas says when they reach her. “You sure you want to be here, sweetheart?” She asks. “There's plenty of time for Robert or me to run you back, I'd have to see which one of us is up first as a witness.”

Aaron shakes his head, pulls his notepad from his pocket. He's not wearing a suit; for all Robert is certain he'd look positively delectable, he doesn't actually own one. Instead, he's wearing his usual black jeans and t-shirt, with a nice black bomber jacket over the top, a gift from Robert. He'd seen it while out shopping for himself and hadn't been able to resist. It suited Aaron down to the ground, his boyfriend liking it the moment he laid eyes on it.

I want to be here, Aaron writes on the pad, showing it to the both of them. He's lost his voice entirely in the last couple of days, not saying a word to either of them. Robert hopes it's just the stress and worry of the trial and not Aaron relapsing.

He guesses they'll find out once the trial's over and done with. He just hopes it goes their way.

He doesn't want to even imagine how Aaron might react if it doesn't.

“Alright,” Chas says, before looking at Robert. “I don't want him on his own,” she says. “So when I'm in there...”

“I'll stay with him,” Robert promises. “You do the same when I am, yeah?”

She nods. “Then when we've both done our statements, we'll-”

Aaron cuts her off, waving the notepad in her face. I AM HERE YOU KNOW, is written on it in capital letters. 

“Sorry sweetheart,” she apologises. “I just don't want you by yourself, but at the same time I want to see him get what he deserves,” she says, meaning Gordon.

“I'll stay with him,” Robert says. “I don't want to look at that bastard for any longer than I have to anyway.”

Chas glances between him and Aaron, before nodding. “Alright,” she says, agreeing. “I think you're up before me anyway Robert, and I can't sit in the gallery until I've been called as witness so it should be fine.”

They head up the stairs then, following the signs until they reach Court Three. They aren't alone when they arrive however; there's a group of Dingles in the corridor.

Chas sighs angrily. “I thought I told you lot to keep your distance?” She snaps.

Lisa steps forward. “We wanted to be here to support you,” she says. “I know what you said Chas, but it's been weeks, and we couldn't let you all do this on your own.” She waves behind her, where Zak is standing with Cain, Marlon and Debbie beside him. “Belle's too young so Sam's staying with her and Samson and Moira couldn't leave the farm but the rest of us are here. We just want to be here, to support you all however we can. Please don't push us away.”

Chas turns, looking to Aaron. “It's up to you,” she says to him. Robert watches as Aaron shrugs one shoulder, non-committal. She sighs again. “Just don't crowd him,” she says firmly. “And no-one is allowed in there until after they've read out Aaron's statement,” she adds.

That was one thing Aaron had been absolutely adamant about, underlining it multiple times on his notepad when he'd written it down. No-one apart from the people who had to hear it, was to know what he'd written on that statement. 

Robert doesn't know how to feel about that. One one hand, he doesn't want to know what Aaron was put through, but on the other... he wants to know everything so he can make sure he never upsets Aaron inadvertently.

Also, so he knows exactly why Gordon deserves everything he gets.

He has to respect Aaron's wishes though, so hard as it is, he's come to accept that the only people who will know the entirety of Aaron's ordeal are Aaron, the police and whoever is in that court room.

He texts Vic quickly, letting her know that they got there alright. She'd wanted to come, to support them but Aaron had refused, so she was working at the pub instead.

They'd thought they'd have to close up, with no-one around to run the place. That was until Diane had turned up bright and early this morning, determined to help in any way she could so they'd taken full advantage, and she was running the pub for the duration of the trial. However long it takes, she'd promised, she'd be there.

Robert had felt like making a comment about how nice it was to be the priority above Andy, but a well timed nudge from Aaron, who somehow always seemed to know exactly when he was about to make an ill advised decision, had made him bite his tongue.

“It's started,” Chas says, her heels clicking on the marble floor. Robert hadn't even noticed her leaving. “We've got to wait until we're called. They'll do Aaron's statements first, then it's Robert, then me.” She looks to the gathered Dingles. “You lot can go in when they call Robert, they'll be finished with everything Aaron doesn't want us to hear by then.”

Lisa nods, the rest of them following suit, and Robert follows Aaron to a set of chairs against the wall, sitting down on one, Aaron next to him, Chas on Aaron's other side. Lisa keeps her distance along with the other Dingles, offering a smile from the opposite side of the wide corridor.

They settle down to wait.

*

Robert's turn on the witness stand went fairly uneventfully; he'd been cross-examined by the defence and Gordon's lawyer had tried very hard, but Robert stuck to his guns, told the truth and ultimately, he thinks that the defence lawyer ended up making things worse for his client.

He isn't 100% sure, but the tiny smirk he'd seen on the female prosecutors face was telling.

The rest of the Dingles are in court now, watching proceedings from the gallery. Chas is in there too, probably being torn into by the defence right about now...

Robert mentally crosses his fingers, hoping it all goes alright for her. He might be good at not getting wound up but Chas... not so much.

Aaron is pressed against his side, Robert's right arm draped across his boyfriend's shoulders while Aaron fiddles on his phone. Playing some game, Robert sees as he glances down at the screen. He doesn't recognise it, but it looks like the typical mind-numbing sort of thing that's ideal for this situation; passes the time, but doesn't need too much thought.

The door from the court opens, and Robert looks up, Aaron too, peering around him to see what's happening.

“You alright?” Chas asks as she approaches.

“Yeah,” Robert says, seeing Aaron nod out of the corner of his eye. “You? Did it go alright?”

She nods. “Yeah, yeah,” she says. She doesn't sound all that sure. “It was hard,” she admits. “I got accused of wanting revenge and all sorts but I didn't bite, I think I did fine.”

“Good,” Robert says. “They're just trying to get a reaction out of you, that's all,” he says as she wipes at her eyes, clearly upset.

“I know,” she says. “Doesn't make it any easier though does it?”

Aaron gets up, gives Chas a quick hug. It seems to cheer her up as she relaxes slightly, wrapping her arms around him and gripping him back just as tightly. “Thanks sweetheart,” she says as Aaron pulls away.

He smiles at her, returning to his previous position at Robert's side, arranging Robert's arm around his shoulders. Robert snorts at Aaron's antics, seeing Chas's smile widen as she watches.

“I'm going to go sit in the gallery,” she says. “Unless you need me?” She asks.

Robert looks at Aaron, who shakes his head. “We'll be fine,” he tells her.

She nods, heels clicking as she walks away.

*

It's late afternoon, and they must be almost done for the day, Robert thinks. They'd spoken to the prosecutor during the break for lunch, and she said it was going faster than she'd anticipated.

Robert doesn't know if that's a good thing or not, but the quicker it all goes, the less stressful it is for Aaron, so that has to be a good thing.

Aaron is still pressed against his side, still messing with that same game (he's at level 77, he's been told, he supposes that's good, but he really hasn't got a clue).

Chas had come out a little while ago to give them an update, to tell them that Gordon is up next. Robert winces, wondering what lies the man is telling to try and get himself out of this.

He's not sure he wants to know.

Sandra had taken the stand before him. Aaron had hoped to see her, but she'd refused point blank to see him, turning up at court just in time to go in, and leaving again immediately afterwards. Aaron's sister Liv was nowhere to be seen.

“You're disappointed, aren't you?” Robert asks quietly.

Aaron looks up from his phone, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

“About Liv, and Sandra.” Robert says.

Aaron shrugs one shoulder. Closing his game, he puts the notes app up on his phone. I'm not surprised, he types. I'd hoped to see her, see both of them but I thought she'd probably do this, he adds.

Robert sighs, pulling Aaron a little bit closer and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

*

The jury takes less than a day to make their decision, and they get the phone call the following afternoon.

Aaron decides to come into the gallery this time, needing to, wanting to see what happens.

To see whether or not he's going to be believed.

Sitting in the front row with Robert on one side, Chas on the other and the rest of the Dingles, Moira and Sam included, sitting in the rows of seats behind them, they wait with bated breath.

The judge asks the head juror if they've made a decision.

Aaron finds himself shaking. One of his hands is firmly gripped between Robert's, the other between his Mum's. The voices blur as his anxiety peaks, but one word makes it through, clear as day.

“Guilty.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra extra fast update this time, I'm on a roll! :D Thank you so much for your comments and kudos, it means so much so please keep them coming! :D
> 
> Only one chapter left after this... (I know I know, but it's gotta end somewhere!)

“Guilty.”

“Guilty.”

“Guilty.”

When he hears the word for the fourth time, the tears spill over. Pulling his hands free from the now crushing twin grips of his Mum and Robert, he presses them to his mouth as he shakes.

Distantly, he feels hands patting him on the back, his Mum's arms wrapping around him from the side, hears Robert as he stands up, a not so silent “Yes!” coming from his boyfriend's lips.

All he can really focus on though is Gordon. Everything else fades into a blur as the man turns, looks at him.

He looks shocked, like he didn't expect what just happened, like he honestly thought he'd get away with it.

Their eyes meet, and Gordon's expression hardens. Aaron swallows, unable to look away no matter how much he wants to, until the guards lead him away. Once he's out of sight, he finally feels able to breathe again, realising that both Robert and his Mum are trying to get his attention, concern the only expression on their faces.

He blinks, looking around. The rest of the assembled Dingles have vanished, the court area below empty too; only himself, his Mum and Robert remaining in the room.

“You okay, sweetheart?” His Mum asks him.

“You alright?” Robert asks at the same time.

He looks from Robert to his Mum then back again, before nodding, wiping the tears from his eyes with his sleeve. He stands, the two of them following suit and nods his head towards the door.

“Let's get out of here,” Robert says, leading the way.

*

Despite all of his Mum's best efforts, the Dingles felt the need to celebrate the result of the trial.

It seems that whatever she'd said to keep them away since the last time... hasn't stuck.

He gets changed up in his and Robert's room. His clothes aren't even dirty, but he feels the need to shove the whole lot in the wash anyway, to wash away any trace of that room.

He can feel the music, never mind hear it. His floor is vibrating with it; the thump thump thump of whatever has been put on the pubs music system. It's far too loud, and he feels like an old man for even thinking it... but it really is. It's at that point where it's so loud the words can't even be made out.

He guesses that's what it's like in a club, not that he's ever been to one.

Maybe he and Robert could go to one sometime, he thinks. That's a nice thought. He'll have to ask him.

A not so nice thought is the thought of going downstairs and into the bar. He knows he's going to have to at least show his face, to save his Mum from twenty questions at least but he really, really doesn't want to.

Forcing himself to leave his bedroom, he stuffs his clothes into the wash basket on the landing before walking down the stairs.

The music gets louder and louder as he opens the door into the back room, crossing it as he heads for the other door, the one that leads through to the bar. The door handle is vibrating when he puts his hand on it, and he braces himself.

*

Robert needs earplugs.

Fast.

Debbie had turned the music on, Belle had turned it up, and up... and up some more...

Now it was too loud to even make it out, let alone hear himself think.

He looks to Chas, hoping for rescue but to no avail; she's getting as caught up in the 'celebrating' as the rest of them are.

He groans, glances up at the ceiling, in the direction of his and Aaron's room.

This is not going to end well, he thinks.

He's thinking of ways to either get rid of the music (not possible, Belle is guarding the hi-fi system fiercely), or head Aaron off before he gets overwhelmed by the sheer... madness of it all.

It's worse than the welly drinking incident, he realises as he looks around the room with horror.

How do they manage to get so drunk... so quickly? He thinks. He can't fathom it. They're Dingles, they're supposed to be able to hold their drink... aren't they?

Not this lot, he muses, watching as Marlon drunkenly tries to dance with Cain, of all people.

Ducking quickly out of the way of the potential bloodshed, Robert glances towards the double doors behind the bar, his eyes widening.

Aaron's standing there, looking nothing short of shellshocked. As Robert watches, his boyfriend turns tail and vanishes at speed.

Swearing under his breath, Robert gives chase, pushing through numerous drunken Dingles (they seem to be multiplying. He's not sure how), around the bar and through to the back room.

Glancing around quickly, he sees no sign of Aaron. A few seconds later, almost drowned out by the music that seems to be getting even louder, he hears what he thinks is the back door slamming shut.

Making a mental note that the speakers in the bar are probably going to need replacing after tonight, he grabs his jacket from the back of the sofa, heading outside himself.

He can hear the music even once he's outside, and he groans. Pressing a hand to the stone wall as he walks down the side of the pub, he can feel the thump thump thump of the beat.

“Someone's going to end up phoning the police,” he mutters to himself. Probably Edna, he thinks, turning the corner. He sees Aaron at the bottom of the road, jogging past the shop. Walking past Woodbine, he spots the curtains twitching. Definitely going to be Edna, he decides. Serves them right, he thinks. They're all going to be deaf soon if someone doesn't make them turn it down.

Deciding to leave them all to their fate, he breaks into a jog himself, down the road, turning right in front of the shop, down past the church and down towards the bridge.

His and Aaron's bridge, as he calls it privately. It is where they first kissed, after all. It's special.

Aaron's standing in the middle, his arms resting on the railings, hands clasped together in mid air, staring down at the water below. Robert approaches him quietly, stopping a short distance away. Aaron's breathing hard, and he's not sure if it's because of another panic attack, or something more mundane.

Like running down here, for example.

“Hey,” he says, catching Aaron's attention. His boyfriend turns his head to look at him, offering him a small smile. “You alright?” Robert says, approaching him. Reaching Aaron's side, he puts a careful hand on his shoulder, rubbing it lightly.

Aaron shrugs, sighs.

“What's wrong?” Robert asks. “I thought you'd be pleased. He got found guilty, he's going to pay for what he did to you.”

Aaron takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I know,” he says on the exhale. He sniffs, leans forward, hunching over so his head is resting on his hands, the top half of his body now leaning over the railings. Robert's hand has slid to halfway down Aaron's back with the movement, and he leaves it there, ready to grab a fistful of Aaron's hoodie if he needs to.

“So what's up then?” He asks, relieved that Aaron's spoken for the first time in days.

“Feel guilty,” Aaron tells him.

Robert frowns, confused. “Why?” He says. “What do you mean?”

“I reported him,” Aaron says, muffled by his hands. “And now...” He trails off.

“He got what he deserved,” Robert says firmly. “He hurt you, in the worst way possible.”

“I know,” Aaron says, standing up straight and looking at him. “I just... I dunno.” He turns, leaning his back against the railing now. “He's in here,” he says, pointing up at his head. “He's still in here.”

Robert doesn't know what to say to that, but he tries his best. “And in time, he'll go,” he says, hoping beyond anything that what he's saying is true. “He'll fade.”

“And the memories?” Aaron asks, voice thick with emotion, tears in his eyes.

“They'll fade too,” Robert tells him. “We'll replace them with new ones. Happy ones. You and me.”

Aaron sniffs. “You promise?” He says, his expression so trusting, needing Robert's reassurance more than ever.

“I promise.” He replies. “You've got nothing to feel guilty about Aaron, nothing. The only person who does is him.”

Aaron sniffs again as he nods, rubbing at his face as the tears start to fall.

“You deserve to be really happy Aaron,” Robert tells him, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend as Aaron moves in for a hug.

*

Eighteen years.

That's what Gordon gets.

Eighteen years.

Chas and Cain were the only ones that go to the sentencing; Aaron didn't want to see Gordon again, and if Aaron didn't want to go, then neither did Robert.

He'd packed a picnic lunch instead, taking Aaron to one of his favourite spots overlooking the Dales, and, despite the reason for the distraction hanging over them, they'd both managed to have a good time.

A week after the sentencing, the letter arrives.

A visiting order.

Aaron stares at it for a good hour before finally commenting. In that time, Robert has cleaned up and tidied the entire living room, kitchen, the lot.

He'd probably have sorted the bar out too, but he didn't want to leave Aaron on his own. He'd just busied himself so Aaron didn't feel pressured.

“I want to go,” Aaron says.

Robert blinks, suddenly very glad that Chas is away at some brewery lunch do.

If she knew, she'd hit the roof.

Knowing he has to handle this carefully, he moves to sit down at the table, facing Aaron. “Are you sure?” He asks.

Aaron nods. “I need to do this,” he says firmly.

Robert watches him carefully, but sees no sign of any hesitation. He'd know if Aaron was unsure; he can read Aaron's moods better than anyone, a not unwelcome side-effect of Aaron being silent for so long.

Not that he talks much even now, so it's still useful.

Aaron's gotten just as good at reading Robert's own moods, so it's a two-way street. They can have entire conversations in total silence, something that both amuses and infuriates Chas in equal measure.

“Alright,” he says. “I'll phone the prison.” He reaches across the table, picking up the letter. There's a phone number, and he dials it into his mobile, putting it to his ear.

*

Due to the circumstances, the visit is arranged outside normal visiting hours.

Chas doesn't know where they are; Aaron doesn't want her to know, and Robert doesn't want to either break Aaron's trust, or deal with Chas's inevitably... explosive reaction.

Robert waits just inside the gate as Aaron crosses the otherwise empty visiting room to where Gordon is sat at a table.

It's not one of the usual tables. Gordon's hands are underneath it, and they've been told that he's cuffed to a hook underneath.

That, and the three prison officers hovering feet away, does little to ease Robert's anxiety though.

All he can do is watch as Aaron goes to face his worst nightmare.

*

He pulls the chair out, sits down on it and takes a deep breath, straightening his spine before facing him.

Gordon.

His father.

Aaron stares at the man silently, raising an eyebrow in question.

What do you want? Is asked silently.

“Nice to see you son,” Gordon says eventually.

Aaron looks at him. He's been beaten up; bruises mottle his face, in various stages from pale yellow to green to deep deep purple.

He feels a brief flash of guilt; pushes it down.

He has nothing to feel guilty about. He knows that.

“Quiet as ever,” Gordon quips. “Good,” he adds, eyes darkening as he watches Aaron intently.

Aaron snorts.

He knows what he has to do now.

He knows exactly what he has to do now.

“No,” he says calmly. Firmly. “No.”

Gordon's eyes widen as Aaron stands, the chair scraping back on the floor with a sharp sound. He leans forward slightly, palms flat on the table, staring Gordon down.

“You didn't silence me,” he tells him. “I spoke up, and I _won_,” he says.

Standing up, he takes a breath, feeling a weight lifting. “You didn't break me,” he says, shaking his head.

He turns on his heel, walks away.

Doesn't look back.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, the last chapter of this story. Thank you so much to everyone who has commented, left kudos, read this... all of you, thank you. <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, and as always, please let me know what you think!

**Two Months Later – August 2015**

Robert watches Aaron with a fond smile on his face.

It's six months today since their first kiss, and Robert decided to mark the occasion by giving Aaron a gift.

He'd had to consult with Chas first, and he was worried he'd gone over the top, but looking at the grin on Aaron's face as he rolls around the floor in the back room of the Woolpack, the german shepherd puppy jumping all over him...

He knows he's made the right choice.

“So what you going to call him then?” He asks from his position on the sofa.

Aaron looks at him, grinning his head off as the puppy licks his face. He furrows his brows as he thinks for a minute, before speaking.

“Clyde,” he announces decisively.

Robert looks at the puppy, sitting proudly on Aaron's chest, tail wagging, thump thump thump on Aaron's stomach as Aaron strokes his ears. “Suits him,” he says, and Aaron's grin grows even wider.

Aaron still doesn't talk much; Robert doesn't think he ever will. He'll talk to him fairly freely, still goes quiet from time to time, and they have their silent conversations when there's anyone other than Chas in the vicinity, but the notepad hasn't been used when they're alone for a long while now.

He still struggles a bit when talking to Chas. He's managing; the extra speech therapy sessions that Robert has paid for are working to an extent, but his anxiety is still an issue.

Chas doesn't seem to mind. She's happy enough that he talks at all, gets a fond look on her face each and every time she hears Aaron's voice, even if he's complaining about a lost sock, or having to go change a barrel when he 'was literally down there two minutes ago Mum!'.

Robert doesn't think the novelty will ever wear off for her, and he doesn't want it to.

It won't for him either.

The silence returns as soon as anyone else is within earshot; Aaron unable to speak in front of anyone other than Robert or Chas. He's told them that it's a trust thing, according to his therapist, and he's not fussed about it anyway. He spent so long not speaking, so long silent that the thought of other people knowing that he does talk, of other people hearing his voice... it feels alien to him.

No-one else knows that he's ever spoken at all, and that's how Aaron wants it to stay.

Honestly, it makes Robert (Chas too, he assumes) cherish Aaron's words all the more.

They're special, just for them.

Standing up, he watches as the puppy scrambles across the floor, chasing the toy that Aaron's just thrown. Going to his boyfriend's side, he crouches down.

Now... it's time for the other thing he'd asked Chas's permission for.

Aaron pushes himself up, sitting cross-legged on the floor, peering around Robert to see the puppy, Clyde, Robert corrects himself, sniffing around under the sideboard.

“I love you,” Robert tells him.

“I love you too,” Aaron replies immediately, without the slightest falter in his voice. Leaning up, he presses a kiss to Robert's lips.

Robert smiles.

Drops from his crouch onto one knee.

Watches Aaron's eyes widen as he produces a small black box from the pocket of his suit jacket.

Holds the box out between them, Aaron looking from it, to Robert, then back to it, speechless.

“Aaron Dingle... will you marry me?” Robert asks, opening the ring box. Aaron looks at the ring, glistening in its bed of black velvet, tears filling his eyes. There's only one way he hopes to get an answer to this, and Robert hopes Aaron will say-

“Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr! [TurquoiseTerrier](http://turquoiseterrier.tumblr.com) Come say hello! :)


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